This is a bit of a follow-up to my last post "Talking about Sex" that I wanted to elaborate upon.
The giving side of my submission makes up a large part of who I am. In this mindset I take great pleasure and arousal in providing pleasure and service to the Domme. Yes, I will get an erection while cooking food and thinking about how I want to make it as delicious as possible so that she will enjoy it. The same goes for rubbing her feet or shoulders. While my desire to orgasm remains low, I have a strong desire to remain in this state. It makes me feel good about myself and proud that I am making her happy.
I have been told that I somewhat resemble a service submissive in this way. I've always felt that my desires are a bit selfish and my reasons for wanting to do them a bit impure. I could be wrong and I really have no reference point.
I mentioned in the previous post about a Jekyll/Hyde relationship with my submission.
Certain activities trigger a seismic shift in my submission. With enough sexual contact or teasing I become sufficiently aroused to shift into a completely different state: I go from giver to receiver. From servant to victim.
The shift in mindset is extreme but to be fair, it usually accompanies a drastic shift in activities. In these times I wish to be touched, teased, and tormented. I long to feel her. I long for her touch on my body. In these times I become the center of her attention. In these times my desires become self-centered. My submission remains strong enough to remain attentive to her instructions. I will endure whatever she may throw my way. I want to be there to please her. I want her to take pleasure as she explores my body. However... if sufficiently stimulated all of my best efforts go out the window... and I pretty much want an orgasm and I feel a bit like a mindless beast, chasing its own desire.
Interesting how that works out.
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