I do feel like I'm getting closer to being able to "write for real" again. The feelings inside are starting to resonate in a harmonious way again but I'm struggling with the lack of privacy in the absence of D/s interaction with T.
When she doesn't take part I tend to feel guilty for still wishing to explore my submission. I don't know exactly why this is but it is definitely this way for me.
I have attempted some "body language" cues that haven't received a response and that is probably her way of saying "still not interested."
I probably shouldn't feel guilty if that is the case.
In my mind I am chasing that next dynamic that I wish to explore in writing... I just haven't found it quite yet.