Lady Grey's most recent posts at http://womanincontrol.blogspot.com/ have gotten me thinking a bit more about the progressive escalation of D/s over time (I have blogged on this a few times over the years). Something became readily apparent to me tonight in regards to my own submissive desires and how they have evolved over the years.
I train rather easily in the D/s lifestyle. I have a good memory, high attention to detail, and can be reasonably intelligent at times. This has been one of my submissive strengths over the years but it has also had major drawbacks. If you as a sub are able to follow rules and instructions to the T, you don't give a Domme a reason to punish you. If your D/s relationship is based around sensual interaction for good behavior and physical punishment for bad behavior, a Domme that enjoys inflicting pain upon the sub is faced with the choice of denying herself something that gives her pleasure or punishing and attempting to justify the choice. With newer Dommes, choosing the latter can lead to guilt and that guilt may reduce her pleasure in the moment or lead to negative feelings in its aftermath. Being that I am not a masochist, a Domme can struggle with the "because I can" or "as a reminder of your place" reasoning behind punishment.
As much as I dislike pain, as a submissive I crave the fear and exhilaration of intense D/s interaction, even if it involves pain. By being mistake free in service (or as close as possible to this), I inherently reduce the intensity level of the relationship (often hurting the desires of both Domme and sub). I frown upon subs that act out or misbehave merely to get attention. I think this type of behavior is childish, selfish, and out of focus. So where does a sub go from there?
I think the answer to that question can be seen in my own fantasies of deeply sadistic Dommes.
-A Domme that will enjoy punishing after perfect service because she enjoys the additional mental anguish a sub goes through when he doesn't deserve it.
-A Domme that will ensure a sub will make mistakes or cannot serve perfectly and punish him for failing while taking pleasure in his added suffering from knowing he cannot succeed, e.g. being ordered to dust on top of tall shelves with your hands locked behind your back.
-A Domme that believes perfect obedience is to be expected and should not be rewarded.
This type of situation is unpredictable and frightening. It can also lead to a deeper level of subspace where you surrender to the situation.
From a more realistic perspective, this most likely would be rather dangerous and fall into the "be careful what you wish for" category unless there is a strong and loving bond between Domme and sub. That being said, I'm not sure if this desires is a strength or a weakness: the willingness to lovingly submit and endure through it all vs. my D/s relationships will eventually evolve to where I crave this, regardless of her wishes.
The D/s has been absent for a while now in my relationship and I feel like it's driving me crazy.