Something I have read quite a bit of recently (as well as over the past few years) are writings from submissives and sissies that have been married for years without ever communicating their desires to their wives or have only decided to communicate them recently. In many of these cases they had these desires for years before they were married and have either been keeping them a secret for the duration of the relationship or have recently decided to "drop the bomb" and talk about it.
I always feel a little sadness when I read these stories. I can understand someone wanting to keep these desires a secret and that is unfortunate that they feel the need to do so. I have learned that these desires never go away and the more they are neglected, the stronger they are when they return. For the one with the secret, they are faced with a the choice of either living unfulfilled in their marriage as is or having a serious discussion with their wife.
In these cases I feel a lot of sympathy to the wives. Many times they are blind-sided with a three-pronged attack: 1. Their husband has been unfulfilled for years. 2. Their husband has some off-beat desire they may or may not approve of. 3. The wives are faced with the choice of changing their behavior or getting a divorce and shattering the life they have built together. It must be an awful feeling... almost like a bait & switch.
Even if a woman makes changes to her life and happily embraces her new role as head of the household, I cannot help but think that the experience of finding out will probably haunt her for a long time.
It's easy to blame a lot of outside factors for how this comes about: society's taboo treatment of sexuality, the conservative roots of our nation and slow transition to sexual acceptance during the 20th century, millennia of gender roles, etc. but in reality, it's just hard for a lot of men to be honest with their partners about their sexual desires. It's a scary thing to talk about... letting your partner know your deepest fantasies... risking rejection and fearing the worst. While it might seem like a mountain, in reality, if she really loves you, she will accept you and those things about you (or at least tolerate them). However, the longer you take to communicate those feelings, the more hurt she will be when she finally discovers the truth (and knows you had been hiding it from her the whole time).
The advice I will give to guys is, be honest with her. She deserves it. If you wish to be truly happy, you owe it to both of you. If she drops you on the spot, she just freed you up to pursue a more fulfilling relationship. If she accepts those parts about you and is willing to work towards something that will make both of you happy, you just cemented a relationship built on love and honesty.
While you might have a lot of fear and anxiety in opening up, remember that this will be nothing compared to the hurt she will probably be feeling. Be prepared to be superman and treat her like a Queen to make it up to her while she heals emotionally.