Saturday, October 2, 2010

Pleasure by Denial: Having fun by taking away his fun

He's laying spread eagle on the bed.  Arms and legs tied to each bed post, a blindfold over his eyes.  He's not allowed to talk.  She's kept him heavily teased and denied for days.  She reaches out and touches his penis and it immediately springs to attention.  Slowly she strokes it until it is rock hard.  He moans and presses his hips towards the sky.  She increases her pace, he begins to pant.  He is swollen and throbbing, aching with desperation.  He takes a deep breath and emits a low grown.  She stops.  He bucks his hips, fucking the air, whimpering, squealing, to no avail.  She is ready.  She smirks, climbs onto the bed, and straddles his face.  She cums to her heart's content.

Why is this situation so right?  Why is his pleasure merely a game of power and control that she always wins?  Why do we love it?

I've never met a woman that didn't enjoy this situation, vanilla or Domme.  It always seems to appeal to women.  However, many women, mostly vanilla but some Dommes (especially newer ones) wouldn't feel completely okay about this situation unless the story continued with a sexual reward for him.  Assuming he is a sub, here's why it shouldn't matter.

His primary pleasure is submission and that is being granted.  Everything that he needs to be happy is already there.  He's allowed to be with a woman.  She's dominating him.  He's given the pleasure of pleasuring her. 


  1. Keeping one's sub on the edge, totally controlling if and when he's allowed release, watching him struggle to reach you, having him service you over and over while he's in this state - it's one of life's great pleasures.

    What does it do for him? It lets him serve the one he worships, it lets him remain in a state of heightened anticipation, the end of which he has no power of controlling, it releases him from the need to worry about anything but obeying. Ultimately, it enslaves him and frees him at the same time. What more could a sub ask for?

    Well, he could ask to be judged, and punished if he's found wanting. Did my tongue please her? Did my struggling turn her on? Was my unrequited passion sufficiently desperate for her amusement? Did I beg properly, or if so ordered, did I remain soundless while she used me? Will she punish me as a teaching tool for future service (and of course there WILL be future service), or simply because she enjoys exhibiting her power over me? Her dominance, her superiority, her total control.

    And just think - those are just the basics. The subtleties go on forever. Wouldn't you agree, Fur?

  2. Thank you for the comments, Lady Grey.

    You summed up the feelings of deep submission and loving servitude very well.

    I wish more women were able to pick up the joys of Dominance. There's always a preconceived notion that it always requires constant activity on the part of the Domme, but that's only partly true. If she develops systems and makes plans it can eventually free her up almost completely from the mundane, receive every pleasure she ever wanted, and simply relax and enjoy how things unfold. While the initial work may take a lot of forethought, the result unfolds slowly and sometimes in ways she never dreamed possible.