Thursday, June 24, 2010

A Question to the Dominant Women out there

I'm a bit curious as to how you react when you are around other submissive men.

If you were at a D/s-friendly function or gathering and there were submissive men serving the Dominants in attendance, how would you react towards them? 

-Formally?  Like a waiter or butler.
-Indifferently?  The fact that they are submissive wouldn't matter.
-Aggressively?  Submissive men are meant to be toyed with.
-Scornfully?  If they aren't your sub, no need to give them any respect.
-Other?  Something completely different or a mix of some of the above?

Would your thoughts be dominant even if your actions weren't?
Would it depend on whether or not they were claimed or not and if they were claimed, if you had the consent of their Domme?

Any and all input would be greatly appreciated.

Fur Fetish

As I wrote in my pseudo-biography, this whole thing started with a fetish for women in fur.  A fur fetish really isn't uncommon, it can be documented for a long time, especially with its roots tied to masochism with Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's novel, Venus in Furs.

It often appears that it's common for men to have a fur fetish than women (women might love it, but it's not of a "fetish" nature).  So what about those who would classify themselves as having a "strong affinity"?

For me, it's always been the fashionable aspects of it that drew me in.  I'm not a huge fan of the big shapeless 1980's power furs... I'm thinking more along the lines of more shapely items (sometimes belted/cinched) as well as a trim or accessory.  I have a strong affinity (borderline fetish) for women wearing many things.  I might be a bit cliche in these, but a woman in leather gloves, leather pants, sexy boots, hats, etc. all turn me on big time.  My fetish is a bit different than what might be generally termed as a fetish.  I love women in sexy boots (and have fantasized them a lot over the years) but I would never say, masturbate into a pair of sexy boots. 

I guess why I'm curious is that I've tracked down the majority of the blogs I follow and comment on via the interests selected in my profile (or other sites linked by blogs that shared common interests).  What shocks me is that I'm the lone user with "fur fetish" listed as an interest.  Why? 

All of my Mistresses have had a fur fetish.  Theirs was for wearing fur, they found the touch irresistible and loved its comfort.  It worked out nicely for my fetish for women in fur.

I'm not a fan of the cold but if something like the coat below could pass for anything remotely male I probably wouldn't mind it as much.  Anyone?

On a side note, part of the twisting of my fetishes that I have spoken of is that when I am ordered to wear something that is fur, little if any of it actually comes into contact with my skin (it's usually just an adornment).

Does anyone else have any favorite clothing items they find completely irresistible while worn by a woman?  Or if you are a woman, are there any favorite items that make you feel completely sexy or dominant?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Doing What You Love vs. Doing What You Hate

The comments left on my cruelty fantasy analysis got me thinking about a few things in general... one of which was the contrast of doing what you love and doing what you hate when it comes to Femdom relationships.

Love and Hate for a male sub
Doing what you love is the reason that you entered into this lifestyle in the first place.  When you love it, you do it well, with complete fervor and dedication.  It brings enjoyment and you relish in the experience, craving future experiences that bring about similar feelings.

Doing what you hate is a bit more complicated with many subs.  Any sub that gets turned on by humiliation probably has a bit of duality here.  They have what they hate/hate and they have what the love/hate.

With a love/hate situation, the action is unpleasant but it brings about desired feelings and outcomes.  You may hate queening but love that it gets your Mistress off hard.  You may hate being humiliated in public but love the arousal of the experience.

With a hate/hate situation things are truly unpleasant.  Persevering through hate/hate scenarios does little to bring the sub pleasure but it serves the ulterior purpose of increasing submission and devotion.

What this means to Dommes
Anything a sub loves can be treated as a privilege, even if it's a mutual pleasure. 

Anything that a sub has a love/hate relationship with can be polarized and used against him.  By polarize, I mean to find a way to force it to be treated as a situation he loves or one that he truly hates.  If tilted towards love it can be treated as a privilege by having him admit that he loves it even if he doesn't want to and increase his level of submission.  A hate situation can be brought about by adding some additional factors to the scenario to make sure it's unpleasant for him.  In these cases it should increase submission and can be used for taunting by citing previous experiences where it got him off.

Hate/hate situations can probably be reserved for punishments or whenever you feel his attitude could use some adjustment.

Love and Hate for a Domme
Well, there isn't much that has to be said about things a Domme loves to do, except hopefully she has those activities available anytime she wants them.

It is inevitable that a Domme will have to do some things she hates every so often.  These may often include certain types of punishments that have an adverse effect on her life, such as withholding contact, withholding affection, severe corporal punishment, etc.  It is odd, but in these cases a Domme should perform the hated action with fervor and commitment.  If this is a punishment she should go at the punishment full throttle since he is more likely to remember how bad it was and anticipate it will be worse if it happens again in the future.  Basically, it can serve as a deterrent for his future behavior. 

If this isn't a punishment but if the hated activity is a form of reward for the sub (something he loves), there's usually a way to put a spin on it to twist it into a love/hate activity for the sub (or even a hate/hate activity).  A ruined or denied orgasm, intense humiliation, long-term denial or severe punishment in its aftermath, etc. come to mind.  This will make him less likely to request an activity the Domme hates in the future.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Yay! 10 Followers

This is kind of a milestone for me but I finally hit 10 followers.

I know it only shows 9 (one of which is myself) but in my dashboard it says 11, which I'm guessing means there's a few private followers.  It's nice to know that there are some people out there reading.

A big thank you to everyone.