Saturday, March 12, 2011

Being "too submissive"

I'm feeling good enough to start blogging for real again.  The impulses of negativity that had been ruining my days over the past month or two have silenced since yesterday and while I'm not a bundle of energy or anything, I'm feeling a whole lot better to my core.

Over my years in the lifestyle, two times I have been rejected by Dommes I was courting on the grounds that I was "too submissive."  I'm guessing this was their way of voicing that my need for a very intense level of dominance was beyond what they would get turned on by doing, or it could have just as easily been a nice way of saying they weren't attracted to me.

I'm curious as to people's thoughts on this idea.  Is there such a thing as "too submissive?"  It's not like I am looking for a lifestyle in a stone dungeon chained to the wall 24-7 being fed scraps and going to the bathroom in a rusty bucket in the corner. 

When I really think about it, I think what they must have meant in these cases is that they didn't think I would bring enough to the table in terms of the relationship aspect of things.  At least, that is my best guess.  They didn't want to be relied on all the time to make the decisions of where to eat, what we do, etc. and that I wouldn't have enough of an opinion or be interesting enough in that regards.

I guess I'm not quite sure.  When in "courting mode" I project myself as being very flexible and I guess in some cases it's probably too flexible.  I am someone that has a lot of interests and hobbies and a strong opinion on many things... but willing to fore go them unless asked.

I can see cases for this description where kink overlap is the issue or if someone has the personality of a doormat, but in the cases that I've had it used to describe me I don't think either was the case.

I guess I'm looking for opinions on this one.  What would describing someone as "too submissive" mean to you?

No comments:

Post a Comment