tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097573368575371682.post11446635883404409..comments2023-06-29T09:42:26.046-05:00Comments on Sentiments from an Enslaved Sissy: Thoughts on Submissive Behavior and Controlfur sissyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06773975470940525031noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097573368575371682.post-49344903951896653252017-04-06T23:17:59.671-05:002017-04-06T23:17:59.671-05:00Thank you very much, Mrs Fever for the wonderful r...Thank you very much, Mrs Fever for the wonderful reply.<br /><br />I appreciate your willingness to share your perspectives on this. I hesitate to make some posts like these as the feedback can be less than favorable at times. <br /><br />Sleep deprivation and defensiveness over some events of the past month are/were definitely clouding my thoughts and blocking views of certain things that should have been very obvious.<br /><br />Quote:<br />"When you (and I'm not picking on YOU, specifically; I'm just using 'you' in a general sense) are doing something that feeds your overall dynamic, it's not necessary that the chore itself be directly tied to your sexual arousal. Many of the things my spouse does for me do not directly turn me on. But all of the things we do for each other feed into our overall dynamic, which makes our sexy times more relaxed and our desire for each other more constant."<br /><br />I agree with this completely. My experiences are that the symbolism behind the chore (e.g. love, submission, etc.) tend to blend into the dynamics. In some cases these can lead to indirect arousal but in others they may not.<br /><br />Quote:<br />"What you seem to be saying - and please clarify if this is not what you mean - is that you don't 'get' how other subs can be happy doing chores if it doesn't feed into subspace-y feelings or key their arousal."<br /><br />It's not so much that I don't get it, but more grappling with the idea that if someone doesn't enjoy doing chores and doesn't have this contribute to their subspace, I wonder how well they can hold up in the long run. A lot of my thoughts were skewed to a specific blog post where the author stated they expect a sub to basically become a slave (give up personal life/free time, friends, hobbies, finances, etc.) and live with absolute obedience while performing anything/everything without question or hesitation or the need for maintenance/attention. <br /><br />As an ideal the concept that a sub can keep this up as a display of love or submission indefinitely makes sense to me. It's just not one that I find communicated in actual practice very often. Too frequently it's blogs from subs wishing there would be more structure within the expectations or Dommes wondering where the subs are that are willing to be submissive beyond the bedroom that are the most common voice. These also skew my perspective and often blow up the idea of "service with a smile." <br /><br />The last great sources of my ignorance stem from the roots that I haven't ever had a successful vanilla relationship and that my D/s relationships leaned towards the more extreme side of things (and I am not the type that enjoys chores). I fully admit these factors blinded me while writing this. Chores get done all of the time regardless of whether people actually want to do them and for some reason this example seemed to be the one that lingered most strongly as my target example.<br /><br />I can just recall weeks where I had a string of bad days at work, nightmarish traffic, and mild depression flare-ups where the last thing I wanted to do when I got home was to cook dinner, vacuum, etc. I remember wishing, "please just spank me so I can feel submissive instead of this."<br /><br />Quote:<br />"I think that those issues bear less pressure in successful D/s dynamics because it's much more clear-cut as to Who Is Responsible For What."<br /><br />I love this statement.<br /><br />I'm not sure if I was able to adequately elaborate on that part but thank you so much for taking the time to write and share your thoughts. I try to learn as much as I can about the different perspectives out there and I enjoy understanding things from as many points of view as possible. <br /><br />Take care.fur sissyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06773975470940525031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3097573368575371682.post-4107358482701863752017-04-06T21:57:02.692-05:002017-04-06T21:57:02.692-05:00QUOTE
There are many submissive husbands or par...QUOTE <br /><br />There are many submissive husbands or partners that willingly take upon themselves life's more tedious tasks including cooking, cleaning, chores, and the like. A part that I feel like I am missing is the knowledge as to how other subs who perform these tasks feel about doing them. <br /><br />END QUOTE<br /><br />Maybe the difference lies in how a person feels about the activity regardless of whether it's being 'required' of them. There are plenty of people - male and female, submissive and not - who <b>enjoy</b> housework. If doing something they enjoy is also providing a service to/for someone they love, it's a double whammy of feel-good. My husband, for example, really likes taking care of our house, and he feels like he's accomplished something once he's finished cleaning the floors/washing the dishes/insert-chore-here. The fact that he's doing something he LIKES to do gives me more to work with when it comes to asking him to take on additional housework (which, as opposed to him, I *don't* like). He already likes doing it, I ask him to do more of what he likes, he likes knowing he's doing it for me which adds to the fact that he likes doing it, so I ask him to do more... <br /><br />And 'round and 'round we go. Basically, it's an infinity lemniscate that feeds back into itself with constant positive reinforcement. (Also I'm NOT a DomlyDomlyDomme so griping and bitching at someone to get things done is an aberration to me. I'm not yell-y or demand-y when it comes to acts of service. I'm appreciative and reward him for his hard work.)<br /><br />What you seem to be saying - and please clarify if this is not what you mean - is that you don't 'get' how other subs can be happy doing chores if it doesn't feed into subspace-y feelings or key their arousal.<br /><br />From my perspective... Why does it need to? When you (and I'm not picking on YOU, specifically; I'm just using 'you' in a general sense) are doing something that feeds your overall dynamic, it's not necessary that the chore itself be <b>directly</b> tied to your sexual arousal. Many of the things my spouse does for me do not <i>directly</i> turn me on. But all of the things we do for each other feed into our overall dynamic, which makes our sexy times more relaxed and our desire for each other more constant. You hear about couples who have issues in the bedroom, and usually it's tied to something else: money, division of household responsibilities, child-rearing fatigue, etc. I think that those issues bear less pressure in successful D/s dynamics because it's much more clear-cut as to Who Is Responsible For What.<br /><br />As for the whole control thing...<br /><br />A nitpick-y micro-manager who growls at their submissive for not doing their chores 'perfectly' and who *enjoys* being disdainful of their submissive's hard work? That sounds like an unappreciative, entitled nightmare of a partner to me.<br /><br />Personally, I'm a believer in clear-cut communication and positive reinforcement. It's good for my own psyche as well as his.<br /><br />But, to each their own.<br /><br />A bit about the chores: http://mrsfever.com/2016/08/28/tasks/Mrs Feverhttp://mrsfever.comnoreply@blogger.com