I know I just made a post about the dangers of unrealistic fantasizing, but if you've read my blog for a long time you have probably seen that I do enjoy analyzing and trying to get to the root of particular fantasies and how/why they get to us.
I probably seem like a broken record with this... but this is further exploring the Lesbian Fantasy.... which I realize I have done several times already here:
http://furcissy.blogspot.com/2010/07/lesbian-fantasy.html
http://furcissy.blogspot.com/2011/01/revisiting-lesbian-fantasy.html
http://furcissy.blogspot.com/2011/03/cuckold-and-multi-sub-scenarios.html
I know there are a number of women out there who were the last woman their ex-boyfriend dated before coming out of the closet. I'm sure they are cases (although much less documented) of men being the last man their ex-girlfriend dated before becoming a Lesbian.
I'm not one to consider being a cuckold... with another man. Maybe it's my inherent distrust of men, but the thought of Mistress having sex with another man repulses me and it's something that in all likelihood would cause me to leave the relationship. I don't mind her playing with other subs, especially those that have a fetish for doing things that I'm not a fan of (e.g. cleaning, being beaten until the skin breaks and bleeds, or having their rectum ravaged by a giant strap on).
I have thought about what kind of psychological impact there would be if Mistress were to go full-on Lesbian (and not just bi) and cite a reason along the lines of me being inadequate as a lover or her being so fed up with men because of me that she went to play for the other team. Of course, in this romanticized fantasy version I would be kept on as a submissive but replaced as a lover.
I think I kind of view this as being beyond emasculation and is probably the death of the male ego.
I think the appeal on some level is that you are kept at arm's length from what you want but can never have again. The suffering and distress of that position is one that appeals greatly to my subspace. You can keep tacking on extras that push it deeper and deeper: chastity with no hope of release, no underlying love/care to serve as protection from real damage, forced fem as a caricature of femininity, having your income confiscated so that you have no independence or freedom, etc. The other big (fantasy) kicker is, of course, that her Lesbian lover will harbor disdain towards me and be as cruel, if not more cruel than Mistress.
Could I be happy in this situation? I guess it depends upon the other factors. Happy probably isn't the right word since I would surely be unhappy, but at the same time if the situation was as perfect as a fantasy it would probably be a tough situation to ever leave even if I was unhappy.
I am well-aware that this situation is just a fantasy. If a sub was that inferior as a lover and person, she would almost certainly give him the boot as soon as she found a new lover (nor would her lover likely be okay with her keeping a male ex around). I do find it particularly arousing though.
We did attempt to role-play this scenario in the past but had trouble finding a compatible femsub.
I think there's also an element of getting to watch two people at it, but one of them not having to be a man. My Whips and Stockingtops fantasies are entirely based on this idea.
ReplyDeleteOne of my best friends (Clarice) actually lives this fantasy, or I guess from your point of view, allows her sub/slave to live this fantasy. She is married to him, takes all of the money that he earns, has a series of lesbian relationships which he observes and fully accepts, and gives him no sexual fulfillment besides that which he obtains from waiting on them, being constantly humiliated, and bearing the brunt of their sadistic needs, which are often considerable.
ReplyDeleteHe appears to be deliriously happy with the relationship, as is Clarice. Clearly he's a pain freak, clearly he's a full fledged masochist, and it's all a bit beyond my understanding. However, if everybody involved is happy, who am I to blow against the wind? Think you'd really like to try it, Fur?
Lady Grey,
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine what I would do if actually confronted with this situation and I do often have Clarice in mind as a benchmark when writing posts like these.
I do believe in these situations where a Domme's interests reach far beyond the scope of what most subs could actually handle that the subs do probably have a tiny bit of pull on the parameters of the relationship. e.g. would he be as okay with it if she went through strings of male lovers? Probably not.
With that being said, I do believe there are some parameters where I could be "convinced" to go along with it on a long-term basis. I would give my chances 50/50 on being able to handle it and my guess is that I would either have a mental breakdown after a couple of months or be able to sufficiently surrender mentally and emotionally to resign myself to such a role. Whether or not I'd be happy isn't something I can imagine... as I think the debate is more about if I could exist/survive.
Toss in some fur and I'd probably be brought to tears if forced to make a decision.
I have always been curious about Clarice's situation. I have a gut feeling that she truly appreciates her husband even if she normally references him with disdain. I think she probably knows he would be difficult to replace with someone who could handle things in the long-term and keep her lifestyle sustainable, so even if she doesn't value him as a person, she probably does value his role in her life.
Giles,
I am a fan of those stories. I think what separates those from normal voyeurism is that there's always an underlying desire to be the object of affection/attention even if it will never happen. That longing mixed with the inevitable realization/despair that it won't happen is what triggers my subspace.
Like you, I would never consider being a cuckold to another man. But I love to fantasise about being married to a beautiful, dominant woman, who dresses in designer lingerie, stockings and stilettos.
ReplyDeleteMy Mistress/Wife is 9 years older than me, and She laughs at me when I try to make love with her. Mistress introduces me to a friend of hers, a very pretty girl of about my age. After humiliating me as "inadequate", and ridiculing my sexual performance, Mistress cuckolds me by inviting the girl into our bedroom. Mistress then tells me to bring up a bottle of chilled champagne and two glasses.
I enter our bedroom with the drinks, and see my Wife making love with her.
jamie, I think you are very lucky then!! *wink*
DeleteThank you, jamie.
DeleteI never considered being a cuckold at all. But what I never considered either is that as soon as my chastity cage is locked my Mistress tells me, that she thinks she'll keep me as her lesbian lover - because I am a better lesbian, than I was as a male lover.
ReplyDeleteIt's not easy to accept that, to understand that... and she didn't say it to humiliate me, she meant it as a compliment... my wife/Mistress doesn't want my dick ever again... and she wants to teach me, to become her lesbian bitch.
I have to accept that I can either stay with her and become her lesbian Sissy or leave and be a lonely Sissy...
Kisses,
Sissy
(PS: it's a little hard to write these lines... because I knew immediately that I'm more lesbian than a man)
I have a feeling your situation would speak to me very clearly on a certain level.
DeleteOne of those "the man in me is crying but the sub in me is cheering" type of things.
this is exactly what I feel... the perfect words for it... may I use this line in a blog entry?
DeleteSure.
DeleteI'm a tgirl....searching for a lipstick lesbian to live with......sigh.......it's a long road, my current rg girlfriend doesn't want to live with woman.....I'm not losing my clitty ,balls yes, .....love this blog xXxX
ReplyDeletePhillipa
Sod the anonymous.....chat about it to any LL's out there xxxxx
Delete