Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Newest drawing... finally some progress

I'm actually a bit proud of this one.  Not really that I'm getting that much better at drawing, but more so that I'm finally showing some progress with shading and drawing eyes and lips.  I still have a ways to go on all of them but it's definitely happening more easily and with better results than I was having a few weeks ago.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

How women can humiliate men

Being humiliated by a woman or in front of several women is a big fetish for many subs and is especially common amongst sissies.  However, there's so many types of humiliation, many of which hit different parts of the male psyche.

If you are a single male and you:
-Aren't extremely handsome/attractive
-Don't have a "good" physical build.
-Don't have a "good" head of hair.
-Don't have a "large" penis.
-Are short or tall (e.g. you aren't between 5'10" and 6'5")
-Lack confidence when talking to particularly attractive women.
-Lack an interesting personality and/or good sense of humor.

If any of the above describe you, chances are good that at some point in time you were humiliated by a woman or faced the fear of potential humiliation when dealing with a woman.  This is especially likely if you went after women that were "out of your league," but it's probably even more harsh if it happened by a woman that was "in your league."

There's a lot of emphasis placed on society's standards held towards women and how they are judged based upon how attractive they are.  Now this is a bit wrong in many cases but when it comes to dating and relationships, I feel men are often ill-prepared to face these situations without inevitably feeling humiliated at some point in time.  At the very least, women being expected to be pretty make them accustomed to knowing how to make themselves as attractive as possible in terms of clothing, physical appearance, makeup, hair, etc.  I think this is a big load in BS in things like the business world but it definitely gives them a leg up when it comes to dating.

Now men shouldn't let themselves go or walk around looking like crap, un-bathed, unshaven, and with a bad haircut, but when you go beyond what you can control, you hit the factors that you can't control.  Your natural body shape, height, water retention (puffy vs wiry), facial features, hair or lack of, penis size, etc. were pretty much determined through your genes.  Since much of dating is superficial at the start (aka if she gives you a chance or not) there's a good chance you may have insecurities about one or more of these things, especially if you have ever been shot down or broken up with because of them.  Sexual endurance is another ball game to contend with.  In most cases if someone doesn't cum (not including orgasm denial) it's usually the woman.  Fetishes are yet another factor to contend with.

Together these things lead to the different ways men can be humiliated, some of which may be of a humiliation fetish while others might not.  

General inadequacy
Being shot down before given a chance.  This is the "nice try" or "not a chance" type response when approaching a woman.  Now it may be because she has a lover but in many cases it's simply because she doesn't like what she sees and knows she can do better.  You don't do it for her and never will.  You're too short/tall, too skinny/fat, too ugly, etc.  If this happens enough you start to feel those things about you must be true.

This can also apply to situations (usually fairly early in a relationship) where you get dumped for no apparent reason.  Basically, she thinks she can do better than you.  File under: it's not you, it's me.

Sexual inadequacy
This can fall under three primary categories:  lack of ability, lack of endurance, or lack of size. 

This can be a particularly strong fear for men, especially for ones that remain a virgin long after "most " of their peers.  In all honesty, most women won't break up with a man she is emotionally compatible with and in love with for any of the reasons above, but that fear and his male ego usually remain.  While this might remain a small insecurity, the real insecurity happens BEFORE you know if you are emotionally compatible or in love.  
Does every man suffer from this?  No.  Do many?  Probably.  The less sexual experience you have, the smaller the penis you have, the shorter sexual endurance you have, the more likely you are to have a fear of this.

Even if you rank poorly sexually you can still improve and be able to easily please your lover by mastering the art of cunnilingus, but she will still be able to hold that over you.  Even if you are able to please her in bed regularly, she can probably still find some way of bringing your insecurities to the surface if she wanted to.  Being with a woman who's ex had an 11" dick is sort of like having your band being blown off the stage by the opening act.  You still might rock but it will continue to nag at you no matter what anyone says.

Fetish humiliation
I think every guy with a fetish out there has probably been faced with this fear.  You have a particular fetish but are terrified to share it for fear that she will be disgusted or repulsed by it and she might break up with you, tell everyone she knows, etc.  

The scale of this one varies based upon the fetish, how strong it is, how common it is, etc.  If you like being tied up this probably bugs you less than if you want to be shit on... unless you can only get hard if you are tied up.  Being afraid of being humiliated by sharing your humiliation fetish is definitely ironic.

So these are the fears... but what about the people with a fetish for humiliation?  This gets rather complicated if it's something you've never thought about before.

Men will either have a fetish for being humiliated on a micro or macro level.  In the micro level, men will prefer to be humiliated by or in front of:

One woman that they know (usually their lover or a woman that they desire).
One man that they know.
Several women that they know.
Several men that they know.
A group of women and men that they know.

On the macro level we have being humiliated by or in front of:
Several women that are strangers.
Several men that are strangers.
A group of men and women that are strangers.

The micro level carries a lot greater weight than the macro level.  When humiliated in your microcosm, you must live within that microcosm post-humiliation.  On the macro level, these are people you will probably never see, nor have to deal with ever again. 

Going even further there's many types of humiliating reactions men may get turned on by.
-Laughter in a cruel insulting way.
-Laughter in an amused way.
-Shocked in a disgusted way.
-Shocked in a surprised way.
-Plain disgust.
-A smirk in a "knowing" or insulting way.
-A smirk in an amused way.

There are also great differences in how any of these reactions will be delivered to the man.
-In your face.  She gets close and directs the reaction to him, wanting to see his reaction.
-From a distance.  Think of the "whisper, point, giggle" fantasy here.
-In between.  She reacts to him but stays far enough away where she doesn't want to actually interact with him.  IMO, in between is probably the harshest of the three.

As you can probably tell, I sort of ran out of gas for this post about halfway through heh.  I may try to elaborate on some of this if people have any questions/comments on particular subjects.