Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Random Morning Ramblings

It's been about a month since T had a major schedule change that has changed up my sleeping hours and available privacy.  I've also been working more lately by going in a couple of hours early. 
The end result is that I've been getting up a lot earlier and going to be significantly earlier than I have over the past few years.  I'm exhausted a lot earlier in the day and if I wait until my previous "normal" times to write (11pm-2am), I'm too tired to write anything.

I'm definitely getting more sleep.  I have a lot less time to reflect and write.  I have far fewer thoughts.  I can't tell if this is a good thing or not.  On the upside, I'm not up during the normal times where I feel my emotions peak... these are the times when the bad feelings can rise up but they are also when I really feel and understand the joy of the day.  It feels a bit like I've stopped feeling as sad but the byproduct is that I'm no longer feeling as happy either. 

When my thoughts don't swirl around over various topics my mind doesn't really seem to reach the places that were the source of my analytical writing.  When I don't reach the depth of my emotions I don't resonate with the feeling that are at the root of my personal writing. 

I won't comment as to whether this is good or bad.  I'm sure to the outside world it seems healthier to get normal hours of sleep and not think about what swirls in my heart.  Inside things feel a bit strange. 

In case you were wondering why I've cut the majority of my writing to fiction with the occasional emotional outburst (such as early last week)... the thoughts and feelings behind it all just aren't there for me to draw from.  The Sea of Thoughts isn't calling to me. 

I know that many care not for fiction or fantasy but that currently is what drives me in my writing and this past arc has REALLY challenged me to explore my thoughts and feelings in regards to the content. 

On a side note, it only took blogger 12+ hours for my last 2 posts to show up in the reader...

I wouldn't mind going back to making other types of posts... but I will probably need some inspiration to do so.  e.g. if anyone has any ideas they would like me to write about feel free to leave a comment or drop me a line. 

6 comments:

  1. Maybe it isn't good or bad, it just...is.

    Surely The Sea of Thoughts will storm again. :)

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    1. Thank you, Misty.

      I am seeing it through as is. Hopefully things will clear up in my head.

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  2. Considering the prodigious amount of writing you've done in the last few months, it's not strange at all to find yourself in a sort of lull. Don't force things and put undue pressure on yourself. Just let it happen, and don't create unrealistic schedules in your mind. Relax a bit, reflect on things, and the "muse of analytical writing" will return, I have no doubt.

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    1. Thank you, Lady Grey.

      This is the first time in a long time my sleep schedule has resembled normal. I think Im a wee bit worried at the changes I can sense are happening.

      Take care.

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  3. I am happy to see you getting a healthy amount of sleep. Just like any change it will take some time to adjust to this. I am sure that those ideas will be begging you to type them out soon enough. My advice is to take a few moments to just relax every day. With changes in schedule it can easily get overlooked. For me, I take this time in the shower, with the door locked. Its the one part of my day where phone calls, emails, chores, and the whole world can just wait. Your relaxation time will likely be different than mine, just make sure you are meeting your needs (like eating, sleeping, talking to people).

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    1. Thank you, Miss Lily. I will give that a try.

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