Below my hard shell of a cynical exterior, deep down I am a through-and-through romantic. It was through chivalry and picturing the "perfect date" or "perfect evening" that I somehow groomed myself to a submissive mindset.
This is a bit more difficult with D/s. To an experienced Domme, "Romantic gestures" are often hard to perform, and even harder to find ways to have it be well-received. This is because it's not really yours to offer, it's her's to take. If you live in a world of established ritual and expectations, acting independently is often frowned upon.
That doesn't mean we should stop trying. Even when serving a strict micro-manager or uber-strict power Domme, it's still possible if you take the time to get to know what makes her tick. This isn't always the easiest, but sometimes a certain look, saying a few simple words, or prostrating yourself in a certain way can really touch her heart. I've always found these times to be the most rewarding in all of Femdom. I can feel her love encircle me, her arms wrap around me as if saying "mine!" and her inner flame ignites into a blinding sun.
I think the key to this is to vastly surpass her expectations and cater to her dominant and romantic triggers. To find ways to give her something she never knew she wanted but loves it now that it's happened... this is never easy, but always rewarding when you succeed.
I'm not quite sure how this looks from the outside. Does it look like a sub over-stepping his bounds or is it more like a man madly in love and searching for new ways to show his love? I do hope the latter as I hope this is more of a positive characteristic of mine rather than a negative trait.
To me, it's a positive characteristic. I'm sure that there are Doms who would prefer total micromanagement of their subs and would disagree. Any Dom who would resent romantic gestures owes it to her sub to let him know this right from the beginning of the relationship. My friend Clarice comes to mind, and she made no bones about the role her husband would play. No romance, no love, just abject service with no questions asked and no mercy expected. In my mind, that's more of a Mistress/slave relationship, but both parties seem quite satisfied. Good communication from the start prevented any misundeerstandings and gave her sub ample opportunity to back out.
ReplyDeleteIn my relationship, love is essential and I can't imagine any scenario that would find me resentful of any romantic effort on the part of my husband. Of course, my husband is intelligent enough to know when such gestures are not appropriate, as I'm sure you are as well. I mean, when he's suspended from the ceiling, standing on tiptoes with quivering legs, and I'm poised in front of him with a whip, it's really no time for the flower delivery to arrive. On the other hand.....that might be fun too:)
Thank you for the feedback, Lady Grey.
ReplyDeleteI agree whole-heartedly with Lady Grey :)
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