I finally got around to commenting on Lady Grey's post of The Appeal of Disinterest (that also featured one of my drawings as an example) and I had a few thoughts come together that I was able to connect to many aspects of my kink.
I know I've probably written something almost identical to this in the past but if I did, it's not something fresh in my memory so please forgive me if this seems redundant.
I've spent a lot of time over the years trying to figure out why certain fantasies "do it" for me sexually when I damn well know that I wouldn't want a lifestyle like that. I'd also wondered why I rarely connect with others that seem to share the same fetishes that I do. I titled this post as the "abused slave" fantasy since that was the first thing that came to mind but I will cover a few others in this regards.
Picture this fantasy that can be found in thousands of Femdom fetish fiction stories around the internet:
A man is kidnapped and kept against his will by a beautiful, cruel, rich Mistress that takes him as her live in slave and forces him to do whatever she wants while she beats him unmercifully and he's never allowed an ounce of joy or freedom.
If a random assortment of 100 male subs read this story and got turned on, there is likely a major difference between why they got turned on. There are extreme slaves out there but they are usually quite rare, so I would assume that out of those 100, 4 of them were subs that were truly cut out for the lifestyle depicted in the fantasy. The remaining 96 probably wouldn't be, so why are all 100 of them masturbating to the same story?
I think the root of this divide is the act vs. the environment. For everyone that gets turned on by a scenario, a handful have a fetish for the activity and the majority have a fetish for the situation surrounding the activity. I think that many subs may feel like they have a larger kink-interest base than they really do because of this. I think this is one of the reasons that many subs end up appearing "fake" when confronted with a real situation: they want the woman capable of doing such things but not the things that she actually does.
In many ways I think I have been uncertain as to why particular activities have turned me on. I know with a post during my last pegging picture I had wondered why I drew it (and why it turned me on drawing it). I hate the activity of being pegged. I enjoy the humiliation and submission it brings on and the idea of a woman willing to strip me of my dignity. Forced feminization has a similar role within me. The act of crossdressing does nothing for me, the humiliation of a woman making me dress that way is a huge turn on. Chastity is something I hate but the idea of a woman forcing it upon me is a turn on.
I guess when I really break it down I don't have that many "true" fetishes. I know I was able to realize these characteristics about individual activities but I don't think I ever connected it as a whole.