I have a few half-typed posts saved in the que but I didn't have time to finish them.
I will be internet-less for a few days coming up so I figured I'd give a quick link that I thought was an interesting read.
On Giles English's blog he posted a wonderful write-up of breaking down the roles in a BDSM scenario. While I'm guessing it's heavily focused from a writer's standpoint this can be especially useful for understanding why you like what you like, and more importantly, why she likes what she likes (and why it may not be what you like). I'd highly recommend giving it a read.
If you aren't familiar with his work, his novel, The Chastity Belt, is available for download here.
This was the work that first gave chastity some kind of fetish appeal to me when I read it years ago.