It's been a while since I last wrote. I've had a lot to process emotionally and had a lot of other things on my mind lately.
Something that has come to mind lately is how I have changed over the years in terms of objects that have held sentimental value to me. When I was younger I used to treasure everything and save everything. Things that brought about good memories, things that reminded me of friends, family, etc. I would save it all and it hurt me to part with it.
I'm not sure when exactly, but I think it was about ten years ago when things started to change for me, but I now save things habitually but then when I stumble across them while cleaning I end up throwing them out without a second thought. I don't know why, but I think it has a lot to do with losing so many loved ones over the years and also being betrayed by those whom I had loved and trusted.
I'm not sure if I've just never healed from the sad experiences I have had over the years but it's possible I have just gotten very good at moving on. I really can't say whether or not this is a good thing, but it seems the loss of sentimental value gives me a bit of an empty feeling inside and reminds me of a time when I was willing to put all of my eggs in one basket knowing they would eventually be broken.
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