I do feel like I'm getting closer to being able to "write for real" again. The feelings inside are starting to resonate in a harmonious way again but I'm struggling with the lack of privacy in the absence of D/s interaction with T.
When she doesn't take part I tend to feel guilty for still wishing to explore my submission. I don't know exactly why this is but it is definitely this way for me.
I have attempted some "body language" cues that haven't received a response and that is probably her way of saying "still not interested."
I probably shouldn't feel guilty if that is the case.
In my mind I am chasing that next dynamic that I wish to explore in writing... I just haven't found it quite yet.
Disinterest in the absence of D/s is oh so different than indifference in the presence of D/s, isn't it? The latter is delightfully cruel while the former is just plain old pain-in-the-ass cruel. What a difference an attitude can make! Don't let it dissuade you from getting over the final hurdle, fur.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lady Grey.
DeleteThe ache is starting to grow stronger than my depression rut. Hopefully I will find some clarity soon.
I hope the depression ends and that you find the clarity you seek to begin writing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Miss Lily.
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