Saturday, October 21, 2017

Thoughts on what I tell others

Disclaimer:  I'm not in a bad mood.  I'm in a pretty good mood.  The past couple of weeks blogging I have felt more accepted than I ever have over these 7 and a half years.  These are just some thoughts swirling around in regards to comments on earlier posts.

Sometimes I feel like a bit of a hypocrite.  It is part of a coping mechanism.  If people try to build me up with words that conflict with my view of how things are, I will appreciate that they think well of me but I am stubborn and retain my point of view.  The reason is more pragmatic than based on desire.  I would love to feel good about myself.  Unfortunately, feeling good about myself doesn't remove the hurdles, obstacles, and struggles that inherently exist due to my role and status.

If I feel good and confident, rejection hurts a lot more.  I try to put together a more realistic tone that allows me to express myself as much as I can while still protecting myself.  As a minority, I shouldn't show up at a KKK rally because the world is more tolerant than it was 100 years ago.  It is better to predict that such an experience probably won't go so well and steer clear of it. 

Thus, I don't anticipate the community at large will accept me.  I can draw from my past experiences, the words of others, and what I see and have seen to anticipate the probable scenarios, brace for them, and hope for the best while protecting myself from the worst.  Thus, if I think highly of myself, deem myself desirable, or believe that my kinks/fetishes are not shameful, I open myself up to be crushed... badly.

This contrasts greatly when I am talking with others, or at least with women.  It's not that I'm against interacting with men, they just rarely share themselves in a position where I can advise them on anything and even when they approach me directly, it doesn't usually go very well.  With women, it is a lot easier to build them up while staying consistent with realism because nothing involves conditions, nothing involves "in my personal opinion" as a prefix, and it doesn't involve any dishonest statements.  I can state truths forcefully and in an absolute tone.

With women, regardless of role, a common hangup is accepting that they are different and kinky.  This is easy.  I think that women that embrace kink and alternative lifestyles are awesome.  It shows courage to admit to desires.  It shows originality through a willingness to explore ideas that fall outside of societal norms.  It takes strength and dedication to learn about and pursue those desires.  These aren't lies.  I'm not blowing smoke.  These aren't one man's opinion.

Popular opinion agrees.  A kinky woman is sexy and adventurous (would you prefer a prude?).  It's attractive.  The sex will be glorious and explosive.  A kinky woman is alluring and men wish they were with one.  She should feel no shame and be proud and confident about her kinks.  It's hot.
All of this is true, isn't it?

Dommes have a leg up even, because they have the right to feel absolute entitlement.   Anything she wants is possible.  Nothing she asks for is too much.  Supply and demand says so.  I have known Dommes who don't want to feel special just because they are rare.  There are of course other reasons, but rare is precious and precious is valuable.  You are a diamond.  You are gold.  You are that which is desired.  If this was meaningless and easy, millions of women would be going dominant just to have the power, the status, and its benefits.  Since they do not, you are, rare, precious, valuable, and special.

Any shape and size.  Any body type.  Any height, weight, or color.  You name it and there is demand for it.  Thousands of men will line up for it.  Have an ugly scar?  There will be a line of men who absolutely adore you and your scar.  A BBW?  There will be a line of men who absolutely adore you and your body.  Very short or tall?  Thousands will be there for both.  Have a third leg?  MILLIONS will be there wanting to worship it.

If there is one upside about F/m dating, it is that if a woman has an insecurity about something, there will be a thousand men lined up and believing she is absolutely perfect because of it.  This is truth.

It doesn't matter what your kinks are.  It doesn't matter if they are normal, extreme, or out there.  There are always a thousand men who will LOVE what you are into.  The more extreme and more out there, the more they will love you for it and the luckier they will feel.

Basically, you will always be perfect.  There will always be a cadre of subs that believe you are perfect.  This gives you absolute freedom to be who you are, like what you like, and demand whatever you see fit.  This is the power of the precious.  You choose.  You can make them jump through hoops to prove themselves.  You set the bar wherever you want it.  The worthy will pass and the unworthy will fail.  You are perfect exactly as you are.  This is truth.

I guess I'm not really a hypocrite as these views are all based upon the same principles of realistic views of how popular opinion perceives us.

2 comments:

  1. I know its a clichéd saying and easier to say than do...but the only approval and validation you need is from yourself. And for whatever its worth...I accept you. :)

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