Saturday, June 5, 2010

"That Look" - Facial Expressions and Reactions

I've talked a bit in the past about sissies and fetishes for humiliation.

One of the things in public humiliation that tends to get to them in fantasy or reality is the reaction of women (or men).  While many may fantasize about playful interaction, in most cases a reaction from afar is the most they can hope for.  These might range from a double take to some playful whispers to a friend to outright disgust.  Overall I think that most of these reactions can't be faked... or at least not well. 

Having been humiliated in public before, I've found that things like a natural surprise, shock, smirk, or giggle just don't seem to represent well in a staged setting.  With this in mind, I can imagine it would be hard for someone who really enjoys public humiliation to be able to get off to humiliation porn.  Most pictures attempting to display shock or surprise end up coming off completely fake and unnatural. 

I'm not a huge fan of being humiliated publicly but I have stumbled upon one picture that did seem to get my blood pumping.  It's not perfect, but better than most attempts at looking shocked.

Femdom Dream Scenario - Legalized Male Slavery

I had some recurring dreams that popped up quite a bit back when I was reading a lot of fetish fiction.  I wrote a bit about depersonalization in my last post and it reminded me of these dreams.  While not all of them had all factors in common, I will try to recount as much detail as possible.

The scenario is a country where it is legal to own male slaves.  All men are considered lower class to women but some of them retain some form of autonomy, although their behaviors and actions are severely limited and they could easily lose their independent status.  In a few of the dreams all men were slaves.

Men who become slaves are processed by the state.  They are stripped of their names and given a number in its place.  Their bodies are permanently depilated leaving only the eyebrows and eyelashes (eyebrows help show fear).  They are tattooed with bar codes and their serial numbers in several spots on their bodies, and in a few dreams they are graded by quality (intelligence, physical appearance, etc.) which is also tattooed onto their body.  Each slave is implanted with a tracking chip and fitted with a chastity device.

Slaves are required to wear uniforms in a color that is dictated as the "slave color."  Slaves are distributed both for private ownership (either through a waiting list or auction) and those unclaimed by individuals are owned by the state.  In most of the dreams the uniforms for privately owned slaves and state slaves are different in style but they share the common color.

Slaves are prohibited from speaking and state-owned slaves wear a gag 24-7.  A woman may do anything she wants to a state slave or her own slave without repercussions.  Any slaves allowed out in public are required to be fitted with some form of restraint system and must have their faces covered.

I can go more in depth if anyone wants to know more but I'm thinking shorter posts might be easier to read.

This scenario is a bit sci-fi, but those were some crazy dreams.   


Depersonalization in BDSM (not to be confused with the psychological disorder) is an interesting fetish.

I've honestly never met a Domme that really enjoyed this with any subs she cared about.  That doesn't seem to stop many men from fantasizing about.  I'm guessing there are women out there who would rather enjoy a stable of depersonalized slaves serving their every whim, but chances are this too is probably relegated more to the fantasy realm.

What is it about depersonalization that makes it an object of fantasy?

From a sub's standpoint I can see it as a rather extreme form of submission where you are treated with indifference, often as a nameless, faceless servant or slave that can expect no pleasure from his Mistress.  Denial of pleasure is often that great, deep, "I don't understand this" fetish fantasy.  That's not to say that it doesn't turn me on a bit, but I still don't really get it since I know I wouldn't enjoy it if it were to happen for longer than a few days.  For some reason, there's a bit of a charge for many male subs at the thought of being 100% expendable and replaceable. 

From a Domme's standpoint I can see a few potential appeals.  Having a nameless, faceless sub to be tortured at any level of intensity guilt-free, alleviates some of the mental burden of wanting to perform acts of significant cruelty that she is unwilling to perform on a sub she cares about.  The fantasy of having a hoard of nameless, faceless subs that exist only to serve her can give an elevation to almost Goddess-like status.

So how often does this actually happen?  From my experiences, not often, but it can be used as a role-play scenario during a play session to a mild degree of success.  I can't say I've met anyone with a 24-7 D/s relationship who practices this regularly.

Any thoughts?

Loss of Sentimental Value

It's been a while since I last wrote.  I've had a lot to process emotionally and had a lot of other things on my mind lately.

Something that has come to mind lately is how I have changed over the years in terms of objects that have held sentimental value to me.  When I was younger I used to treasure everything and save everything.  Things that brought about good memories, things that reminded me of friends, family, etc.  I would save it all and it hurt me to part with it.

I'm not sure when exactly, but I think it was about ten years ago when things started to change for me, but I now save things habitually but then when I stumble across them while cleaning I end up throwing them out without a second thought.  I don't know why, but I think it has a lot to do with losing so many loved ones over the years and also being betrayed by those whom I had loved and trusted. 

I'm not sure if I've just never healed from the sad experiences I have had over the years but it's possible I have just gotten very good at moving on.  I really can't say whether or not this is a good thing, but it seems the loss of sentimental value gives me a bit of an empty feeling inside and reminds me of a time when I was willing to put all of my eggs in one basket knowing they would eventually be broken.