Tuesday, August 24, 2010


It's been a long time since I was searching for a Mistress but it always gives me goose bumps when I read a profile of a Domme that announces "No masochists or pain sluts.  I don't want you to have any enjoyment when I hurt you."

When I was looking I only once wrote to a woman like that and it was asking the question that I know could make me unhappy, and that was if it would be working towards a loving long term relationship.  I didn't get a response and I still wonder why that kind of mindset "gets me" in just the right way even though I know that it probably wouldn't be the right choice.


  1. Sometimes things just make us tingle because the fantasy is hot, but it doesn't necessarily mean that we are designed (genetically, emotionally, or mentally) to undertake or hold up under those circumstances in real life. I know I have a few fantasies like that - where it wouldn't be physically possible for me to do what I can in my mind or it's not something that thrills me when the moment presents itself. Still, the fantasies are great to have and the fact that you know that it wouldn't be the right choice for you and don't just throw yourself into something that wouldn't necessarily be something that could help you grow, as a person or in your submission, is good and it's wise of you not to go pursuing situations that could cause you to be unhappy without a healthy balance of positive emotion mixed into it.

  2. Wise words from Mistress Wykkyd. Jumping into the attractive fire of a fantasy can be quite dangerous. It's difficult sometime to know your limits when faced with something that gives you those goose bumps. I'm not sure that it's possible to understand a mindset such as you describe. I've known the feeling myself under different circumstances, and it's probably best just to suck it up and walk away, despite the almost nauseating desire (and I mean that literally) to step into that flame.

  3. Thank you Mistress Wykkyd and Lady Grey for the comments.

    It was probably around 6 years ago when I was last "on the market," but that was also when I found myself strangely drawn towards that ad. I'm glad I'm not looking anymore... it always stresses me out to no end. I've always mulled things over very heavily before contacting a Domme and I seem to get about a 40% response rate (reply in any form).

    I guess something I do need is an understanding of the mind fuck and that ad stands out in my mind as "getting it."

    Mistress and I have been together for four years now and I hope things will keep on truckin'.