Q & A?

Just looking for some ideas to write about in between fiction.

If anyone has any questions for me, requests, or ideas, please feel free to leave a comment, use the contact form on the blog, or my email in my blogger profile, I'm always willing to consider requests for things to talk about.

Yes, this is me feeling starved for more contact/interaction :)

Graphic and Explicit Writing

I'm feeling a lot more liberated in my writing since finishing up the reflections.  Putting a name to Dommes and giving events an approximate time-frame has made it a lot easier to write about experiences and events without feeling the need to give every post the backstory leading up to it.

I am also finding myself writing a lot more graphically about sexual activities than I ever have before.  In the past I'd felt that including a lot of that might dilute the focus of posts and I desperately wanted to avoid being written off as "just some wanker sub," so I made a conscious effort to avoid getting too explicit about things.

Now that I have broken that barrier, I'm feeling self-conscious about it and I have a question to readers... Do you prefer this newer style or my older "keep it in your imagination" method of dealing with sexual events?

I'm honestly curious.  It's nice to be able to illustrate things with actual life examples but I don't want generalized concepts being too pigeon-holed into my specific set of fetishes and circumstances.

Any feedback would be appreciated.

It's been a while

I haven't drawn anything in a while but I finished one tonight.

Ugh...

Part of why I've been blogging and drawing so much is that I struggle from depression.

When it starts "tingling" I go out of my way to fight it off, usually in the form of setting goals or tasks for myself to complete and then going at them full-on.  I can feel my resolve starting to falter a bit.

Part of it is due to the weather... I live in an area where it's going to be cold as hell and covered in snow for the next 3+ months so even things like going to the store that's 3 miles away can seem like a chore.  This in turn leads to some shut-in status and weight gain which doesn't do much for self-esteem.

While those are factors, the primary thing is that the holidays have a lot of terrible memories for me.  The kind of deep-rooted shit that has carved some big emotional scars that have kept me struggling my whole life.  Last year I vanished from the internet for a few months working to get myself back on track and I'm hoping to avoid that this year.

So... if you read this blog (and hopefully enjoy it)... your comments and requests help give me a goal to work towards and keep my head above water.  If there's anything you like, don't like, want to see more of, want me to talk about, want me to draw, etc. please let me know.  Comments, email, even just saying "hey" on my chat box... those all keep me going.

Sorry if this makes me seem like a whiny-ass bitch, I can just spot the signs of my depression kicking in early on while I still have the power to beat it. 

What to do next?

I'm kind of surprised at some of the votes in my good/bad/weird options considering I don't receive a lot of comments to feed off of.  It's not so much surprise, I'm just having trouble getting a firm grasp on what people like (or don't like) seeing.

What I have been able to put together:
-People have little interest in my "portrait" style drawings, where it's just a woman unless it's on the risque side of things and/or keys into a specific fetish (e.g. really big fur).

-BDSM/Ds scenes must involve an active interplay between the Domme and sub, with the exception of lesbian scenes where the sub is in the background.

-Humiliation and degradation are most popular.

 -(Almost) no one really cares about any of my fashion-oriented postings.

-There isn't a lot of interest in my more cerebral postings.

I'm not really the type to cater completely towards people want (unless it's in common with what I also like/want), but I guess I just haven't figured out how to draw readers and spur a lot of conversation on what I do write and draw.  I'm open to suggestions. 

A request from mittens

Mittens from the blog Wrapped up sent me a request. 

Doing this drawing made me realize just how far I have to go, especially when it comes to drawing objects when I don't have a good model to work from.  I tried to crop this one fairly small in order to hide my embarrassingly bad semi-attempt at 3-point perspective.

I have included both the color scheme he requested as well as one that's a bit more sissy.

Latest requested drawing

I received a request for this one via email after a chat on messenger.  I hope you all enjoy it. 

Another requested drawing

Thank you everyone for the comments

I've been having a lot of people message me lately through the messenger on my blog.  I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has chatted with me. 

If anyone has any requests please feel free to let me know.

I thrive strongly on feedback, comments, and emails, so if you really like something and want me to post more things like it (whether it be written or drawn) please let me know.

My first requested portrait

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A few minor ramblings

Sorry if this bleeds long... it's a week's worth of thoughts crammed into one post.

I know there are some other blog authors out there that feel this way, but I am curious as to what types of posts I have made (and will make in the future) that people who visit here like to read most.  I have looked at my blog traffic stats and they don't really yield much insight into it... my July 2010 post on anal plugs (which I'm not even "into") still leads all other post views by a wide margin, at 5000 views ahead of my April 2010 Sardax tribute and 6500 views more than my May 2010 Inescapable Contract post.  All other posts are 7000+ views behind that anal plugs post and the only recent one to make it into the top 5 was my Jan 2011 drawing inspired by MsMarie.

I have been debating re-posting a few of my older posts because I think they have value and merit but have been buried pretty far back.  I think I didn't break 5 followers until I had 40+ posts, so many of those original 40 that had a target audience have been long-forgotten.  When I first entered the blogging community I had a target audience (subs in the fledgling stages of introducing Femdom to their partners or those searching for Dommes) in mind but after spending countless hours typing comments on those blogs I realized quickly that the demographic had shunned me.  It's like they listened to my comments since I had lifestyle experience but didn't want anything to do with the other things I wrote since I labeled myself a sissy. 

The craziest thing that ended up happening in the long run was that it seems the majority of my readers that make comments are Dominants.  That is something that fills me with a deep sense of pride as a sub.

If anyone has any ideas for re-posts on any of my earlier writings that they would like to discuss please let me know.



I have realized over time that while I am able to exert a great deal of control over my depression, my Mistress's moods and actions towards me affect my ability to keep it under control.  When her behavior is erratic towards me, my depression starts to overwhelm me.  When her behavior is good to me, I am fine.  I'm not sure if I should feel weak because of this or if I should just accept that as okay.  I was an orphan given up by my biological parents and that is the primary root of my abandonment issues and I've always needed to feel loved to keep my craziness from spiraling out of control.  Femdom has seemingly been a godsend to me.  In my past relationships and earlier in my current relationship when I felt depression start rearing up I would just ask my Mistress to kick the dominance up a notch.  If her expectations of me got incredibly difficult to meet with failures swiftly punished and good performance acknowledged, my submission would calm the storm inside of me and any signs of depression would fade away.


I want to give a big Thank You to everyone that has shown me support during this down time of mine.  I really hope to be back up to a state of solid emotional health soon.  I miss reading blogs in depth and leaving comments on them.  Lately I just haven't been able to keep my heart calm enough to keep that up very well.  When I write a long comment I usually spend 40-150 minutes on it (sometimes having it span multiple sittings) and while there's many things I have wanted to say, the timing just hasn't worked out lately for anything but a few brief chirps here and there.  If you are accustomed to having me comment on your blog, I will hopefully be back in full capacity soon.




Now that I have at least a few drawings under my belt that I would rank as "decent," does anyone have a favorite type of drawing that I have done so far?  Sometimes when I'm just looking to practice it's hard to come up with ideas of things I really want to draw and I can do more with a certain style or idea if something floats your boat.  I'm currently working on a Femdom dream scenario fantasy drawing that is my most ambitious project yet in that it will have at least 6 characters pictured in it.  I know I'm taking a risk on time-wasting if it ends up turning out like crap but I'm willing to give it a go.  Each "person" in a drawing takes me somewhere between 40 minutes and 4 hours.  I tend to spend a lot more time drawing women than men as I'm more concerned that the women turn out looking good. 

I'm still sort of trying to figure out what types of drawings garner a positive response.  I was surprised no one commented on my Punishment Box drawing.  So far I have only had one drawing that turned out exactly how I wanted it to, and it was a practice portrait.



It's been nice having people message me through my chat box, thank you everyone.



Lastly, does anyone have any thoughts on the stuff in my post before this one?  Anything at all?  Like... "that's sexy" or "man your taste sucks"?  Although now that I think about it, those who have followed my blog for a long time probably just think it's predictably me.  I'm such a simpleton in that regards.  If I ever found myself single again it really wouldn't take much for a woman to exploit me pretty badly. 

Mistress and I rarely go shopping together anymore for her clothes and I think that's one of the things I miss the most.

Requests for picture ideas, inspiration, etc.

I had someone contact me for a portrait request of his Mistress last week for her birthday that is coming up.  That really made me feel good and I was a bit shocked as I'm still not confident in my abilities.  I won't be posting it until after the said birthday, but he was able to tell it was her and also that it was him kneeling beside her and that's about all I can really hope for at this point.

My drawing muse has started to dry up a bit.  I've gotten halfway through a couple of pictures and then just gotten tired of them before I was finished. 

If anyone has any ideas or requests I can see what I can do.  Either a verbal description or some pictures/photos to use as inspiration would be appreciated if anyone would like to share.

Looking for feedback, suggestions, comments... anything

I guess I've just been feeling lonely lately, especially with Mistress working nights and things being a handful on the home front right now.  If anyone has any ideas, comments, suggestions, feedback, requests, etc. for drawings or writings, please let me know.

It's one of those times where I just wish I could feel a connection of some sort.

I've always wondered...

If people wanted to me to share more about myself on a personal level.  I'm fairly certain there are those who would prefer if I graphically recounted play experiences, and I'm guessing there are others that would prefer me writing and exploring different topics on an analytical level.

I get a handful of comments and feedback (all of which I am grateful for) but not enough to really know what to write sometimes. Maybe it's best during those times that I just draw hehe. 

200 posts

It seems that earlier tonight I broke the 200 post mark.  I know my web presence has been a bit sporadic but I'm grateful to all those who read my blog and everyone that I have communicated with both here and on other blogs.  You all help inspire me and hopefully I'm able to contribute to some of you as well.

Keep in mind I'm always open to requests for topics to write about or answering any questions you might have.

Writer's block

I'm not sure if it's stress or lack of action in my relationship but I'm having a severe case of writer's block.  I have a handful of half-finished posts that just don't seem to be going anywhere.

If anyone has any questions or ideas, please let me know as I'm in need of a bit of a jump-start right now. 

Soooooo burned out

We have a lot going on right now and my stress level is through the roof.  These are the kinds of times where I usually need D/s the most as it reduces my stress level by a wide margin (or at least turns it into a more fun kind of stress) but due to our work schedules things just aren't coinciding very well, sometimes limited to 20-40 minutes of time together on a given day.

If anyone has any ideas for things they would like me to write about or discuss I'm open to suggestions. 

Thinking about specific subjects really helps to free my mind from the grind.

Health Concerns in a D/s Dynamic

In my last request for topic ideas Lady Grey responded with an interesting topic suggestion.  Part of her comment has been posted below:

"The subject is, more or less, the health questions that arise when a sub is expected to follow orders. The two problems that come to mind are:
1. "Lick the bottoms of my shoes clean!" Does that really make any sense, assuming the shoes have left the house and have stepped who-knows-where?
2. "Lick my ass! Make sure your tongue goes deeply in and out as you fuck me with it." Even if the Mistress cleans herself well before issuing such an order, is it hygienically fair to have your sub obey you?"

Oddly enough, this topic is something I have thought about quite a bit over the years and it was especially active in my thoughts when I was first entering the lifestyle.  Upon my first Mistress's request to come up with a list of hard limits for the relationship several of them were related to personal health and hygiene. 

In my initial list of hard limits I had several stipulations regarding cleanliness and hygiene.  I can't recall exactly what I wrote at that time but they included:
-Must have access to regular bathing and other personal hygiene such as brushing teeth and flossing.

-Nothing involving scat.

In addition to the two Lady Grey listed above, a few other scenarios I have seen that come to mind are:
-Diaper training or punishment (forcing someone to urinate and defecate in a diaper and continuing to wear it).
-Anal tampons (sometimes used for a "virtual period").
-Long-term chastity and thorough cleaning of the penis (especially for those who aren't circumcised).
-Long-term chastity and orgasm denial (in relation to regular expulsion of the prostate to avoid toxin build up).

A safe, sane, and consensual me says a sub shouldn't agree to be in a situation that could lead to serious health risks and issues.  If that means rejecting a certain activity on the grounds of health risk, so be it.  If that means choosing only to serve women who will keep things healthy and sanitary, so be it.

A realistic, deep sub-space and low will-power me will follow orders as commanded (especially if the threat of punishment is involved) and it's up to the Mistress to determine which acts are healthy and sanitary and which ones are not as well as whether or not she will subject her sub to said acts.

I guess my feelings are that a sub that is completely immersed in sub-space cannot make decisions for himself that are the best for his own well-being and I believe it's up to the Domme to decide what she will subject him to.  The advice I've given to newer Dommes in regards to these things are:  treat him like a favorite toy.  You play with him often and you can play rough, but you are always careful not to break him.

Overall, if the Domme doesn't respect health concerns I do not think she should be angry if the sub declines on those grounds.   She does have a reason to punish him and he should willingly accept the punishment for disobedience.  On the other hand, if she doesn't respect health concerns and he ends up getting very sick or having permanent damage, she should feel guilty and responsible (while he should also feel responsible but not guilty).  The best Dommes always account for the well-being of their subs.

Open to Suggestions...

As usual, I'm guessing the themes of my posts seem to be all over the map.  I do this a bit intentionally since I don't want to get into the habit of pigeonholing myself into one theme so I try to exert some balance, mixing my Femdom philosophy, personal thoughts, experiences, and more sissy/humiliation-oriented material.

Is there any type of post the readers would like to see more or less of?

I'm open to suggestions as I tend to just sort of write whatever flows out of me but if there's things that people like or dislike I'm willing to keep those requests in mind for future posts.

In Need of Ideas

I seem to have lost a bit of intensity in my writing lately.  I think this may be a good thing since it means there aren't a lot of pressing thoughts or feelings that I need to think through but at the same time I feel a bit at a loss when I sit down to write.

If anyone has any ideas for new posts or would like me to elaborate on something I talked about in a previous post please let me know.  Otherwise I will probably take a bit of a break from writing blog entries and will probably stick to reading blogs and making some comments here and there until my muse returns.