Monday, November 26, 2012

The subspace of the deep submissive

A lot of things have become clear in my mind since I wrote my entry on the deep submissive.  Actually, a lot of rather confusing feelings and responses now appear to make sense in how they are linked together into a system.  This system that I plan to explore in this entry is the subspace of the deep submissive.

As I described in the earlier entry, deep submissives are often misunderstood since their subspace is difficult to understand.  In most cases it's viewed simply that an erection = he enjoys it and flaccid = he doesn't enjoy it.  The psyche of the deep submissive while immersed in subspace is rather complicated, as his physical enjoyment (PE), emotional fulfillment (EF), and sexual response (SR) can be detached from one another and may or may not react together depending upon the D/s environment.

When a deep submissive experiences true pleasure it means his physical enjoyment, emotional fulfillment, and sexual response are connected.  Basically, this happens when it feels good, he feels good about it, and it turns him on.  An easy example of this is when he has pleased his Mistress and she allows him to have sex with her.

What makes the subspace of the deep submissive more complicated is when those things do not coincide.  This is mainly caused by the depth of the deep submissive's subspace.  When a deep submissive is immersed in a deep subspace, his world undergoes a fundamental change.  He undergoes major shifts in morality, ethics, and priority structure in his mind and these have a major effect on his EF component.

Here is a very brief and incomplete list of the rules governing a deep submissive's subspace to illustrate the idea:
The world is perfect when she gets everything she wants.
Everything that pleases her is right, everything that displeases her is wrong.
The submissive is valuable when he pleases her and worthless when he displeases her.
Pleasure is a gift granted by the Mistress.
Punishment is always justified.

The deep submissive will shift to a system of logic that reinforces the rules of his subspace.  This may sometimes give the appearance of doormat behavior, but in actuality it is his submissive pride dictating an almost impossibly high standard of service (his EF): he received the honor of being chosen by her so his service must be perfect at all times to prove he was the worthy choice.  Living under these rules brings a high level of shame and guilt upon any failure, and a failure is any time he wasn't perfect or she wasn't perfectly pleased by him.  This is also why a deep submissive is able to thrive under extremely strict rules since they give him a level of conduct to aspire for and he feels proud when he exceeds her expectations of him.

A deep submissive can accept and adapt to any new rule as long as it makes sense within his new logic base.  If she thinks his service suffers for a couple of days after an orgasm and she decides he should no longer have orgasms because of that, he may be disappointed but he will find a way to believe that is the correct course of action and is plenty fair since it will ensure he can better serve her.  If she physically punishes him for even the smallest of infractions, he will believe he deserved it and willingly accept it, sometimes welcoming it since it will improve his future performance (e.g. One spanking is more effective than ten lectures) and ease his guilt over failing to serve perfectly.  The sub's logic in this state can justify nearly anything that she wants to do.  If she chooses to beat him out of the blue, he can accept if it is to "remind him of his place," "to keep him focused," or "prevent future transgressions."

Oddly enough, this method of coping can often ruin true pleasure since his PE and SR are met, but his EF may disconnect if he doesn't feel like he deserves it.  Similarly, he may display masochistic behaviors during a punishment since his EF and SR drive his subspace when he feels like he deserves punishment even though he experiences zero (or negative) PE.

Dealing with this type of sub can be difficult for some Dommes since they sometimes do not understand the depth that his subspace reaches and how his mind works during those times.  Often the crueler and less tolerant she is, the better he will feel.  This is because he feels good about performing with a superb attention to detail and he knows that when he pleases her, she values having such a competent sub.  It will even make him love her more since he is thankful that she is willing to bring out the best in him, even if that involves pushing him to his absolute limits.  If it seems like he wishes to be denied pleasure, that is not really the case, he just only wishes to receive pleasure when he feels like he has earned it and deserves it.

Relationships of this nature may appear abusive to the outside world, but in most of the cases, the sub is sublimely happy and wouldn't trade his lifestyle for the world.  This also doesn't mean he is a doormat, since if she wants to enjoy his company, he will be that, if she wants to have vanilla  fun, he will be that.  What it does mean is that he can be whatever she wants him to be at any given time. 


  1. Isn't this deep subspace different from the in the moment subspace?

  2. Not really. I think just about any fetish requires a mental component to be involved in order to trigger a sexual response. This just puts greater weight on the emotional component, especially how it responds to symbolism.

    What most people refer to as in the moment subspace is just endorphin rush, sort of like what the end result of skydiving or piercing results in. I don't really believe in this since I feel there is still something deeper that draws them to the D/s activity in the first place.

    The thing with the deep submissive is that you may find activities that do not give them a sexual response in the moment but will give them a sexual response when they recall the event in memory. In these cases they will often have a sexual response in future occurrences of that activity.

    Also, I would say that most submissives are not wired this way.

  3. Giles,

    The closest parallel I can think of for you is based upon some of the recurring themes from your writings. I am assuming that during your writing you get at least somewhat aroused at least some of the time. Where does this come from? Some of the themes that show up include: women are pleasured at man's expense, this is the way the world believes it should be, the belts are permanent (or close to it), the situation is permanent (or nearly irreversible), and the male still gets aroused although those attempts may be futile.

    Those themes all have a great psychological impact and it is that impact I am alluding to.

  4. Ah, you're referring to what I think of existential fantasies. For example,the *idea* of an existence being a real Roman Slave or trapped in a permanent chastity belt turns me on.

    However, the reality of quiet service or chastity is mostly a deep relaxation punctuated by wild turn ons.

    The disconnect is fascinating because I enjoy the fantasy and the reality for different reasons!

  5. So, rereading your comment:

    Normal subspace is really just a physical reaction. There's nothing subby about it except how you get there - runners and mountaineers, e.g. experience similar highs.

    However, it was the mental component that made the sub choose the activity in the first place.

    In deep subs, this mental component is so strong that an erotic situation is not always reqired...?

  6. Giles, I don't believe in the physical runner's high definition of subspace, because, quite frankly, I never experience subspace that way.

    My subspace is always driven mentally and emotionally. Mentally, the environment and its symbolism always trumps the activity for me. Emotionally, the desire to please in those times is so strong that all I can do is endure. I don't really like to use the term mental, because the sexual response isn't a rational one.

    I think there are times when existential fantasies and actually fantasies overlap very well and times when they do not. In most cases, nearly all overlap comes from the themes behind the fantasies, which I believe are the driving forces of deep submission.

    The last question can be true but depends heavily on the environmental variables, even if it is only the idea of them. Take an example of something mundane like cleaning the bathroom. "She ordered me to clean the bathroom" probably isn't erotic by itself. If you are to clean the bathroom while she watches over you and cracks the whip, this may become directly erotic. I think a deep submissive can find nearly as much eroticism from somewhere in between. E.g. There will be a strict punishment afterwards if the cleaning isn't done to her standards. The looming threat triggers a level of subspace without the presence of anything tangible. There are other environmental variables that can be manupulated to increase this without the presence of direct dominance, such as restraints or a maid's outfit.

    Does that make sense?

  7. In light of this, I think that Subspace really refers to three mutally supporting experiences - and this is a very useful discussion by the way:

    1. "Traditional" Subspace. Let's call it BOTTOM SPACE (for now).

    It's all about brain chemicals. You can get a similar effect through a conversion experience (see W Sargant "Battle for the Mind") or through various extreme sports.

    However, there is an erotic element fuelled by fetish, fantasy and/or erotic action. The desire to play this kind of game usually comes from some fantasy or fetish, but need not (see Slow Masturbation as described in Joy of Sex).

    In Bottom Space, the subject is overloaded with sensations, stoned on lust, malleable, but essentially passive.

    2. An aspect of what you call Deep Subspace - let's call it KINK SPACE.

    Similar to Porn World, or the world inhabitted by people in a state of religious fervour, but real.

    Everything is eroticised because each part of the experience implies the rest of it.

    So, cleaning the kitchen is normally dull. However, it implies that I am a slave, that punishment may be forthcoming, and that more erotic tasks await, and thus becomes erotic.

    3. Finally what I call "slave space", which is the other half of your Deep Subspace, let's call it LOST SPACE.

    Lost Space is like Stockholm Syndrome or Folie à deux and not of itself erotic. The subject loses all perspective. The roles become socially and psychologically real.

    So, some more bottomish subs experience Bottom & Kink space only. I seem to experience mostly Kink and Lost space, with moments of Bottom Space. From what you're saying, you only experience Kink and Lost Space.

  8. That sounds like a very accurate assessment.

    I would also say there are a large number of men that experience bottom space but are not submissive.

  9. Glad it passes muster with you! I think I will post it on my main blog.