Saturday, November 19, 2011
Drawing weakness
I realize just how limited my drawings are by the fact that I suck ass at drawing backgrounds. I know I should practice/learn how to draw them... but it is of relatively little interest to me, especially when they will take as long or longer than drawing the people in the drawings.
This is where I feel I've hit a wall.
My all-time goal for drawing was to be able to draw a woman sexy enough to masturbate to (sad but true). I feel like I'm reaching that point (although it's not perfect) but I'm stuck deciding if I want to develop a more complete ability or just keep working on what I enjoy doing more.
This is where I feel I've hit a wall.
My all-time goal for drawing was to be able to draw a woman sexy enough to masturbate to (sad but true). I feel like I'm reaching that point (although it's not perfect) but I'm stuck deciding if I want to develop a more complete ability or just keep working on what I enjoy doing more.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Earmuff Headphones
It seems the headphone in the earmuff idea has finally worked its way towards the women's fashion style of earmuffs (and not just the unisex behind the head fleece kind).
I doubt they're the noise-blocking kind I wrote about a while ago in a post on sensory deprivation but oh well.
The previous post about this is located here.
I doubt they're the noise-blocking kind I wrote about a while ago in a post on sensory deprivation but oh well.
The previous post about this is located here.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
By popular demand...
So... the past few shopping drawings have been very well-received. I had been trying to envision a few situations Kimberley has been in and how they might feel.
With that in mind, if I had to title this one it would probably be "Kimberley's Nightmare."
I did a caption but realized it was almost becoming a story by itself so I figured I would post both since the caption drawing is very cluttered.
With that in mind, if I had to title this one it would probably be "Kimberley's Nightmare."
I did a caption but realized it was almost becoming a story by itself so I figured I would post both since the caption drawing is very cluttered.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
A drawing for Kimberley
I changed to a slight recoloring on the woman in black as her flesh-tone was a bit off compared to the rest of them.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Some differences in D/s relationships
Some comments on the blog From Vanilla To Kinky - Our FLR Journey led to a few lengthy responses on my part when there seemed to be a fundamental difference in points of view between the blog authors and some readers.
The text that I wrote about this and was quoted on in their most recent post is:
"In this realm of D/s you'll find two different types of relationships. The first is one rooted in BDSM protocols. In these types of relationships they are generally established on a mutual grounds of consent and the rules primarily apply during periods of play (although they often bleed over into more aspects of life). In this situation, hard limits are often seen as an absolute law that aren't to be broken without prior consent from both parties. Many of the established rules were designed to protect female submissives from maleDoms that might otherwise cause significant damage to them.
The second type is one that exists outside of these rules (you can call them what you will, Femdom, 24-7, FLR, etc.). In these types of relationships, the consent is to submit and you are at the mercy of whatever that submission may entail. Things like safe words and hard limits are more like a suggestion (than a boundary) to the Domme, one that she may consider but will ultimately have the final decision on.
I have been in both styles of relationship and they are quite different. I am guessing that you probably viewed your relaxing of a hard limit as a meaningful gift, a symbol of trust catering towards something she was wanting to try out.
In a BDSM-rooted relationship, you are correct and there are probably many Dommes that have come up through the BDSM community ranks that would find that gesture endearing.
In a 24-7 sense, it was overstepping bounds. You cannot gift what is theirs to take. Taking pride in giving such a gift is something that would probably get smacked down... hard."
I wanted to elaborate a bit on that and I figured it would be better to post that here rather than hijack their comments for me to drone on about something that is no longer related to the post.
I was re-reading the quoted text tonight and while I know I generalized (there's way more flavors of relationships than just those two, but those two illustrated what needed to be conveyed), I feel I can strip it down another level.
The first type of relationship can probably be better described as:
A D/s relationship based upon mutual consent towards mutual pleasure. Both parties agree to the terms of the relationship and both parties seek to create pleasure for each other.
The second type of relationship can probably be summarized as:
A D/s relationship based primarily upon her pleasure. The sub's pleasure is either coincidental (kink overlap), incidental (situational fetish), or granted by the Domme (usually out of love/consideration) but it should not be expected nor be a focal point.
The second type might seem rather harsh, but it seems to be special types of relationships that make it there. Some are relationships that evolve to that over a long period of time where the Domme gradually becomes more dominant and the sub gradually becomes more submissive. Others often involve VERY dominant women that have a great deal of experience within the lifestyle. Their subs know what they are in for and can usually only hack it if they have a deep submissive nature and a lot of kink overlap.
The text that I wrote about this and was quoted on in their most recent post is:
"In this realm of D/s you'll find two different types of relationships. The first is one rooted in BDSM protocols. In these types of relationships they are generally established on a mutual grounds of consent and the rules primarily apply during periods of play (although they often bleed over into more aspects of life). In this situation, hard limits are often seen as an absolute law that aren't to be broken without prior consent from both parties. Many of the established rules were designed to protect female submissives from maleDoms that might otherwise cause significant damage to them.
The second type is one that exists outside of these rules (you can call them what you will, Femdom, 24-7, FLR, etc.). In these types of relationships, the consent is to submit and you are at the mercy of whatever that submission may entail. Things like safe words and hard limits are more like a suggestion (than a boundary) to the Domme, one that she may consider but will ultimately have the final decision on.
I have been in both styles of relationship and they are quite different. I am guessing that you probably viewed your relaxing of a hard limit as a meaningful gift, a symbol of trust catering towards something she was wanting to try out.
In a BDSM-rooted relationship, you are correct and there are probably many Dommes that have come up through the BDSM community ranks that would find that gesture endearing.
In a 24-7 sense, it was overstepping bounds. You cannot gift what is theirs to take. Taking pride in giving such a gift is something that would probably get smacked down... hard."
I wanted to elaborate a bit on that and I figured it would be better to post that here rather than hijack their comments for me to drone on about something that is no longer related to the post.
I was re-reading the quoted text tonight and while I know I generalized (there's way more flavors of relationships than just those two, but those two illustrated what needed to be conveyed), I feel I can strip it down another level.
The first type of relationship can probably be better described as:
A D/s relationship based upon mutual consent towards mutual pleasure. Both parties agree to the terms of the relationship and both parties seek to create pleasure for each other.
The second type of relationship can probably be summarized as:
A D/s relationship based primarily upon her pleasure. The sub's pleasure is either coincidental (kink overlap), incidental (situational fetish), or granted by the Domme (usually out of love/consideration) but it should not be expected nor be a focal point.
The second type might seem rather harsh, but it seems to be special types of relationships that make it there. Some are relationships that evolve to that over a long period of time where the Domme gradually becomes more dominant and the sub gradually becomes more submissive. Others often involve VERY dominant women that have a great deal of experience within the lifestyle. Their subs know what they are in for and can usually only hack it if they have a deep submissive nature and a lot of kink overlap.
Monday, October 17, 2011
A drawing for Kimmy
I had a caption in mind but this falls more into the portrait category. It would have read something along the lines of "I got a matching one for you, too."
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Push & Pull: The Mind-Fuck and Conflicting Emotions
This is another post related to some things I wrote recently on Marc and Cleo's blog.
I've recently had a few chats with a sub that has very similar fetishes to mine: being force feminized and humiliated with a lot of fur involved. In our chats he mentioned something that really hit home with me and that is the idea of conflicting emotions.
I've felt conflicting emotions many many times but I've never described it so simply. It's such a simple description but I understood exactly what he meant and it took so very few words.
This is really the core of the mind-fuck: to put a sub in a position of intense conflicting emotions of both extreme arousal and extreme emotional discomfort.
Very few Dommes really do this well, probably because it really requires a wicked cruel streak to get off on watching your sub having a huge erection while crying tears of shame. If it doesn't get her off, she has no reason to do it (well), and I just don't know that many Dommes that really enjoy it.
As a sub, I guess I'm a bit twisted. It tends to be the emotional conflict that turns me on and deepens my subspace more than the activity itself. Without the humiliation, forced feminization is meaningless to me. I have no desire to be a woman, dress as a woman, or be able to pass as a woman. I do desire to be forced to half-assedly dress in some women's garments and be mocked for how stupid I look. I would be terrified if any "outsider" saw me, but being seen and laughed at by a (female) "outsider" turns me on.
I guess this shows how far I have come to terms with myself as a submissive. I'm no longer embarrassed to state that I am a submissive and enjoy kinky activities (almost all of our vanilla friends and my parents are aware of this). There was a time when the threat of having this exposed was mortifying. As I have come to accept my submissive nature as a part of me, the fear is gone. On its basic level the idea of being exposed as someone who enjoys bondage or body worship can no longer be used as a mind-fuck without a lot of creativity.
As I constantly write about, I'm not comfortable with nor readily accepted myself as a sissy. I doubt I ever will. This will probably leave me open to mind-fucks on this subject for the rest of my life. Part of me is at peace with that because I hate to think what the next step would be if I needed something even more intense to get me off.
As to what inspired the subject matter of this post...
The sub I was chatting with gets mind-fucked a LOT. He referenced being forced to try this on at a store as the only time he was brought to tears.
To this day, one of my biggest mind-fucks was having my Mistress at the time make me try this on in a crowded department store. I was so humiliated I thought I was going to throw up and/or cry but I managed to tough it out with a bright red face, unable to speak or lift my eyes from the ground.
I've recently had a few chats with a sub that has very similar fetishes to mine: being force feminized and humiliated with a lot of fur involved. In our chats he mentioned something that really hit home with me and that is the idea of conflicting emotions.
I've felt conflicting emotions many many times but I've never described it so simply. It's such a simple description but I understood exactly what he meant and it took so very few words.
This is really the core of the mind-fuck: to put a sub in a position of intense conflicting emotions of both extreme arousal and extreme emotional discomfort.
Very few Dommes really do this well, probably because it really requires a wicked cruel streak to get off on watching your sub having a huge erection while crying tears of shame. If it doesn't get her off, she has no reason to do it (well), and I just don't know that many Dommes that really enjoy it.
As a sub, I guess I'm a bit twisted. It tends to be the emotional conflict that turns me on and deepens my subspace more than the activity itself. Without the humiliation, forced feminization is meaningless to me. I have no desire to be a woman, dress as a woman, or be able to pass as a woman. I do desire to be forced to half-assedly dress in some women's garments and be mocked for how stupid I look. I would be terrified if any "outsider" saw me, but being seen and laughed at by a (female) "outsider" turns me on.
I guess this shows how far I have come to terms with myself as a submissive. I'm no longer embarrassed to state that I am a submissive and enjoy kinky activities (almost all of our vanilla friends and my parents are aware of this). There was a time when the threat of having this exposed was mortifying. As I have come to accept my submissive nature as a part of me, the fear is gone. On its basic level the idea of being exposed as someone who enjoys bondage or body worship can no longer be used as a mind-fuck without a lot of creativity.
As I constantly write about, I'm not comfortable with nor readily accepted myself as a sissy. I doubt I ever will. This will probably leave me open to mind-fucks on this subject for the rest of my life. Part of me is at peace with that because I hate to think what the next step would be if I needed something even more intense to get me off.
As to what inspired the subject matter of this post...
The sub I was chatting with gets mind-fucked a LOT. He referenced being forced to try this on at a store as the only time he was brought to tears.
To this day, one of my biggest mind-fucks was having my Mistress at the time make me try this on in a crowded department store. I was so humiliated I thought I was going to throw up and/or cry but I managed to tough it out with a bright red face, unable to speak or lift my eyes from the ground.
Constant Pressure - Chastity Experiences
We've been having some great discussions over at a newer blog called From Vanilla To Kinky - Our FLR Journey. One of the topics we touched on recently included chastity.
I know that I've written about that before but Marc and Cleo have been stopping by and reading so I felt it was more appropriate to elaborate on this subject here rather than clogging up their comments on a topic that was a minor part of the discussion.
As my long-time readers know, I have some limited experiences with chastity. I've never worn a CB for an extended period of time but I have worn them from time to time and we own three of them. Chastity is a subject that brings up many mixed emotions in me and it's complicated to the point where I barely understand it (but I will try to in this post). I am not really a chastity enthusiast but there are some special things it is capable of doing.
One of my ex's (after we were no longer together but we remained on decent terms) developed a super hardline approach to chastity. "All male subs should be kept in chastity all the time. They just can't stay out of trouble without them," is what she said to me during one of our chats. When I asked if they should be allowed out at all, and if so, how often, she responded, saying once or twice a year is more than enough.
My first reaction was "oh wow?!" both at the fact that she said that and even more so that I had an erection. Would I want that? No. Could I handle that? Probably not well. So what was it about it that got me going? The thought of being with a woman that would be so strict and cruel that she would enforce that upon me, half under the guise of keeping me well behaved yet mainly rooted in the idea that she would love watching me suffer in a chastity belt.
After thinking about it for some time, I realized I actually agree with her reasons. Chastity belts can have such a powerful effect and they hit home in many different ways.
-As a preventative measure from touching without permission.
-As a deterrent for misbehavior: behave or you'll stay locked up another week/month/year.
-As a symbol of ownership: she who has the keys owns what's inside.
-An increase in submissive awareness: every time you even attempt an erection you'll remember.
-An easy target for a mind-fuck: to him, release might be the most important thing in the world but for her, it probably doesn't even matter so she can mess with it all she wants.
-A perpetuating submissive loop: it turns him on that she controls him, but he can't get it up which reminds him that she controls him, this turns him on, etc.
I'm sure I could rattle off at least 20 other things but it's probably obvious what I'm alluding to. Basically, there's lots of benefits from enforcing chastity.
There are subs out there that are completely capable of exerting enough self-control to not "cheat" by playing with themselves. However, this situation usually involves constant D/s interactions keeping him in subspace so that he won't drift into fantasy and rub one out. If your day to day lives have factors preventing such interactions from happening regularly, he will probably slip up at least once in a while. For many Dommes, once is still too many.
Even under circumstances where he is completely obedient in this regards, a chastity device is a big slap in the face. "I know you're obedient but I'm going to lock you up anyways."
A few quick notes before I proceed. I have a very tight scrotum and tender skin, both of which make budget-friendly devices (under $400) very uncomfortable for prolonged wear. I am not circumcised so removal for daily cleaning also adds to the inconvenience. My current Mistress is not a chastity enthusiast so we have never desired to budget for a more expensive belt that would fit me well for prolonged wear.
When I have been in chastity, it's ripe with inner conflict. The idea of the CB turns me on, so my penis constantly tries to get erect, only to have the CB prevent said erection and make me horribly aware of the situation. This in turn arouses me that I'm being forced to wear a CB and I try to get hard... loop loop.
It's a hard feeling to describe but it puts sexual frustration off the charts. One time when wearing one Mistress put a fur scrunchie on over the belt and behind the balls. Every time I moved got the fur rubbing against my scrotum and the base of my penis. It was heaven and hell.
An odd bi-product is that I have found when in a CB my nipples get extremely erect and sensitive.
Something I'm not sure of is that I think I get turned on by the idea of CB's because it's a controlled situation where I know it will be removed soon (within 12 hours). The idea of being locked up for say, 3 months, is more of a fantasy than realistic event that I would ever want to experience (stupid male syndrome), yet this still turns me on. I think I can chalk this one up to the abused slave fantasy although if I were ever able to experience a belt that didn't hurt I'm not 100% sure on where I stand. I love to orgasm but I can openly admit I'm a better sub when denied and frustrated.
Mistress locked me in chastity the first time she pegged me and I think that really increased the intensity of my feelings on the subject. The "this is for my pleasure and you'll have none" aspect of it had me into the deepest subspace I've ever experienced.
I know that I've written about that before but Marc and Cleo have been stopping by and reading so I felt it was more appropriate to elaborate on this subject here rather than clogging up their comments on a topic that was a minor part of the discussion.
As my long-time readers know, I have some limited experiences with chastity. I've never worn a CB for an extended period of time but I have worn them from time to time and we own three of them. Chastity is a subject that brings up many mixed emotions in me and it's complicated to the point where I barely understand it (but I will try to in this post). I am not really a chastity enthusiast but there are some special things it is capable of doing.
One of my ex's (after we were no longer together but we remained on decent terms) developed a super hardline approach to chastity. "All male subs should be kept in chastity all the time. They just can't stay out of trouble without them," is what she said to me during one of our chats. When I asked if they should be allowed out at all, and if so, how often, she responded, saying once or twice a year is more than enough.
My first reaction was "oh wow?!" both at the fact that she said that and even more so that I had an erection. Would I want that? No. Could I handle that? Probably not well. So what was it about it that got me going? The thought of being with a woman that would be so strict and cruel that she would enforce that upon me, half under the guise of keeping me well behaved yet mainly rooted in the idea that she would love watching me suffer in a chastity belt.
After thinking about it for some time, I realized I actually agree with her reasons. Chastity belts can have such a powerful effect and they hit home in many different ways.
-As a preventative measure from touching without permission.
-As a deterrent for misbehavior: behave or you'll stay locked up another week/month/year.
-As a symbol of ownership: she who has the keys owns what's inside.
-An increase in submissive awareness: every time you even attempt an erection you'll remember.
-An easy target for a mind-fuck: to him, release might be the most important thing in the world but for her, it probably doesn't even matter so she can mess with it all she wants.
-A perpetuating submissive loop: it turns him on that she controls him, but he can't get it up which reminds him that she controls him, this turns him on, etc.
I'm sure I could rattle off at least 20 other things but it's probably obvious what I'm alluding to. Basically, there's lots of benefits from enforcing chastity.
There are subs out there that are completely capable of exerting enough self-control to not "cheat" by playing with themselves. However, this situation usually involves constant D/s interactions keeping him in subspace so that he won't drift into fantasy and rub one out. If your day to day lives have factors preventing such interactions from happening regularly, he will probably slip up at least once in a while. For many Dommes, once is still too many.
Even under circumstances where he is completely obedient in this regards, a chastity device is a big slap in the face. "I know you're obedient but I'm going to lock you up anyways."
A few quick notes before I proceed. I have a very tight scrotum and tender skin, both of which make budget-friendly devices (under $400) very uncomfortable for prolonged wear. I am not circumcised so removal for daily cleaning also adds to the inconvenience. My current Mistress is not a chastity enthusiast so we have never desired to budget for a more expensive belt that would fit me well for prolonged wear.
When I have been in chastity, it's ripe with inner conflict. The idea of the CB turns me on, so my penis constantly tries to get erect, only to have the CB prevent said erection and make me horribly aware of the situation. This in turn arouses me that I'm being forced to wear a CB and I try to get hard... loop loop.
It's a hard feeling to describe but it puts sexual frustration off the charts. One time when wearing one Mistress put a fur scrunchie on over the belt and behind the balls. Every time I moved got the fur rubbing against my scrotum and the base of my penis. It was heaven and hell.
An odd bi-product is that I have found when in a CB my nipples get extremely erect and sensitive.
Something I'm not sure of is that I think I get turned on by the idea of CB's because it's a controlled situation where I know it will be removed soon (within 12 hours). The idea of being locked up for say, 3 months, is more of a fantasy than realistic event that I would ever want to experience (stupid male syndrome), yet this still turns me on. I think I can chalk this one up to the abused slave fantasy although if I were ever able to experience a belt that didn't hurt I'm not 100% sure on where I stand. I love to orgasm but I can openly admit I'm a better sub when denied and frustrated.
Mistress locked me in chastity the first time she pegged me and I think that really increased the intensity of my feelings on the subject. The "this is for my pleasure and you'll have none" aspect of it had me into the deepest subspace I've ever experienced.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Femdom as and Economic Theory - Dommes and Monopoly vs. Oligopoly
Monpoloy Power
In a perfect world, a capitalist system functions under the theory of perfect competition. The idea of perfect competition has a few underlying principles, but the basic outcome of this theoretical model is that both buyers and sellers are "price takers," and accept the prices determined by market equilibrium.
As I have described in previous posts, the D/s relationship "market" is far from ideal. If Dommes are sellers and subs are buyers, this system of imperfect competition closely resembles that of a monopoly, with Dommes holding an immense amount of market power.
A monopoly has several distinguishing characerstics:
-There is only one seller of a particular commodity.
-There are no close substitutes.
-Other parties are barred from entry into the market.
Dommes set the "price" and all subs have to concede.
As I had originally started to write this I found the last characteristic rather bothersome because there's really nothing preventing more women from becoming Dommes, so the "market" being this biased is a bit interesting.
Hypothetical: Evolving into an Oligopoly
Hypothetically speaking, if enough new Dommes appeared to shift the sub to Domme ratio from ~26:1 to something closer to say, 6:1, the behavior of the market would change a little. While the market would still favor Dommes, the Dommes themselves would more closely resemble an oligopoly.
To make things easier (and more realistic), I am working under the assumption that all subs do not grant equal utility to Dommes. Subs that are more physically attractive, financially stable/successful, most loyal/obedient/capable in their submission, etc. will yield more utility to a Domme than typical or mediocre subs.
While Dommes are still in the minority and are in control of the scarce resource, they must now consider the behavior of the other Dommes seeking subs in order to attract the subs yielding the highest utility. Basically, they can still be in the position of power but they may have to be willing to make certain compromises to maximize their utility or the Dommes with the most favorable terms (read as: the most enjoyable kinky activities for the subs) will likely end up with the "best" subs.
It is, however, unlikely that the number of Dommes will quadruple any time soon so this probably won't be too significant of a threat. I also find it rather interesting that Dommes can put themselves at a disadvantage by having more Dommes around.
In a perfect world, a capitalist system functions under the theory of perfect competition. The idea of perfect competition has a few underlying principles, but the basic outcome of this theoretical model is that both buyers and sellers are "price takers," and accept the prices determined by market equilibrium.
As I have described in previous posts, the D/s relationship "market" is far from ideal. If Dommes are sellers and subs are buyers, this system of imperfect competition closely resembles that of a monopoly, with Dommes holding an immense amount of market power.
A monopoly has several distinguishing characerstics:
-There is only one seller of a particular commodity.
-There are no close substitutes.
-Other parties are barred from entry into the market.
Dommes set the "price" and all subs have to concede.
As I had originally started to write this I found the last characteristic rather bothersome because there's really nothing preventing more women from becoming Dommes, so the "market" being this biased is a bit interesting.
Hypothetical: Evolving into an Oligopoly
Hypothetically speaking, if enough new Dommes appeared to shift the sub to Domme ratio from ~26:1 to something closer to say, 6:1, the behavior of the market would change a little. While the market would still favor Dommes, the Dommes themselves would more closely resemble an oligopoly.
To make things easier (and more realistic), I am working under the assumption that all subs do not grant equal utility to Dommes. Subs that are more physically attractive, financially stable/successful, most loyal/obedient/capable in their submission, etc. will yield more utility to a Domme than typical or mediocre subs.
While Dommes are still in the minority and are in control of the scarce resource, they must now consider the behavior of the other Dommes seeking subs in order to attract the subs yielding the highest utility. Basically, they can still be in the position of power but they may have to be willing to make certain compromises to maximize their utility or the Dommes with the most favorable terms (read as: the most enjoyable kinky activities for the subs) will likely end up with the "best" subs.
It is, however, unlikely that the number of Dommes will quadruple any time soon so this probably won't be too significant of a threat. I also find it rather interesting that Dommes can put themselves at a disadvantage by having more Dommes around.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Femdom as an Economic Theory - More is better: Poly-relationships, Imperfect Substitutes and Composite Utility
I'm doing my best to keep the economic theory to a bearable amount but still include enough to reach an understanding of how it explains what actually happens in D/s courting. In this post I will likely candy coat the basic ideas of the theory since if I tried to go in depth it would likely bore the shit out of everyone.
At the end of my post on Perfect vs. Imperfect substitutes I touched on Dommes generally being more discerning than many subs.
Utility
Economic theory often deals with an idea known as "Utility." Basically, utility describes the amount of "goodness" someone receives from something. Perfect substitutes occur when choosing one item over another yields the same level of utility. Imperfect substitutes occur when choosing one substitute (lesser) item yields less utility than another (better) item.
Dommes are often faced with the challenge of considering or accepting subs that yield less utility than their ideal sub (read as: they aren't as happy with a good "fit" sub vs. a perfect fit sub). Their perfect sub probably doesn't exist, so substitution is a very common practice in D/s courting. The challenge then becomes finding a sub that is "good enough" and trying to shape him to something that is as close to perfect as possible.
Technically, the economic theories on utility generally work based upon a fixed income and/or describe what happens during changes in income. However, as I wrote about in my Barter System post, Femdom is a scarce and valuable resource.
Maximizing Utility through Poly-relationships
If a Domme realizes her services are an extremely valuable commodity, she can in turn increase her "buying power" tremendously. That is, rather than settle for one imperfect sub, she can take on multiple subs that together can meet every one of her desires and maximize her utility.
e.g. one sub is her emotional lover, one sub is her cleaning maid and money slave, one sub is her big cock for sex, one sub is her intense pain slut, etc.
This has its advantages as she never has to go without something she wants and there is less emotional attachment to individual subs if they ever decide/desire to leave. It also sends a strong message to subs that they are replaceable if they don't meet her performance expectations.
There is a Limit
While it might seem perfect on paper, the more subs that are present the less attention each sub will inevitably receive, reducing their utility. Also, the number of subs capable of functioning as part of a stable over the long-run (even if they say they can) is relatively small.
While this idea may have its flaws, I can see many cases where it would probably yield greater utility for a Domme than searching for one perfect sub.
At the end of my post on Perfect vs. Imperfect substitutes I touched on Dommes generally being more discerning than many subs.
Utility
Economic theory often deals with an idea known as "Utility." Basically, utility describes the amount of "goodness" someone receives from something. Perfect substitutes occur when choosing one item over another yields the same level of utility. Imperfect substitutes occur when choosing one substitute (lesser) item yields less utility than another (better) item.
Dommes are often faced with the challenge of considering or accepting subs that yield less utility than their ideal sub (read as: they aren't as happy with a good "fit" sub vs. a perfect fit sub). Their perfect sub probably doesn't exist, so substitution is a very common practice in D/s courting. The challenge then becomes finding a sub that is "good enough" and trying to shape him to something that is as close to perfect as possible.
Technically, the economic theories on utility generally work based upon a fixed income and/or describe what happens during changes in income. However, as I wrote about in my Barter System post, Femdom is a scarce and valuable resource.
Maximizing Utility through Poly-relationships
If a Domme realizes her services are an extremely valuable commodity, she can in turn increase her "buying power" tremendously. That is, rather than settle for one imperfect sub, she can take on multiple subs that together can meet every one of her desires and maximize her utility.
e.g. one sub is her emotional lover, one sub is her cleaning maid and money slave, one sub is her big cock for sex, one sub is her intense pain slut, etc.
This has its advantages as she never has to go without something she wants and there is less emotional attachment to individual subs if they ever decide/desire to leave. It also sends a strong message to subs that they are replaceable if they don't meet her performance expectations.
There is a Limit
While it might seem perfect on paper, the more subs that are present the less attention each sub will inevitably receive, reducing their utility. Also, the number of subs capable of functioning as part of a stable over the long-run (even if they say they can) is relatively small.
While this idea may have its flaws, I can see many cases where it would probably yield greater utility for a Domme than searching for one perfect sub.
Femdom as and Economic Theory - Perfect vs. Imperfect Substitues: Discerning Dommes and Idiot subs
This post somewhat builds off of the last scenario I wrote about in my Barter System post and is also rooted in the Theory of supply and demand..
Substitution as an economic term refers to people consuming/purchasing one good instead of another for various reasons.
A perfect substitute is an item that is consumed that yields the same amount of "goodness" (utility) as a different item. e.g. If Pepsi goes on sale, people will increase their consumption of Pepsi and decrease their consumption of Coke. Similarly, if the price of Pepsi goes up, people will increase their consumption of Coke and decrease their consumption of Pepsi. In either case, the total amount of cola consumed will remain pretty much the same. In this example, Coke and Pepsi act as perfect substitutes.
Why some lonely and single male subs can be super annoying
In many cases, Dommes in a particular area often know each other. They often see each other at munches/play parties/gatherings or at least correspond every so often on the internet. One of the biggest headaches for Dommes in a particular area is often a couple of subs that are so starved for dominance yet oblivious to manners and etiquette that they end up being a pain in the ass to every Domme in the area.
When 22 women in one city receive an email from one person saying "u should dominat me" and includes a picture of their dick, you can be fairly sure that this person will be shit-listed by all of them.
On occasion, you'll also find a few subs that aren't as stupid but still seem to make the same general mistake: contacting all of the Dommes within a relatively short period of time.
Desperation tends to breed this behavior and this behavior indicates that a sub in this state treats Dommes like perfect substitutes. No Coke? Pepsi. No Pepsi? R/c. No R/c? Shasta... and so on. They are so starved for domination that they will take it in any way, shape, or form. No matter how you look at it, it wreaks of being pathetic. Unfortunately, this is also a product of the drastic inequality of Femdoms to malesubs, so the tendency for this to happen remains consistent with the economic theory.
Discerning Dommes
Dommes tend to approach courting in a very different way. Dommes tend to treat subs like imperfect substitutes. That is, taking on a sub who is a poor fit (usually) yields less "goodness" than a sub who is a good fit. Rather than trying every available sub she will likely key in on ones who she feels can meet her needs or is of a frame of mind that could be easily molded to meet her needs.
Oddly enough, Dommes that are overtly cruel and prefer subs that hate what they do to them will almost always search with a similar, if not greater amount of discretion. This is an odd scenario where her good fit is a poor fit for him, so it requires a sub that has the capacity to endure both mentally and physically under those circumstances.
Substitution as an economic term refers to people consuming/purchasing one good instead of another for various reasons.
A perfect substitute is an item that is consumed that yields the same amount of "goodness" (utility) as a different item. e.g. If Pepsi goes on sale, people will increase their consumption of Pepsi and decrease their consumption of Coke. Similarly, if the price of Pepsi goes up, people will increase their consumption of Coke and decrease their consumption of Pepsi. In either case, the total amount of cola consumed will remain pretty much the same. In this example, Coke and Pepsi act as perfect substitutes.
Why some lonely and single male subs can be super annoying
In many cases, Dommes in a particular area often know each other. They often see each other at munches/play parties/gatherings or at least correspond every so often on the internet. One of the biggest headaches for Dommes in a particular area is often a couple of subs that are so starved for dominance yet oblivious to manners and etiquette that they end up being a pain in the ass to every Domme in the area.
When 22 women in one city receive an email from one person saying "u should dominat me" and includes a picture of their dick, you can be fairly sure that this person will be shit-listed by all of them.
On occasion, you'll also find a few subs that aren't as stupid but still seem to make the same general mistake: contacting all of the Dommes within a relatively short period of time.
Desperation tends to breed this behavior and this behavior indicates that a sub in this state treats Dommes like perfect substitutes. No Coke? Pepsi. No Pepsi? R/c. No R/c? Shasta... and so on. They are so starved for domination that they will take it in any way, shape, or form. No matter how you look at it, it wreaks of being pathetic. Unfortunately, this is also a product of the drastic inequality of Femdoms to malesubs, so the tendency for this to happen remains consistent with the economic theory.
Discerning Dommes
Dommes tend to approach courting in a very different way. Dommes tend to treat subs like imperfect substitutes. That is, taking on a sub who is a poor fit (usually) yields less "goodness" than a sub who is a good fit. Rather than trying every available sub she will likely key in on ones who she feels can meet her needs or is of a frame of mind that could be easily molded to meet her needs.
Oddly enough, Dommes that are overtly cruel and prefer subs that hate what they do to them will almost always search with a similar, if not greater amount of discretion. This is an odd scenario where her good fit is a poor fit for him, so it requires a sub that has the capacity to endure both mentally and physically under those circumstances.
Femdom as an Economic Theory - Adverse Selection and the Lemon Problem
At the end of my Barter System post I briefly discussed some of the negative aspects of being one of a few Femdoms confronted with an over-whelming number of malesubs.
These problems are rooted in a couple of economic theories that were developed in order to describe certain types of market failures (market failures = when supply and demand fail to establish a perfect equilibrium).
Asymmetric Information, Adverse Selection and the Lemon Problem
Asymmetric information is a term that refers to a situation when one party has better or more complete information than the other. Adverse Selection is term referring to market failures due to "bad" outcomes occurring based upon asymmetric information.
The Lemon Problem describes the market for used cars and is the most common example used to describe this situation. A person selling a used car knows exactly how it has behaved over time and what problems it may have. A person buying a used car only knows what the seller tells them, which may or not be completely accurate/true.
Let's say:
1. A perfect, great running, used car should sell for $10,000.
2. An unreliable, problem prone, used car of the same year, model, and features should sell for $4,000.
The buyer doesn't know if the used car will be #1 or #2 (or somewhere in between). The actual selling price will likely be somewhere around $6,000-$7,000. This is considered a market failure since good cars sell below what they are worth and bad cars sell for more than they are worth.
The same used car may sell from a dealer for say, $9,000 since the dealer will likely have done a thorough inspection and offer some sort of warranty, but that is outside the scope of this post.
Why this makes it harder for subs
This same type of market failure happens frequently in D/s courting. The sub is like the used car and the Domme is the buyer. Good subs will sell themselves as good subs and bad subs will also sell themselves as good subs. It's (almost) impossible to tell good subs apart from bad subs without spending a significant amount of time with them.
This leads to several problems.
Many good subs will get passed over while being mistaken for bad subs in disguise.
Many bad subs posing as good subs will be chosen (and discarded), making Dommes even more skeptical towards subs in general.
It becomes next to impossible to truly sell yourself for who you are.
I know many Dommes that have developed intensive evaluation and testing periods in order to weed out the good from the bad. While I think that it is wise of them to do so, I think it's a bit of a shame that it has to be that way.
These problems are rooted in a couple of economic theories that were developed in order to describe certain types of market failures (market failures = when supply and demand fail to establish a perfect equilibrium).
Asymmetric Information, Adverse Selection and the Lemon Problem
Asymmetric information is a term that refers to a situation when one party has better or more complete information than the other. Adverse Selection is term referring to market failures due to "bad" outcomes occurring based upon asymmetric information.
The Lemon Problem describes the market for used cars and is the most common example used to describe this situation. A person selling a used car knows exactly how it has behaved over time and what problems it may have. A person buying a used car only knows what the seller tells them, which may or not be completely accurate/true.
Let's say:
1. A perfect, great running, used car should sell for $10,000.
2. An unreliable, problem prone, used car of the same year, model, and features should sell for $4,000.
The buyer doesn't know if the used car will be #1 or #2 (or somewhere in between). The actual selling price will likely be somewhere around $6,000-$7,000. This is considered a market failure since good cars sell below what they are worth and bad cars sell for more than they are worth.
The same used car may sell from a dealer for say, $9,000 since the dealer will likely have done a thorough inspection and offer some sort of warranty, but that is outside the scope of this post.
Why this makes it harder for subs
This same type of market failure happens frequently in D/s courting. The sub is like the used car and the Domme is the buyer. Good subs will sell themselves as good subs and bad subs will also sell themselves as good subs. It's (almost) impossible to tell good subs apart from bad subs without spending a significant amount of time with them.
This leads to several problems.
Many good subs will get passed over while being mistaken for bad subs in disguise.
Many bad subs posing as good subs will be chosen (and discarded), making Dommes even more skeptical towards subs in general.
It becomes next to impossible to truly sell yourself for who you are.
I know many Dommes that have developed intensive evaluation and testing periods in order to weed out the good from the bad. While I think that it is wise of them to do so, I think it's a bit of a shame that it has to be that way.
Femdom as an Economic Theory - The Barter System and Double Coincidence of wants
The Barter System
The evolution of money came about as a solution to the inconvenient method of trading known as the barter system. The barter system is trading ones' own goods or services in exchange for goods or services the one is seeking. Instead of trying to trade a day's labor for a bag of salt or 20 rabbit pelts for a bushel of wheat, it was easier to work a day's labor and be paid in money to buy the salt directly or sell the rabbit pelts for money to buy the wheat.
The principle governing success of the barter system is known as double-coincidence of wants. This occurs when the trader and tradee each want what the other is offering. Unfortunately this can be a very difficult task depending upon what one is offering and what one wants.
How this applies to Femdom relationships
BDSM relationships are often described in terms of their "fit." Fit rarely describes personal compatibility but usually focuses upon commonalities in desired kink. I won't comment on whether I think this is a good priority to have, I will just accept this is how courting usually occurs (although I will note that successful relationships of any kind usually requires good personal compatibility).
Dommes and subs seeking a good "fit" closely resembles the double-coincidence of wants. In most cases, you can think of someone's kinky desires as both what they have to offer and what they desire in return.
Why Femdoms hold all the bartering power
As I wrote in my post on Supply and Demand, the numbers are stacked in favor of Femdoms. Basically, for every one woman offering wheat, there's 27 men wanting wheat who will have to meet her demands to get it.
An example
male submissive X wants:
-Domination.
-A fetish-model sexy Mistress.
-Frequent kinky sex play.
-Light bondage.
-Light physical punishment.
Femdom A wants:
-Complete devotion and submission.
-Gainful employment / financial manipulation.
-Well-educated conversation.
-Strict chastity and orgasm denial.
-Intense corporal punishment and torture.
-Cuckolding.
-Branding/tattoos/piercings.
-Full domestic service.
-Body worship.
-Frequent cunnilingus.
-Humiliation.
Is Femdom A a good 'fit' for malesub X? Hell no. Will malesub X fore go his own wants and be willing to bend to Femdom A's demands? Probably. Does that make malesub X a good fit for Femdom A? If he'll go along, why not?
This is also rather inconvenient for Femdom A. If her demands are that strict the number of malesubs truly offering it are probably scarce as well. However, since she holds the power any sub that meet her criteria and will bend to her desires pretty much works out. Her greatest inconvenience is weeding out the fakers to find those truly willing to sacrifice.
I will cover more on this in my next post.
The evolution of money came about as a solution to the inconvenient method of trading known as the barter system. The barter system is trading ones' own goods or services in exchange for goods or services the one is seeking. Instead of trying to trade a day's labor for a bag of salt or 20 rabbit pelts for a bushel of wheat, it was easier to work a day's labor and be paid in money to buy the salt directly or sell the rabbit pelts for money to buy the wheat.
The principle governing success of the barter system is known as double-coincidence of wants. This occurs when the trader and tradee each want what the other is offering. Unfortunately this can be a very difficult task depending upon what one is offering and what one wants.
How this applies to Femdom relationships
BDSM relationships are often described in terms of their "fit." Fit rarely describes personal compatibility but usually focuses upon commonalities in desired kink. I won't comment on whether I think this is a good priority to have, I will just accept this is how courting usually occurs (although I will note that successful relationships of any kind usually requires good personal compatibility).
Dommes and subs seeking a good "fit" closely resembles the double-coincidence of wants. In most cases, you can think of someone's kinky desires as both what they have to offer and what they desire in return.
Why Femdoms hold all the bartering power
As I wrote in my post on Supply and Demand, the numbers are stacked in favor of Femdoms. Basically, for every one woman offering wheat, there's 27 men wanting wheat who will have to meet her demands to get it.
An example
male submissive X wants:
-Domination.
-A fetish-model sexy Mistress.
-Frequent kinky sex play.
-Light bondage.
-Light physical punishment.
Femdom A wants:
-Complete devotion and submission.
-Gainful employment / financial manipulation.
-Well-educated conversation.
-Strict chastity and orgasm denial.
-Intense corporal punishment and torture.
-Cuckolding.
-Branding/tattoos/piercings.
-Full domestic service.
-Body worship.
-Frequent cunnilingus.
-Humiliation.
Is Femdom A a good 'fit' for malesub X? Hell no. Will malesub X fore go his own wants and be willing to bend to Femdom A's demands? Probably. Does that make malesub X a good fit for Femdom A? If he'll go along, why not?
This is also rather inconvenient for Femdom A. If her demands are that strict the number of malesubs truly offering it are probably scarce as well. However, since she holds the power any sub that meet her criteria and will bend to her desires pretty much works out. Her greatest inconvenience is weeding out the fakers to find those truly willing to sacrifice.
I will cover more on this in my next post.
Femdom as an Economic Theory - Supply and Demand
The Basic Theory of Supply and Demand
Economic Theory is pretty much all based upon the theory of supply and demand.
The premise:
At a given price, consumers will demand X amount of a product.
To increase demand, lower the price.
To increase the price, lower the amount supplied (below what is demanded at its current price).
Scarce Resources and the BDSM Pyramid
It is generally accepted in the BDSM community that there is a pyramid-like hierarchy of orientation representations when it comes to BDSM preference. The actual numbers are sometimes debatable because it's common belief that male subs are over-represented on the internet but I also believe they are under-represented at BDSM functions. However, the order of the levels in the pyramid are never really questioned.
In my estimation (taken from both the internet and BDSM functions), the percentages are probably something like:
Female Dominant: ~2%
Male Dominant: ~13%
female submissive: ~32%
male submissive: ~53%
This means there is an approximately 2.5:1 femsub to Maledom ratio, but more than a 26:1 malesub to Femdom ratio.
The inequality leads to a special type of supply and demand interaction known as scarce resources. No matter how limited the supply, demand tends to remain the same. The end result is inflated prices and excess demand.
Basically, Femdom Nation is OPEC and male subs are the automobile driving public. No matter how "expensive" domination is, male subs will pay it, and regardless of the price, most male subs will be left out in the cold without it. Unless there's a drastic societal change, this situation won't change any time soon as there's no electric car equivalent to femdom.
Conclusion
Since the number of male subs so drastically out populate the number of Femdoms, Female Dominants have every advantage in both courting situations and D/s relationships.
Economic Theory is pretty much all based upon the theory of supply and demand.
The premise:
At a given price, consumers will demand X amount of a product.
To increase demand, lower the price.
To increase the price, lower the amount supplied (below what is demanded at its current price).
Scarce Resources and the BDSM Pyramid
It is generally accepted in the BDSM community that there is a pyramid-like hierarchy of orientation representations when it comes to BDSM preference. The actual numbers are sometimes debatable because it's common belief that male subs are over-represented on the internet but I also believe they are under-represented at BDSM functions. However, the order of the levels in the pyramid are never really questioned.
In my estimation (taken from both the internet and BDSM functions), the percentages are probably something like:
Female Dominant: ~2%
Male Dominant: ~13%
female submissive: ~32%
male submissive: ~53%
This means there is an approximately 2.5:1 femsub to Maledom ratio, but more than a 26:1 malesub to Femdom ratio.
The inequality leads to a special type of supply and demand interaction known as scarce resources. No matter how limited the supply, demand tends to remain the same. The end result is inflated prices and excess demand.
Basically, Femdom Nation is OPEC and male subs are the automobile driving public. No matter how "expensive" domination is, male subs will pay it, and regardless of the price, most male subs will be left out in the cold without it. Unless there's a drastic societal change, this situation won't change any time soon as there's no electric car equivalent to femdom.
Conclusion
Since the number of male subs so drastically out populate the number of Femdoms, Female Dominants have every advantage in both courting situations and D/s relationships.
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