Friday, December 17, 2010

Punishment Log

A recent posting at the blog Forever Hers got me thinking a bit about some experiences I had with my first Mistress.

Since our relationships suffered from the same ups and downs that any relationship goes through, we weren't always in the right mood to keep the D/s dynamic going all the time, but she had a method of keeping track of my behavior when things were both "on" and "off." 

Early on she had instituted a punishment log, which was a journal she used to record my infractions in, especially during the early periods of my training.  In its original form each time I broke a rule it would earn a check-mark in the book along with a date/time and what I did to earn it.  At some point in time she would decide to punish me and each check mark was "worth" two spankings with a paddle (e.g. 20 strokes would cross out 10 check marks). 

At first she used this for several reasons:
-To make sure no infraction went unpunished.
-To weed out bad habits on my part.
-To avoid feeling guilty when she wanted to hit me.

Some early reasons for a check mark were things like not addressing her as Mistress or forgetting to ask permission to go to the bathroom. 

As our relationship progressed and the "new car smell" faded away our moods began to vary across a more normal spectrum and the amount of time she wasn't in Domme mode began to increase.  Some very stressful things also happened that ended up causing a great deal of strain on our relationship.  Around this time the punishment log began to evolve a bit.

While it still encompassed the normal rules during our D/s times she began to incorporate it into the more vanilla times as well, basically citing any time she felt my attitude drift away from the priority structure of our relationship (which is a fancy way of saying that she started recording the times that I was acting selfish).  Also, instead of simply using a single check mark she began to write out values for things she felt were worse offenses.  e.g. if we got into an argument and I pissed her off she might value that at 50 spankings.  I had to be really careful at times like these since she tended to get a bit trigger happy with the log book when she was angry.

Overall I think it was a pretty good idea to use the log.  It was quite cathartic to her and allowed her to let go of her anger when she knew that I would be punished for it later.  At other times she would let me know I had earned a mark and it would be enough for me to realize my attitude was poor and turn things around before it got worse. 

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Bondage Devices: Puppy Restraints & Symbolism

I'm not a fan of puppy play but early on in my journey into the BDSM lifestyle the idea was introduced to me and the foreign idea of puppy restraints were described.  It took a while before I actually saw them and although they were pretty much exactly like the mental picture I had of them, I was still a bit fascinated by them in a couple of different ways.

For those who aren't familiar with puppy restraints, there's two primary devices that generally encompass puppy play.  The first are the actual puppy restraints.  These consist of a leather strap that wraps around the cock and balls.  On the strap are a one or two O-rings.  There are also a pair of wrist and ankle cuffs.  Each pair of cuffs is connected by a chain and the chain is threaded through an O-ring on the cock and ball strap.  The general purpose of the restraints is to keep the sub on his knees, unable to extend his arms or legs.  He can crawl but if he extends one arm (or leg), the other arm (or leg) is pulled closer to his balls.

Basically, he can't stand up, nor use more than one arm at a time.

The other common bondage devices of puppy play are fist mitts.  Fist mitts are a pair of leather bondage mittens that buckle around the wrist hold the wearer's hands in a closed position and restrict the thumb from being used.  The idea being that the wearer's hands become useless and uncoordinated, limiting any attempt at ordinary hand usage.

It took a bit of thought for me to discover just what drew me in so strongly to these items even when I have no desire for puppy play.  I soon realized that it was the original descriptions I had heard long before seeing them and the symbolic association they held that had my mind racing so out of control.  I'm sure some readers will say I am over-analyzing this but that's just how my mind works :)

With puppy restraints (aside from just using them for puppy play), it's the idea that to use one limb, you must give up the other limb.  Freedom can't be taken granted.  Attempted motion beyond what you are allowed will cause pain or discomfort to your genitals.  I've found this to be consistent with my views on the sacrifices one makes in submission.  Any gains are met with equal or greater loss.  In turn, the Domme can continuously inflict suffering and a physical manifestation of the give/take nature by simply placing her sub in the restraints for a period of time.

Fist mitts hold allure on a different level (in a way that isn't puppy play).  Why would a Domme put a sub in fist mitts?  Because she can.  His life just became infinitely more difficult trying to do anything and your hands just basically became stumps.  A fun idea if you enjoy cruelty.

I've learned from experiences that I prefer strict limits to the push and pull of the sliding chain.  I've had situations similar to the puppy restraints as well as motion limited with a chain run through a collar, belt, etc. where extending one hand pulls the other hand back.  I'm not sure why exactly but if faced with these options I tend to prefer bondage that involves second one:

-A 12" chain run through a ring, each end connected to one wrist restraint.
-Each wrist connected to a ring by a 6" chain. 

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

It's been a while...

Sorry I haven't posted anything for a while.  I was out of town and then sick and then super busy with things and I haven't had all that much time to think about things, write about them, or draw them.  Not much going on in terms of femdom stuff aside from it getting really cold and Mistress has brought her furs out.

I have some ideas for future posts and drawings that I'm mulling over right now.

For now, here is a drawing that I finished tonight.