Saturday finally arrived. We had made plans to meet up with another Femdom D/s couple that I met through our blogs. We went early and went shopping at an upscale department store. Shopping was a bit disappointing, we both love fur and there were hardly any "good" items available for either of us. We left the store and met up with the couple for Dinner at a local BBQ restaurant.
We chatted and ate before heading to a bar to get a drink and talk some more. Luckily it was fairly early and we were able to find a private spot with no one nearby. They are a charming couple and we had a great time. I'm glad that we had that experience and I hope we can meet up again soon.
The evening ended smoothly and we watched a DVD before going to sleep on the earlier side of things. Today we didn't have anything planned but we got up and going fairly late today. We went shopping at a local bargain clothing store before dinner and bought our first "fun" things of the year together. She found a fur-trimmed hat, fur trimmed scarf, and fur scarf that went with some of her coats. We found the same hat but in off-white for me. This was literally the first time we bought "play" clothes this winter. She is now at work but the evening ended smoothly again.
I feel really fucked up over the turn of events that went on, but the both of us seem a lot better after going out with the other couple on Saturday.
I have realized that I am pretty much suffering from battered woman syndrome. I do think if it gets that bad again I will be able to break things off. The idea of that is still scary though... I'm not sure if it's better to be safe and alone or abused and together.
On another random note, my CB-6000S cage arrived late last week and I was able to give it a trial run. Getting a good fit on the CB-6000 has been a bit of a challenge. The 6000s alleviated some of these issues since my penis doesn't get "stuck" against cage wall when it attempts an erection like it did with the standard 6000 cage. I also found going with a smaller cock ring helps it fit better. Although it's much harder to get on, it gives the testicles more clearance so there's less chafing done by the back of the cage. It's still not long-term comfortable yet, but I'm going to keep working with it to see if I can get a decent fit. On a side note, the shorter length of this cage is a bit more humiliating.
This three part series has been very disheartening. It's hard to imagine living with such extreme "downs" in a relationship. It's certainly no wonder that you get depressed on a regular basis.
ReplyDeleteWish I had a solution besides simply getting out of there, but evidently your fear of being alone is preventing that. I do hope that any upsides with this woman are worth what you're experiencing. Doesn't sound like much fun to me, based on what you're describing. Good luck, Fur.
*hugs*
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you went through all of that Fur. :(
It sounds very ugly and mentally/emotionally exhausting, and it sounds like youve been put through the wringer.
Would couple counseling be an option? If you want to stay in it that is.
Anyway...hope things get better either way!
--tia
Thank you for the comments, Lady Grey.
ReplyDeleteThere's a few other factors working into the mix beyond fear. Some are financial, while some are more personal (e.g. acting as a father-figure to her son whose actual father is a piece of shit). Either way I know my mind has been trapped in a bad place.
It is a difficult existence at this time.
Thank you, tia. We have done counseling. I was told that I have a very mature way of dealing with things. Things have probably gotten worse more than better since the counseling. There have been a few stretches of 3-6 weeks where she was able to keep things under control and things have very good. I feel like I don't really know anything anymore.