Friday, November 23, 2012

The Deep submissive

There exists a submissive type that is a bit different than most.  I call them the "deep submissive."  These types of subs are usually easy to spot but are easily misinterpreted and misunderstood.

The deep submissive is an interesting one because they display characteristics of several different submissive types but seemingly all at the same time.  They often display the yearnings of a service submissive, the devotion and selflessness of a slave type, but still have the sexual desires of a fetishist.  The difficulty in understanding them is that they may display some of the characteristics of a different submissive type but they are usually fundamentally different in their motives and often don't share any other traits with that type.

At the core of the deep submissive is the intense need to please and obey the woman he submits to.  To say that he would do anything for her probably isn't too large of an exaggeration.  However, he is not a doormat.  He has a strong sense of self and lots of creative energy, he just focuses himself intently on her needs.  He is also willing to change himself if it will make her happier.  He has the ability to adapt and will act independently when it is appropriate or submit to strict rules and guidelines when that is appropriate.  Basically, he doesn't need to be told what to do but if he is told, he obeys to the T.

His fetish is for actions and symbols that display power inequalities and his devotion to his Domme.  It is highly likely that simply wearing her collar will arouse him since it is both a proud symbol of ownership by his Mistress, but also a symbol that he is below her and exists to please her.  He responds well to rituals and actions that make him feel connected to his Domme and these too will probably arouse him.  There are a few activities where he may respond with arousal in a way that gives him the appearance of having a fetish for the activity, when his arousal really comes from the display of power by the Domme over him.  These may include but are not limited to:  CFNM, forced feminization, chastity, restraints, corporal punishment, pegging, and protocol restrictions.

In many cases the line becomes so blurry that a deep submissive won't even know why he is responding sexually to the activity.  He may mistake the activity as the fetish rather than his response to the symbolism of the activity.  What is so interesting is that this deeper connection can make him respond sexually to a very large number of activities, even ones he finds unpleasant or strongly dislikes.

Deep submissives tend to love their Mistresses with a very intense passion and these types of subs are usually married to their Dommes.  They are kind of a Swiss Army Knife of the submissive world.  They understand the roles they must fill in her life and can adapt at any time.  They are a friend, lover, confidante, servant, plaything, sex slave, and whipping boy all in one.  They can easily converse with their Dommes on topics of shared interest, they have a sense of humor, they want to share rewarding life experiences with her.  They will respond to her beck and call with gusto, submit as her source of amusement, pleasure her sexually, and are willing to suffer for her.

It is sometimes difficult for a Domme to understand what makes a deep submissive tick (for the same reasons deep submissives may struggle to understand).  They key is always to look at the symbolic nature of the activities and there's a very good chance that the stronger the display of power, the more connected the sub will feel and the more he will become aroused.  Another interesting result is that the farther a Domme pushes a deep submissive's limits, the stronger his love and devotion to her will grow.

Deep submissives are complete people but may appear incomplete or desperate if they are single.  It is easy for them to become depressed or agitated when single because they have so much love to give that they feel lost when there is no one there to receive it.


  1. Well written - as usual - and extremely accurate, especially when you discuss the "phantom fetish" effect whereby an arousal can be mistaken for a fetish. Also on the mark is the sentence "What is so interesting is that this deeper connection can make him respond sexually to a very large number of activities, even ones he finds unpleasant or actually dislikes."

    My husband hates being whipped, for instance, but his erection belies this fact and supports your contention. There are many other examples that squarely put him in your "deep" submissive category, and you're quite correct in pointing out that this type of submissive is best in a marriage situation. Just one more reason for my husband to be thankful for....ME:)

    1. It is very good to hear from you, Lady Grey. Your comments and compliments mean a lot to me.

      I love that term, "phantom fetish," I hope you don't mind if I use that from now on. I hope you are doing well. With Christmas approaching it makes me wonder if Karl is researching which species of tree is the least likely to shed needles or if you might be researching which type of tree is the most likely to shed needles :)

  2. Actually, Fur, Karl meekly brought up the subject of investing in an artificial tree. I laughed so hard I thought I might pass out. I'm still laughing, as a matter of fact, as I begin my search for the biggest tree I can find. Such a silly boy.

  3. Thank you, Lady Grey. I'm sure that must have amused you quite a bit :)

    I'd almost feel bad for Karl but I don't since it's a worthy trade off. I would guess he will have learned this year to never be certain one has accounted for ALL of the needles.