Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Analyzing the fantasy: Permanence

I'm pretty sure I've written about this at some point in time but here it goes again.

As I find myself looking for ways to motivate myself to get back to finishing up fs01, my mind has lingered around the fantasy land and continues to circle around the theme of permanence.

I find this theme is very common in D/s fiction, especially shorter works.  On its surface level it seems a bit odd that would crave or fantasize about irreversible events that either cannot be undone or imply some form of finality, but looking at it from a "wank fodder" perspective it becomes easier to see just what lies at its core.

While we may gloss over submission as something we do willingly and with enthusiasm, I have come to believe what what really taps into the nature of subspace is a bit contrary to that.  If everything a submissive did was something they truly wanted to do (e.g. they would choose this action ahead of an alternative), would there really be a need for power/status/dominance?

I believe that in many ways we portray D/s as more of a symbiotic relationship where actions from both parties run parallel with a predetermined focus (e.g. the Domme's pleasure/benefit).  While I agree much of what constitutes Femdom relationships consists of this and this is the foundation of "consent," I believe the differences in power/status bring about a completely different dynamic.

While many submissives (myself included) thoroughly enjoy serving and pampering a Domme, the key points that tug at my submissive heart strings are this:  She never has to do what she does not want to do.  She can make me do what I do not want to do.

That is not to say that a submissive cannot resist the Domme's wishes, it's that the sub faces consequences for their resistance.   At its basest level, I believe that is the essence of the power inequality, especially if the price for saying no is worse than going along with things.  This is the underlying tone that frequently goes unspoken... as it's just how things are.

Personally, I find that one of my strongest subspace triggers falls here; the idea that she can impose her will upon me and I may experience discomfort or displeasure that I cannot control.  This notion is where I find permanence to have its strongest pull.

If we list off some common permanent Femdom fantasies:
"You will NEVER have another orgasm."
"You will NEVER have another erection."
"You will NEVER be allowed inside me again."

In most Femdom relationships, none of these are very attractive realities for the Domme.  Having their sub lust for them is a big part of sexuality and feeling attractive.  Having him desperate to cum is frequently entertaining and a source of control.  None of these are really conducive to lifestyle D/s, but they do manage very well in the wank-fodder fantasy realm because they are intense themes that hit squarely in the heart of subspace. 

These are things that a sub (likely) holds very dear and would not want to lose.  Since fantasy doesn't have a long run, there's no need to dwell upon the long-run future, despair, and possible depression that results from it.  There's no need to worry about the deterioration of physical intimacy or loss of self-motivation.  In fantasy, all we need to look at is the emotional wound, the sense of immediate loss, and the drastic display of power that just occurred.  He is nothing.  She is everything. 

I think under those terms it can work as a short-run fantasy but it requires ignoring a lot of long-term ramifications.


  1. I agree. Your "NEVER" list is definitely more wank-fodder than something that occurs in reality for the long term. I have known Femdoms who invoked the last of the items on your list, but all three are much more likely to occur in a "visit to the Dominatrix" world than in a permanent relationship.

    1. Thank you, Lady Grey.

      I do find it interesting how fantasy often takes orgasm denial and control to such extremes, especially when I rarely meet a Domme that doesn't enjoy teasing a sub's genitals.

      It is also interesting how incorporating that essentially ends the fantasy.

  2. I would hate to see you end the story unless, of course, you start a new one. ;)

    1. Thank you, Misty.

      I am not sure what the future will hold for it. I figure tying it off in a way that it can have a sequel but still provides some emotional closure may be my best bet and is what I am exploring in my mind.