Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Drawing Practice 2

This was my second attempt for today.

It is extremely frustrating for me to struggle with things but I know this is just part of the process.  Another two or three hundred hours and there will probably be some significant improvements hehe.  All this to be able to draw a more cruel looking Domme and a more distraught looking sub.

I'm also guessing it's fairly obvious by now at my lack of knowledge/understanding of how women actually wear make-up :P

Drawing practice

 I've wanted to work on eyes, mouths, and facial expressions/shading.  This is a practice tracing to see if I could do the types of shading I was hoping for and learning how to detail eyes/mouths, etc. It didn't turn out very well but it is a slight improvement and it helped me understand some of the techniques involved.  I'll probably have to do a lot of these before I start figuring it out.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Haunting Thought: Special Cruelty

Queen Goddess at the blog I am Her Maine sub posted a recounting of sissifying her husband.

If you've read a lot of my posts since I started you probably know I have a great appreciation for mind-fucking and that "killer instinct" that a Domme has towards dominating her sub.  A few weeks ago I was reading one of the posts there and came upon this paragraph describing their first public outing (driving around).

I have quoted it here:
"The closer we got the more she fidgeted. I have to admit that she was pretty passable from afar and I felt pretty comfortable but poor little Daphne was sweating like pig. Her mouth was dry and she was white as a sheet. I said to her since you are so parched we need to get you something to drink and pulled into a drive thru and ordered a few ice coffees. I guess they may have got a glimpse of Daphne but by the look on her face you would have thought I had her laid out on the hood. As I pulled away I stopped for a minute and ran my hands over her cute little short shorts. Her clit was totally soft which told me I was getting the response I was looking for. This was for my enjoyment not hers."

I can say as a sub it is very difficult to describe exactly what kind of cruelty "does it" for me, but the last three sentences absolutely capture a very special type of cruelty that I have only experienced a couple of times in my life and reading this made me drift into subspace.

It's hard to describe and understand it but I think it's the mix of intense suffering under complete control... but hey, I'm not completely sure :)

Haunting Thought: Roles - Unconditional Love & Strict Disciplinarian

Several years ago I was watching the movie, "Best in Show" with my Mistress at the time and a particular scene came on that has stayed in my memory since then.

If you aren't familiar with that movie, it was done by Christopher Guest and it's basically a fake documentary about the dog show circuit.  It's basically "This is Spinal Tap" but with dog shows instead of a rock band.

In the movie there's a scene where they're interviewing a lesbian couple.  This stands out to me for a couple of reasons.  Firstly, the femme lesbian is wearing a fur headband/bonnet type of thing and when we saw it Mistress said she thought I would look good in one of those.  Secondly, the dialogue.

The dialogue from this scene reads as follows:
Christy Cummings: It's interesting, we have kind of a family dynamic going on here which pretty much mirrors what I grew up with, I'm the mommy slash daddy, the taskmaster, the disciplinarian.
Sherri Ann Cabot: Mr. Punishment over here.
Christy Cummings: But I also reward and Sherri Ann is responsible for the unconditional love.

These lines really stuck with me as to how I felt about the D/s lifestyle and the roles I envisioned.  She was my taskmaster/disciplinarian and granter of rewards while I was her unconditional love.  It was an odd day and I still blush when I think about it.

Emasculation Tool: Tears

If you have been active in the lifestyle for a while you have probably seen or been a part of a situation where a Domme made a sub cry.

While this might be fairly easy with the right kind of pain, what about making it happen in the absence of pain? 

Some comments by Clarence on one of my earlier posts as well as Lady Grey's post, The Big Take-Away got me thinking about this topic a bit.

I've known quite a few Dommes over the years that get off by making a sub cry (although it's not always guilt-free on her part).  Guilt aside, I think the act of a man crying at a woman's hand is one of the ultimate forms of emasculation.  I have been made to cry during D/s activities on more than one occasion and I've been able to understand that (at least in my case) a sub's tears are the last resistance before surrender. 

This got me thinking about how to make a sub cry without the use of physical pain.  This might take the form of severe chastisement/scolding, the threat of something bad/terrible, or the knowledge of loss before the actual sense of loss has set in.

Breaking down a sub with words is fairly easy and can often stray into the realm of dishonesty or verbal abuse, but all in all, it's a fairly straight-forward idea.  Making a sub cry via threat or loss takes a bit more creativity on the Domme's part.  Basically, it takes a pretty significant mind-fuck. 

Threats are interesting but in order to be effective they must be believable.  "I'll take pictures of you dressed as a girl and post them on the internet and email all of your friends and family" might be possible, but in cases of an LTR both parties will wish to protect some semblance of privacy so that might not be a credible threat.  The best threats tend to be based upon actual experiences.  If you have him do something terribly painful or humiliating, the threat of repeating that activity might be enough.  This might be a very severe beating or some public humiliation.  If you practice a chastity lifestyle this might also serve as fuel. 

If the past experience was bad enough, it should be ingrained in his memory and probably carry some mild post-traumatic stress symptoms.  If a Domme is consistently strict, the mere mention of this activity and the implication that it will happen may bring him to tears.  These tears are an act of resistance, if it was surrender he would likely just nod or answer in compliance. 

The downside with threats is that they will eventually have to come true or they will lose their power.  To keep them alive the terrible activity will have to happen often enough to make its threat scarily real.

The knowledge of loss vs. the actual sense of loss is a bit more complicated.  It's easiest to illustrate with an example.  Let's say as a punishment she informs him that he will not be allowed to orgasm for a year and pulls out a Neosteel (or similar) chastity belt.  His immediately reaction might be to beg and/or to weep and cry.  These tears are shed at the knowledge of loss and attempt to prevent it and are very different tears than the tears he may shed 6 months down the road when he is still 6 months away from an orgasm with no chance of release. 

The key to instigating this type of tears is to key in on things that are important to him.  Cruel?  Sure.  Effective?  Yes. 

Courting Tips: Avoiding the Second Childhood

This is my first "real post" in quite a while... the first time my head has been clear enough to write something... :)

The "typical male fantasy" when it comes to Femdom often overwhelms newer Dommes, especially in cases where a vanilla wife/girlfriend discovers her lover is a closet submissive that wants her to be Dominant. 

One of the biggest negatives that women often face is the thought that she will have to do too much and have to work too hard in order to live up to what she feels he expects of her (and what may have been portrayed to her in fetish fiction, websites, etc.). One example of this is the thought that her independent equal will be reduced to a helpless, childlike state.  While there are Dommes out there that love to micro-manage or act as a cold-hearted slave-driver unleashing her inner prison guard, in my experiences these cases are quite rare.  In most cases, the thought of having to instruct her sub on how to dress, what to eat, when to go to the bathroom, watch over him to make sure his tasks are completed, etc. are probably laborious and tedious. 

One of the keys in maintaining a healthy, long-term relationship is to recognize how to balance autonomous action with control.

In many ways a sub may be very much like a child.  A few examples might be:
-Limited freedoms. 
-Rules to follow.
-Household chores.
-Rewards and punishments.

-A curfew or checking-in.
-An allowance.
-Must answer to an authority figure.

However, unlike children, subs shouldn't need a baby sitter.  A submissive is an adult that should be fully capable of functioning independently if needed, the only difference being the parameters of freedom.  Basically, they must behave responsibly like an adult but without the freedom of an adult.  This breaks down the common male fantasy in many ways but makes things more realistic to integrate into a lifestyle.  It is also what separates children from adults.

If a Domme orders the sub to clean the bathroom, she shouldn't need to oversee him or constantly check-up on him to make sure he is doing a good job and not screwing around (unless cracking the whip while he scrubs gets her off). 

I think this is one of the keys to maintaining most D/s relationships, especially ones that are in their infancy.  It's up to the sub to relinquish freedom while still maintaining a true level of responsibility.