Friday, May 28, 2010

Subs on Loan

Lady Grey asked about my thoughts on subs being swapped or loaned out to another Dominant with the Domme's approval, so here it goes...

In the past I've thought a bit about being loaned out or exchanged temporarily to serve another woman.  I think some of it falls into "typical male fantasy" area, under the fantasy pretense that the woman he is loaned to will be stunningly beautiful and absolutely perfect in the way she dominates.  Basically, it's pretty common in a grass is greener sense.

Getting that fantasy out of the way and looking at it from reality, there's a few different ways of looking at it.

Scenarios a Domme might use:
-Sending her sub to an uber-strict Domme so that he can learn appreciation for his own Mistress.

-Sending her sub to a D/s situation that isn't sexual in the slightest.

-Sending her very loyal sub to a Domme in order to press his loyalty to its limits.  
-Sending her very loyal sub to a Domme that is an overt tease in an effort to give a conflict between his heart and his genitals.

-Sending her sub to a Domme for specific training that she doesn't wish to partake in.
-Sending her sub to a much less strict Domme as sort of a vacation.
-Temporarily trading him for another sub.

As I am making this list I'm starting to see some of the reasons for instigating this.
1.  Wanting the sub to be treated more harshly than she wishes to treat him.  Make him dread the thought of serving a different woman and focus on improving his behavior.
2.  Wanting the sub to undergo mental distress at serving someone else (while knowing if he does poorly she will be upset). 
3.  Wanting the sub to learn full appreciation for his current situation.   Shatter the typical male fantasy with cold, harsh reality.

4.  For her own amusement.
5.  To show off her sub to another woman friend.  Let him display his best behavior.
6.  Rewarding him with a more casual form of servitude for the quality of his service.
7.  Making him jealous knowing that another sub is serving his Mistress.

From a Domme's perspective, I would be very wary if he was gung ho about serving another woman (if even only for a few hours).  This seems to raise questions about loyalty and he might be wishing things were closer to his perfect fantasy. 

That being said, I would say it will probably only benefit the both of you if he hates the idea of it and knows the prospects of it will not be enjoyable.

From a sub's perspective, I think a change might be exhilarating, but a sub that truly wishes to serve another woman (even on loan) is probably looking for another Mistress or is seeking a particular level of depersonalization or abuse.  In the former case that is a bad sign, in the latter case that might be understandable but uncommon.

Personally, I've enjoyed the idea of serving a group of women with my Mistress there or being "tag teamed" by her and another woman, but rarely have I wished to serve another woman unless I really wanted to be with someone else.

Any thoughts?


  1. As always, your views are quite interesting. This is a big subject and deserves a blog entry of its own on various aspects, but let me post a few comments here:

    Referring to your list of items (1 through 7), I'd put #4 on top, followed by #3, then the second sentence in #1 (don't need the first sentence), followed by #2 with the word "mental" removed. I'd throw out numbers 5 and 6 completely and #7 is more of a by-product than a reason for swapping.

    As to a D/s situation "that isn't sexual in the slightest", I doubt that is possible as long as the male has a functioning penis (including a caged one) and has chosen to be a sub.

    An "uber strict" D can come in handy in certain cases, and a tease D is pretty much every D I personally know. If the sub is wearing chastity, it's no problem for the lending D and a lot of fun for the teasing D.

    "That being said, I would say it will probably only benefit the both of you if he hates the idea of it and knows the prospects of it will not be enjoyable." I would heartily agree with that statement, and would expect the lendee D to make certain that such was the case .

  2. Thank you very much for the comments, Lady Grey, they are always appreciated. I'm sorry it has taken me a while to write back.

    I know that much of my list won't apply to all Dommes. Those were the best scenarios I could come up with at the time.

    As for the non-sexual situation, I was envisioning a more formal role of servitude, along the lines of a maid/butler that is usually considered of lesser status. I could see certain scenarios where that might apply.