Wednesday, November 9, 2016

How this is changing me

On some levels I have to wonder if the lack of dynamics in real life actually push me farther down the rabbit hole.

Denying my submission is fruitless.  Manifesting it in ways that I can is potentially dangerous at the rate it can change me.

Dynamics eventually grow stale, but it takes a lot of trial and error, guessing and checking, and the like in a lifestyle situation to reach the point of stability and then time and repetition to make it feel stale.  As I remain limited to fantasy and writing fiction, I am finding that I naturally delve into some rather intense and deep/dark versions of the dynamics and scenarios.  The problem I see here is that my mind goes through them without stumbling.  There is no learning curve.  There is no checking in and mutual feedback to ensure things are progressing in a positive way.  All of that gets bypassed immediately into its final form... a form that can be scary enough that it might take five years to reach that in real life.

My brain takes me there in an instant and it doesn't take long for that to become stale.  It evolves.  The problem is that there isn't that process of growing and building... in fantasy it happens in leaps and bounds... it reaches the next plateau without the pleasure of the journey and the climb.

I terrify myself in some ways as to where this takes me and the speed with which it happens.

Monday, November 7, 2016

Analyzing the Fantasy: Ski Trips

I know that I'm currently "stuck" in arc 7 on a ski trip.  I've also been a part of a handful of Femdom ski/cabin trips that didn't quite pan out as expected but they were fun to plan nonetheless.

Aside from the obvious allure of my attraction to women in fur, I believe there's quite a bit going on in this type of fantasy.

I've never really flushed it out before but the ski trip fantasy tends to hit on quite a few Femdom fantasy levels for me and since I'm awake and feel like writing I figure it wouldn't hurt to take a deeper look at it.  A few things that come to mind:

1.  Fur.  I'm not going to elaborate here, but I can't write about this without it.

2.  Skiing is for the most part, a rich person's sport.  While just about every northern area will have a hill of some sort they allow people to ski down, in general, resorts and resort towns tend to be fairly secluded and expensive.  For someone to say, rent a cabin in Aspen for a week with friends would require a lot of disposable income and a lot of disposable income tends to play very well into Femdom fantasies.

3. Excess.   With #2 in mind and based upon my personal experiences with family members and others that have the disposable income to take said vacations, in the days before strict baggage restrictions (and/or if driving is the method of transportation), ski trips tend(ed) to be full of excess.  Not only is there the equipment involved, but also the clothing.  Again, drawing from experience, I've found it isn't uncommon for someone taking said trip to want to bring an absurd amount of luggage.  With one real life example in mind, I can envision a person that doesn't want to be seen skiing in the same clothing two days in a row as well as having specific ideas for what they will wear while going out, relaxing in, bedtime/mornings, as well as travel days.  So for a 7-day trip with 5 days of skiing, it doesn't seem too far-fetched to picture someone with 2-3 ski outfits, 5 sets of accessories, 3-4 warm but fashionable afternoon shopping in town outfits, 5-6 evening outfits, 5-7 warm/comfortable lounging outfits, robe/pj's/slippers, and 2 travel day outfits that are meant to show off yet be comfortable at the same time.  That is a lot of luggage for the sub/slave to handle as he caters to her whims/desires.

I do know most women aren't this way, but this is fantasy.

4. Comfort extremes.  She lounges in front of the fireplace sipping wine.  He freezes outside shoveling snow and chopping firewood.  Isn't that the way it should be?

To make it even more daunting, she can make the extremes more/less bearable.  Is he allowed a coat?  Gloves?  Hat?  Boots?  Take away any of those and it can be made incrementally worse very easily.

5. Isolation.  When you are out in the middle of nowhere and the sun goes down, what is left to do?  This scenario is prime for sex and play.  If it's an isolated cabin you don't have to worry about neighbors.  If it's far away from home there is a lot safer potential for public exposure. 

I'm sure I've missed a few things but it just seems like this fantasy seems to play very well in a Femdom context.

I can't say I've been big on helmets...

I grew up in the last generation of kids that didn't wear helmets and climbed around on rusty and jagged metal playground equipment and I have the scars to prove it.

With that in mind, I've never been big on helmets... until I stumbled across these.  I enjoy the idea quite a bit and it's almost enough for me to preach safety.


Nothing New

I would love to say that things are different.  I am finding ways to get by but I'm still "out of tune" with this side of myself.  I am still trying and will hopefully find my way back soon.

As a random note, now that I'm not making regular posts the RSS feeds seems to update almost instantaneously.   Yay for technology.