Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Exploring Fantasy: The Girly Girl Domme, the Power Domme, and The Lipstick Lesbian

A current drawing I am working on got me thinking a little bit about things lately, especially in terms of what things have turned me on while working on them.

The Cheerleader drawing brought forth something I haven't done much of in drawings, that being the "Girly Girl" in a dominant role.  I don't have anything against this fantasy, but I guess it's something that just doesn't come to mind automatically for me.  I will admit, the idea does give me a hard-on.  From my experiences this fantasy is very common for sissies.  Dreaming about the "popular girl with her friends" type of dominant: she's a bit spoiled, a bit selfish, cute, bubbly, playful and probably with a nasty wicked streak.  I can understand the allure here as those characteristics often lead to mild dominance even in vanilla settings.  I do think these types of fantasies tend to revolve more around humiliation (and possibly blackmail) fantasies and less about pure D/s types of fantasies.  e.g. the sorority girl tricks the loser guy into being her slave, forcing him to wear panties and give her oral sex.  While this does arouse me, I think I'm a little too seasoned within the lifestyle to really see this as something realistic.

In contrast, I think I tend to over-represent the Power Domme in my drawings.  She's cool, capable, confident, and demanding.  If she works, she's successful.  If she doesn't work, she rules with an iron fist.  She dresses sleek and a sophisticated sexy and dominance is just a way of life.  This too wreaks of idealized fantasy. 

I think it's easier to polarize in fantasy and drawings than to try and capture a realistic Domme.  The woman that's a little bit girly and a little bit cool.  One that carries girly feminine charms along with a serious mean streak.  I think most women fall comfortably in between the girly girl and power Domme.  They don't need our approval, it's the subs that need their approval.  While my visual stimulation might be peaked by unrealistic fantasy idealizations, my mental stimulation definitely flows with my last statement.  You accept her as she is but she only accepts you as what she wants you to be. I think that thought arouses me to my core.

Moving on a bit...

Every time I do a lesbian drawing I feel a bit like a jackass.  I've had quite a few lesbian friends over the years and I do have to say that my masturbation fantasy lesbians aren't really anything like actual lesbians.  I know this, but I'm still drawn to this ideal.  If you aren't familiar with the lesbian lifestyle, you might not be aware that most lesbian relationships involve something resembling gender roles.  You have the butch (masculine lesbian) and the femme (feminine lesbian).  While many lesbians aren't overtly one or the other, if you happen to befriend them it shouldn't take too long to figure out if they're the pitcher or catcher. 

It's hard to make any generalizations about lesbians since you'll find as many variations as there are stars in the sky, but I'm about to make a couple of them.  Femme lesbians tend to be slightly less feminine than most straight women and butch lesbians tend to be significantly less feminine than most straight women (one of my lesbian friends once told me the joke: Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?  A: single).  You can read this as my admission that any lesbian-esque portrayals I might draw are more likely bisexual women at best as they're way too feminine to be realistic.  Most lesbian couples I have met tend to be much more emotionally and personality balanced than most gay male or straight couples.  That is, while the femme isn't necessarily submissive, she's rarely dominant unless that's her natural personality (and a dominant femme often matches up better with a dominant butch).  While there might be more butches that are a bit more dominant, I tend to think of them more as tops than dominants, and in any case, it would be a rare case for a butch to involve a male in any type of activity that might be deemed even the slightest bit sexual.  With more masculine and aggressive butches, it's probably more likely that they would kick the shit out of a sissy for being an insult to women than force them into any type of submission.
So... I guess I'm wondering that even though I know how the world works and some of the people in it, why my fantasies still delve so far into the realm of imaginary beings.


  1. At root, I think lesbians are fascinating because it's women having sex without men. We can indulge our voyeurism without having to see another fellow's heaving buttocks.

    Then there's the masochism/submissive angle. They are women who don't *need* men. How frustrating to be the ignored slave while two beautiful women make out.