Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Public Humiliation Accessory - Bells

After the first panty experience I wrote about in my last post my Mistress wanted to increase my level of self-consciousness at all times.  The first thing she did was have a small jingle bell tied to a string that she wanted me to wear around my neck at all times.  If I was good, I could wear the bell under my shirt.  If I was bad, she would order me to wear the bell outside of my shirt.  Under the shirt gave a slight ticking sound when I walked, but over the shirt gave the full on jingle.  This weighed on my mind rather heavily when I was out and about, even when nothing else was involved.

Bells were also integrated into punishment.  Corner time with bells in order to keep me still.  If the bells jingled, there would be additional punishments.  This was especially bad if I had to sneeze or had an itch somewhere.

She had planned to make some bracelets/anklets, necklaces, cock ring, and clips that would have jingle bells on them for public humiliation.  e.g. having to wear two elastic anklets with jingle bells on them that would jingle with every step I took.  When she started to bring up the idea of dressing me up and humiliating me in public she wanted to add bells in order to draw the attention of more people if I was jingling loudly.  

Circumstances prevented these events from ever happening but they still manage to get into my head every now and then and it brings up a cache of emotions.

Humiliation Starts in the Mind

Much of the rush of public humiliation is a product of the mind. 

I can remember the first time that I was ordered to wear panties under my clothes when we went out shopping (panties have never been a fetish of mine and they still aren't to this day).  This was very early in my first D/s relationship.  I didn't want to do it but I got a warning of what would happen if I didn't so I didn't offer much resistance.  My mind was racing around about it and I was feeling incredibly self-conscious.  This was really one of the first major mind-fucks I ever received.  I stayed relatively quiet while we were shopping and after a while Mistress started whispering things in my ear. 

"She knows you're wearing panties."
"They can all tell you're a perverted panty boy."
"See that girl over there?  She's looking at you funny, I know that she knows."

Each time she would say something it would make me blush profusely and I was getting pushed deeper and deeper into subspace... even though I knew what she was saying wasn't really true, my mind was so clouded that it was as if she was speaking the truth.  The deeper I found myself in subspace the more turned on it made me and soon after she noticed the bulge in my pants and the comments happened more frequently and there were even some threats about shopping for more panties for me that day since she liked what it was doing to me.

Several years later while I was with my second Mistress I had a similar type of rush in the mind.  We had been out shopping and found a pair of pink gloves trimmed with pink fur that she was going to make me wear.  Later in the week she ordered me to go to the store with the gloves and find a matching hat and sweater.  Matching = must match perfectly.  Perfect match = I would have to bring the gloves with me.

This was ordered as a solo trip so I went off to the mall that had a few stores we would often shop at together.  I had the gloves in my coat pockets and when I first found something that I thought was similar, I found it was incredibly difficult for me to take the glove out of my pocket to see if it matched.  As I was about to do it for the first time I was hit with this incredible paranoia that was similar to the panties trip, it felt like I was surrounded by other shoppers and that all of them were paying attention to what I was doing (and assuming that I was shopping for myself and not for a gift).  I would kind of go to a secluded area to compare and I'm guessing I must have looked a lot like a shoplifter.  Luckily, the hat was easier since I found one of the same brand from the same collection and knew it was a perfect match.

I believe the trip was ordered since she knew I would feel that way and she asked me to tell her about the trip later.

Isn't it odd how there doesn't have to be any real humiliation to feel humiliated?

Monday, June 7, 2010

Dream Bondage Device - Cold Weather Depersonalization Mask

My fetishes are a bit ironic considering I hate cold weather, especially since many of my dreams end up being in cold weather scenarios.  Sticking to the depersonalization theme of the two recent posts, it got me thinking about a particular dream that involved a cold weather climate and many male slaves.

In this particular dream the slaves wore uniforms had their faces covered at all times.  Since it was cold they wore knit ski masks, but the ski masks they wore had no holes for the eyes or mouth so they were more like having a long stocking cap pulled over the head.  They also had a leather locking strap that would secure it around the neck and could be locked to a collar. 

If you remember back when you were younger and you would mess around with kids in school pulling each other's hats down over the eyes, while this blocks a lot of your vision, you can still see a little bit between the tiny gaps in the knitting (although it does have a severely limited field of vision).

Thus, the slaves in the masks could still see enough to perform most tasks but it made delicate tasks much more difficult as well as hindered their abilities to defend themselves from abuse or discipline from women. 

From a depersonalization standpoint, these faceless masks assisted in making the men appear "less than human" and anonymous (in a replaceable/expendable sense).  It also removed their facial expressions and in conjunction with a gag, it would remove most indicators of pain levels when they would be disciplined through corporal punishment.   

While I'm sure these could be in any color, my dreams tend to gravitate around certain trends and the masks were usually some feminine pastel color with a huge, dorky fur pom pom on top. 

I can draw some sketches if people request that but at the same time I tend to enjoy the exercise of visualizing something based upon a textual description.  Everyone seems to come up with their own unique interpretation and that is often way more fun than spoiling it with a drawing.