Tuesday, September 13, 2016


I hate this feeling... like I'm trapped between states.  I'm blocked from subspace and having to turn to hobby obsession to fill the void... which makes the daily grind bearable but also keeps me distant from where I would like to be in  my head. 

I crave the feelings that fuel my writing.  I crave to write since it means I have those feelings.  The knot in my chest is starting to build. 

Sorry for this pointless ramble.

I have the rest of Arc 7 and the start of Arc 8 in my head... I just can't seem to get into actually writing it.


  1. Your blog post "Random Morning Ramblings" is the only recent post that somewhat describes schedule changes that - I assume - are resulting in your inability to reach subspace. Is T aware of this? Is she a reader of your blog? Have you discussed your current state with her? Does she care that you are blocked? I'm not clear on where she stands with your writing or your current confusions. Could you clarify?

    1. Hello, Lady Grey.

      It is a mix of my schedule, T's schedule, and just overall mood that has deteriorated. For the past several years I had roughly 3-4 hours of private time per day. The changes have reduced that to about 1 hour per day and it happens at my peak exhaustion time (immediately aftet work/traffic).

      I am not comfortable with trying to talk to T about this side with her current state. The last two times I have spoken to her about it, within a week she used it to directly attack me and hurt my feelings.

      That being said, she's not in a position where she cares that much about it and if I bring it up it will lead to a fight.

      She read my blog years ago but does not currently.

    2. This doesn't sound at all healthy, fur. I hope things get better soon. Take care.

    3. Thank you, Lady Grey. I hope they get better as well.