Friday, February 18, 2011

Stupid Polls

For some reason votes seem to be dropping off of my polls.  I'm not sure if this means that people who voted deleted accounts or if cookies expired, etc. or what.  I guess I'll have to start letting them expire rather than changing the end dates to keep them going.

Looking for feedback, suggestions, comments... anything

I guess I've just been feeling lonely lately, especially with Mistress working nights and things being a handful on the home front right now.  If anyone has any ideas, comments, suggestions, feedback, requests, etc. for drawings or writings, please let me know.

It's one of those times where I just wish I could feel a connection of some sort.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Fun with drawing

Progress seems to be happening slowly but I've finally been able to notice it in the past few weeks.  It seems that it's as much a part of learning the easiest way to draw in Illustrator as it is improving actual techniques.

I still have a long ways to go but it's really bringing me a lot of joy now that it's less of a struggle to convey what I'm trying to.

I pretty much neglected shading on this one as getting the shading right takes me nearly as long as it does to do the entire drawing.  It's kind of silly like that.  Right now it's pretty much an even split on time:  one third drawing almost everything, one third drawing just the eyes, nose, and lips, and one third for shading. 

I have another one of just the Domme since it turned out better than I had expected it to.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Sacrifice as a symbol of love and devotion

Sacrifice is often viewed as a symbol of love and devotion.  While they are often related in both vanilla and D/s relationships, sacrifice is often seen as a cornerstone of D/s relationships.

In pretty much any D/s relationship subs are expected to sacrifice power/control, sexual freedom/orgasm control, and privacy/secrecy (among other things) from the get go.  These are pretty much anticipated from the start and a sub entering into a D/s relationship pretty much accepts to sacrifice at least this much as it's pretty much what makes up submission.  Stricter Dommes will probably require more sacrifices from the beginning whereas more relaxed Dommes may require only a few. 

Since reluctant Domme converts may (at least at first) find their lover/sub wishing to make more sacrifices than they would like to accept, I'm not going to include them in the discussion.

What I'm mostly interested are sacrifices that are made during the relationship, after the initial sacrifices have been made and agreed to.  In my opinion, sacrifices end up falling into two primary categories and are meant to symbolize two primary things.

1. Sacrifices offered by the sub.
2. Sacrifices demanded by the Domme.

A. Love
B. Devotion

As with any relationship, D/s relationships often have their ups and downs and the sub may find themselves in a position where they have to come up with something special to make up for a previous wrong.  A sub may do something drastic or offer up a sacrifice hoping the Domme will see it as being a sufficient display of devotion.

In other cases a sub may wish to make a sacrifice in a romantic way, offering his sacrifice to appeal to his Domme's emotions and use them as a symbol of his love for her.

Both types are thought of in fairly high regard but it is absolutely crucial that the sub's sacrifice appropriately appeals to the Domme's likes and dislikes.  e.g. a Domme that loves vaginal intercourse with a live penis will likely be offended if a sub shows up wearing a steel chastity belt and hands her the key saying he doesn't want to be unlocked for the next year. 

A difficult aspect of being a sub is that a deep and meaningful sacrifice can often only be used once before it becomes the norm.  The result is that the "next time" there must be an even greater sacrifice.  I don't think it comes as any surprise that D/s intensity tends to increase over time.

When a Domme demands/requires a sacrifice from her sub it usually has a significantly different feel even though the underlying premises may remain the same.  Since I'm prone to giving everything labels and categories, I will say that most Domme-driven sacrifices usually stem from either a test for her sub or a punishment. 

A Domme wanting to test their sub may wish to see a symbol of either his love or devotion.  Tests of devotion tend to happen much earlier in relationships and tests of love are more common later down the road (often when things grow a bit stale or lazy).  "If he is truly devoted to me he should be willing to give up "  or "If he truly loves me he will be willing to give up ."  These tests can sometimes stem from insecurity (and in vanilla relationships they usually do), but acknowledging that doesn't change the fact that they do happen.

A sub faced with one of these tests is at a huge disadvantage. 

A Domme that wishes to punish their sub may require a sacrifice as proof of devotion and a serious commitment to the nature of the D/s relationship.  This is pretty straight-forward and doesn't really need any explaining.

What strikes me as odd is the difference in how each of these are viewed.  A sub that offers a sacrifice is seen as loving and romantic.  A Domme that requires sacrifice is often seen as "going too far" in the D/s dynamic.  What I don't quite understand about this view is that while it's in general agreement that being a Domme in a lifestyle D/s relationship takes a LOT of work to keep things rolling, keep things interesting, and keeping the relationship on the right track, it seems like when I read blogs where a Domme has required great sacrifice on the part of the sub there's often a lot of negative responses both from subs and other Dommes.

I guess the majority of the time I file required sacrifice under "necessary maintenance."  Subs tend to get more submissive over time just as Dommes tend to get more dominant over time and rarely do these progressions happen at the same rate.  I think that sacrifices tend to serve as a "jump start" to help catch the other party up to whichever one is moving faster along the curve and get them closer to the same page.  In cases where this is unsuccessful it's often an easy indicator that the two are not compatible (or not compatible any longer).

Thank you for the drawing

Candy from A Submissive Sissy was nice enough to do a drawing based upon my sissy aerobics drawing.

It's a much better drawing than mine but at least I was able to inspire the outfit.

Thank you, Candy.