Saturday, January 14, 2017

Dual Natures of submission

This is a bit of a follow-up to my last post "Talking about Sex" that I wanted to elaborate upon.

The giving side of my submission makes up a large part of who I am.  In this mindset I take great pleasure and arousal in providing pleasure and service to the Domme.  Yes, I will get an erection while cooking food and thinking about how I want to make it as delicious as possible so that she will enjoy it.  The same goes for rubbing her feet or shoulders.  While my desire to orgasm remains low, I have a strong desire to remain in this state.  It makes me feel good about myself and proud that I am making her happy.

I have been told that I somewhat resemble a service submissive in this way.  I've always felt that my desires are a bit selfish and my reasons for wanting to do them a bit impure.  I could be wrong and I really have no reference point.

I mentioned in the previous post about a Jekyll/Hyde relationship with my submission.

Certain activities trigger a seismic shift in my submission.  With enough sexual contact or teasing I become sufficiently aroused to shift into a completely different state: I go from giver to receiver.  From servant to victim.

The shift in mindset is extreme but to be fair, it usually accompanies a drastic shift in activities.  In these times I wish to be touched, teased, and tormented.  I long to feel her.  I long for her touch on my body.  In these times I become the center of her attention.  In these times my desires become self-centered. My submission remains strong enough to remain attentive to her instructions.  I will endure whatever she may throw my way.  I want to be there to please her.  I want her to take pleasure as she explores my body.  However... if sufficiently stimulated all of my best efforts go out the window... and I pretty much want an orgasm and I feel a bit like a mindless beast, chasing its own desire.