Author’s Note: This takes place a few days after Part 64.
I’m happy that Mistress has bonded with Brittany. Theresa and B have been going out less and less. I have a feeling their relationship is reaching the next level of seriousness. Dominique has been traveling Europe since the ski trip. According to Mistress, Lisa has been heading home immediately after work on most days. Mistress hadn’t spent much time with any of them since the ski trip and I know that her social life is important to her well-being. Having a close friend to spend time with really keeps her spirits in a good mood.
Now that I think about it, it feels like it’s been a very long time since I found myself alone with Lisa. The times I have spent with her have been good, often healing me when I found myself struggling with my feelings and needing the comfort. I’m actually a bit excited.
I hear the front door’s lock turn and open. I hurry to the entryway to greet her. Her back is to me as I enter and bow my head.
“It is good to see you, Miss Lisa.”
I straighten myself up and watch as she brushes the light bit of snow from her shoulders and hat. My heart flutters for an instant. Lisa turns to me and nods, acknowledging my presence and I’m taken back a bit. She seems different. Her coat, hat, and boots look like they came from Mistress’s wardrobe. She has changed her hairstyle, instead of appearing a bit plain or businesslike it seems a lot more glamorous and fashionable. Her make-up is done up, again a contrast to the woman I am used to seeing.
I approach her slowly and help her out of her coat. The scent of an unfamiliar perfume wafts out from the fur collar of her coat. As she turns towards me I’m a bit surprised. When she visits to house sit she’s usually in a work suit or jeans and a sweater but today she’s wearing an expensive skirt and a very nice blouse that compliments her complexion and figure quite well. I blush a little.
“You look very lovely today, Miss Lisa.”
“I don’t remember giving you speech privileges, fur. Hurry and fetch me a robe and slippers.”
She shoos me away with her hand. I scurry away processing the difference in her personality. She feels… aloof. I quickly select a robe and matching slippers from the coat closet. When I return I’m surprised to find her standing directly outside. She reaches out with her hands and takes my nipples between her fingers, gently massaging them before giving a gentle squeeze. I close my eyes, moan, and press my thighs together as she continues to play with them. I open my eyes as her hands leave my body and I find her gaze piercing me with a direct stare.
A sly grin covers her face. I feel like that was a declaration statement: “Look at me, I’m not going to blush.”
She extends her arm, mimicking Mistress’s motion, and I gently slide the robe onto her. I wrap it around her body and lift her hair from inside the collar. Moving to her front I cinch the belt around her waist and drop to my knees.
My body tingles as I unzip her boots. They are out of character for her, knee high with sharp heels. The feeling begins to creep in that maybe they aren’t out of character… what I expect from her is for a previous version of her. I gently guide her foot into the slipper and work on the other boot. I can hear her breathing. I recognize that style of breathing. I slide the second slipper on her foot and raise my head, preparing myself to stand.
“Complete the ritual.”
Her voice is cold. Commanding. I lower my head and plant a kiss on her foot, first the right foot, then the left. I raise my head but she stops me abruptly by clearing her throat.
“Like you mean it.”
My soul shakes under her words. The joy fades from my eyes. I lower my head again and firmly plant my lips on the top of the slipper. I press in and place a kiss. I repeat this with the other foot. I keep my head bowed awaiting her instructions.
A smile comes over my lips and I slowly rise. She hands me a bag.
“Take this to the kitchen and set me a place. I’ll take white wine to drink.”
I nod and lead the way to the kitchen. At the table I retrieve a plate and silverware and remove the contents from the bag. A box from the colonel. I place its contents upon the plate, making sure it presents itself neatly. The smell causes my mouth to water. I pour a glass of wine and help her with her chair. Normally I would prepare to sit with her but today I know better.
“You may kneel.”
I nod and drop to my knees. I try to avoid looking at her as I hear her savor bites of chicken, mashed potatoes, and her biscuit. She taps her hand on the table and I look up. She holds a small cut of chicken in her fingers before my eyes, pausing before she drops it on the floor in front of me. I quickly bend down and place it in my mouth. I enjoy the flavor as my teeth chew up the tiny bit of meat. My stomach suddenly twists a little, reminding me that I haven’t eaten since breakfast and it’s now dinner time.
This time I keep my eyes focused upward.
I stand and refill her glass before returning to my spot on the floor. Another tap on the table and another bit of chicken follows. I eagerly scarf it down. A third bit never follows. As I refill her wine again I notice the plate is barren except for the bones and a few bits of skin.
She leans back in the chair and takes a few gulps of wine.
“You may speak.”
“Thank you, Miss Lisa. I haven’t seen you in a while. I hope you have been well.”
“I have been well, fur. After the ski trip my husband finally agreed to move things out of the bedroom and into our daily life. It was an adjustment at first, but since then I’ve just started to run with it and enjoy myself. Your Mistress is quite a positive role model in that regards. Do I seem different?”
“Yes, Miss Lisa.”
“Is that good or bad?”
I pause to reflect for a moment, needing to choose my words carefully.
“I have always thought you are wonderful, Miss Lisa. Now you are a different kind of wonderful.”
Lisa lets out a small and playful laugh before taking another gulp of wine. She smiles as she sets the glass down.
“Cassandra is always so right about everything. Fetch my bag from my car and return it to the living room.”
“Yes, Miss Lisa.”
I rise from the floor, top off her wine, and help her out of her chair before heading to the door. Outside it’s snowing large, sticky flakes as I make my way to her car. I brush the snow off the trunk, open it, and retrieve her overnight bag before returning to the house. I find her in the living room and I place the bag next to her on the sofa.
“Lay on your back.”
I climb down to the floor and turn onto my back. She unzips her bag and begins to dig through it. I feel a twinge of fear rush through me. Out of the corner of my eye I see her hand rise holding a book. I let out a tiny sigh of relief.
I shuffle until my shoulder presses against the couch. She sits back and places her feet on my chest. I lie still while my eyes wander. Her perfume lingers. The shine of her black stockings. The feel of her feet on my chest as she wiggles her toes. I’m a bit thankful she isn’t trampling me.
My eye catches a glimpse of the book’s cover. 101 Shades Beiger. It must be part of the series that Mistress was reading and that the women spoke about at the group. Lisa’s breathing abruptly shifts and she rubs her thighs together while I hear the page turn. I smile a bit, she must be enjoying herself. A small moan follows and I feel the pressure of her feet increase, her toe digging into my sternum. Another moan. I feel her wait shift forward and I hear her ruffle through her bag. A faint buzzing sound appears as I hear the pages of the book.
I feel the weight of her feet shift as she opens and closes her thighs. Lisa has grown quite a bit braver. The buzzing continues. I’m surprised when she speaks.
“fur, your Mistress pegs you a lot doesn’t she?”
“Yes, Miss Lisa.”
“Do you like it?”
“No, Miss Lisa, I hate it.”
“What does it feel like?”
“It hurts, Miss Lisa. It’s uncomfortable. It makes me feel violated… helpless… I can’t get away.”
“Interesting.” She pauses and lets out a moan before continuing.
“Don’t some men love it and think it feels good?”
“I think some do, Miss Lisa. If they can relax.”
“Don’t you relax?”
“I can’t relax, Miss Lisa. As soon as something gets close my body just struggles to get away on its own.”
“I can relate to that. I had a boyfriend in college once that wanted to do it doggy style and then put it in my ass. I just wanted to get away but he kept trying to go at it. I kicked him in the face and broke his nose.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Miss Lisa. He deserved that.”
“That was ages ago. So if your Mistress just restrains you, why do you still hate it?”
“It makes my heart hurt, Miss Lisa. It brings up memories that aren’t fun.”
“So why do you allow it?”
“Because it would hurt worse to disappoint Mistress. She usually comforts me when she’s done.”
“So… restraints and aftercare. Got it.”
Lisa leans over and grins down at me. Her hair hangs down, framing her face. Something doesn’t feel right in my heart. I feel her feet press in as she sits back and resumes her book. The buzzing continues and the moans soon follow.
“The new you is exceptionally beautiful.”
Lisa lets out a calm sigh and begins to move her feet around on my torso. Her left foot traces its way down and finds the ridge of my chastity belt. She begins to press harder, sliding her foot forward and back. The pressures digs the seams of the belt into my skin. Lisa follows by moving her right foot upward and rests her heel on my neck. She lets out a moan and presses her foot down, digging the metal inside my collar into my neck and lightly applying pressure to my throat.
“You know fur. Your Mistress gave me permission to peg you. I got permission from my husband as well. ‘Better him than me,’ he said. This will be my first time and I won’t be gentle.”
I feel a pit form in my chest. She drowns out my whimper with her moans. She shifts her foot and I find myself struggling for air.
“Are you scared?”
“Yes, Miss Lisa. Terrified.”
“Good. I never knew it could feel so good to make a sub suffer with anticipation.”
She lets out another moan.
“Are you going to submit to it willingly or do I have to beat you into submission? Dominique has been teaching me how to use a single tail.”
My face contorts in anguish as I frown and close my eyes tightly.
“I will obey you, Miss Lisa.”
“Good boy. Get up, I wish to enjoy your body.”
I roll over and climb to my knees, taking a position directly in front of her. I place my arms at my sides. I look at her knees. I feel distraught. She lifts my chin with her finger and stares into my eyes. Lisa’s face beams… she’s radiant. Her fingers find my nipples and she begins to twist and tease. The scent of her perfume fills my nose and my sex strains against the belt. I let out a light moan.
Lisa leans her head forward, her lips just inches away. My face displays desire. She moves in. I relax myself and close my eyes, ready to meet her kiss. It never arrives. I hear her voice whisper into my ear.
“Naughty boy, as If I’d kiss you.”
She breaks into a full on laugh. I struggle with confusion.
“You know, fur, Your Mistress told me all about your little penis problem. I think it’s cute that you thought I was going to kiss you like you were a man. I’ll never be able to see you that way ever again. That doesn’t mean I won’t find a use for you.”
I swallow as my lip begins to quiver.
“Isn’t that the best a sissy with a useless dick can hope for? Every woman needs a servant. You have a mouth, a tongue, hands, and a hole.”
A wave of shame crashes over me. I want to run and hide. I show my dejection on my face.
“Why so sad, sissy? Have I said anything that isn’t true?”
“But, Miss Lisa...”
“You didn’t expect to hear that from me?”
I shake my head. Her laughter builds, starting softly but growing until she’s holding her sides. My chest tightens as I feel myself shrinking.
“Dealing with my husband this past month has really opened my eyes. The old me was always worried about being too mean. I’ve learned since then that there’s no such thing… as long as it’s true. While my husband is submissive, I still let him fuck me when he earns it. He still CAN fuck me.”
I cover my face with my hands. Why is she saying this? I feel her hands close around my wrists and pull them away.
“You should feel lucky that your Mistress takes on women lovers. I doubt a limp-dick little sissy is much use to her in that role. Without that she’d probably leave you.”
A tear trickles down my cheek. I quietly sob. I can’t contain it and I begin to wail and weep.
“If you have time to feel sorry for yourself you have time to be useful. Suck my toes.”
She parts her robe and slides her stocking tops down to her knees. I carefully remove her slippers and her stockings, sniffling as I go. As my mouth closes around her big toe I gently form a suction and flick my tongue against its pad. She lets out a low moan as the buzz of the toy resumes its work.
My heart feels hollowed out. To dull its ache I focus on the task at hand. Being useful makes me feel better. By the time I’ve worked my way halfway down her foot I can smell her. She moans and writhes as the book pages continue to turn one by one. As long as I am useful I am acceptable. That is the mantra of my life.
Lisa’s words continue to echo through me, resonating upon my deepest fears. I sniffle deeply as I shift to her other foot. If this was Mistress she would have scolded me by now for being distracted. This is not Mistress.
Her foot spasms as she moans deeply, jamming my lower lip against my teeth. By the shifting around in her seat and the smell of her sex I believe that Lisa just had an orgasm. A small bit of regret enters my heart. I normally would have been more focused and aware… and I have missed out on one of the greatest pleasures of my existence. I’m so fucking selfish. I am ashamed.
I embrace the hollowed out feelings. Get me out of my head. Enjoy the glorious privilege of serving and pleasuring a woman. This is, in fact, what I live for. While she is not Mistress, I am here representing Mistress to her. My eyes dry themselves while I turn up the intensity and focus on the task at hand.
Lisa moans deeply, a fluttering cry leaves her lungs. I hear the book hit the floor as my tongue traces down the side of her toe and stimulates in between them. She curses into the air and grips the sofa, I hear the squeak of skin and nails upon its surface. This is how I feel whole. This is how I redeem myself. I feel myself fade away. I become a machine built for pleasure.
She pulls her foot away from me. I do not chase it. I rise on my knees and await instructions. Lisa shuffles forward on the sofa. She leans forward, her face nearly touching mine. Her whisper resounds with seduction.
“That was heavenly.”
Her lips remain, just off my cheek. I feel the warmth of her breath. My mind remains blank as her perfume fills my nose. She doesn’t love me. I exist simply for her pleasure.
“Smart boy. You learn quickly.”
I open my eyes and watch as she digs through her bag and presents a Reverb and harness. She takes it in her hands and glides her grip up and down the shaft.
“I wonder why they make these so much bigger than most men actually are. Have you ever thought about that?”
I swallow hard as my eyes stay fixed on her hands. She shifts her tone to a sultry vibe.
“When I showed this to my husband it terrified him. Does it terrify you as well?”
I nod my head.
“That makes me happy to hear that. I really thought you’d be used to it by now, you know, being used. I mean, even at work where I’m her assistant, Cassandra treats me with respect and cares about my well-being. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to exist to be used… and to not really matter.”
I close my eyes and keep my head down. Lisa lets out a small laugh.
“I don’t even know why I’m worrying about any of this. Everyone knows that feelings only matter if someone else cares about them.”
I feel my spine tingle as a chill runs through me. Lisa scares me. Even if this is a bit of an act these words feel genuine. I retreat inside in an effort to cope.
She extends her hand and caresses the fur on my earmuff.
“Your Mistress spoils you. If you were my slave I would keep you naked and in chains. Clothing is a luxury and unnecessary for someone of your status. I do have to admit though, it takes all of myself control to keep from laughing in your face whenever I see you, so maybe there is some value to dressing you up.”
Her finger tugs the ring on the front of my collar, forcing the spikes to bite into my flesh.
“How does the slave respond to this?”
“I exist to please you, Miss Lisa.”
“Yessssss.” She hisses her ‘s’ at the end.
“I’ll have to remember to thank Cassandra for this. I’ve fantasized about this rape fantasy for years. It makes me wet just thinking about it. I’ve heard this is the standard way that your Mistress ‘makes love’ to you. Trust me when I tell you that this is nothing of that sort. I want you to hurt… to struggle… to scream and cry. I will make sure that you do not enjoy it.”
My body trembles.
“Meet me in the bedroom. Face down, butt up.”
I nod in response. My body moves slowly. I have to will every action to happen as the battle between my brain and my instincts rages on. I don’t want this. I don’t want this.
In the bedroom I take slow strides toward the bed. My heart pounds. My chest heaves for breath. The agitation builds as every nerve in my body screams to run away. I bend at the waist and lay my stomach down on the bed. I spread my legs and reach my arms in the direction of the bedposts. I lie for an eternity.
I hear the door and paces across the carpet. Without a word I feel my ankles being secured to the bedposts. She pulls my hands behind my back and secures them with a lock. I begin to whimper.
“You must be hungry.”
Immediately following her words her hand crams something into my mouth. It takes only a moment for me to realize it is her panties, fresh with her juices. A leash connects to my collar. Lisa hovers at the edge of my peripherals, I crane my neck but I cannot see her. I hear another click and feel a tug on my wrists, forcing them up my back in a painful fashion. An alternating series of tugs between that and the collar leash lead me to believe she has attached a strap to my wrists.
Her hand lifts the back of my dress. The touch of fur grazes my skin. I assume she must have put on a coat or borrowed one of Mistress’s. The sound of lube on silicon reaches my ears. I begin to whimper and sob. The head spreads my thighs and finds its way to my rectum. I shift my hips forward trying to get away.
A pull on the leash keeps me in place and I feel her hand firmly on my back, holding my hands several inches above my waist. The position hurts. I make a feeble attempt to cry out.
The tip applies pressure and retreats. Pressure and retreats. I sense her toying with me. A strong push and I feel her violate me, plunging it deep inside of me. My head bucks back and I scream as the tears roll down my face. She begins to pound her hips against mine, thrusting aggressively. Her breathing shifts to a pant as she grunts louder and louder with each motion. I sob and weep. Helpless. Unable to move. I am a hole.
I am nothing but a hole.
I don’t know how much time has passed. I just know the pain has stopped. A trail of drool beads on the side of my mouth and along my cheek. My body continues to weep and sob on its own. My bottom aches. My wrists ache. My back and neck ache. I hear the click of the locks as she releases my ankles.
“Climb up on the bed.”
Lisa’s tone is noticeably different. I shove myself up and shimmy up with my knees. I feel the bed lurch as she climbs on after me. I turn my head and see her. She wears Mistress’s silver fox coat and hat. She looks like a Tsarina. The coat falls open showing her in nothing but a bra otherwise. Her eyes are red and misty. She rubs one of them with the base of her palm. She presses against my shoulder and I turn away. She doesn’t want me to see her right now.
I feel her body against mine. She must have discarded the strap on. She wraps her arms around me and I feel her shudder and weep into my back. I gently remove her saliva soaked panties from my mouth and toss them to the floor.
“What’s wrong, Miss Lisa?”
“I don’t know, fur. I’ll be back to the old Lisa tomorrow. I can’t do this.”
“Keep up this persona. I feel so fucking awful. I feel terrible. I’ve been terrible.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Look at me. I made you cry earlier for my own amusement. I just raped you while you screamed and bawled, struggling to get away from me.”
She presses her face against my back.
“You’re beautiful, Miss Lisa.”
“Don’t say that!”
“But it’s true. You’re beautiful, just as you are.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because it’s true, Miss Lisa.”
“How is that true?”
“Because, silly. It turns me on.”
She begins to laugh between the tears.
“How does Cassandra do it? How does she keep this up without feeling guilty?”
“Mistress used to cry too.”
“What got her to stop?”
“I convinced her it was okay.”
Lisa lets out a smaller laugh that resounds of disbelief.
“Can you convince me?”
“Miss Lisa, today was the most beautiful that I have ever seen you. I think you are becoming a wonderful Domme.”
“Thank you, fur. I still feel like a newbie.”
“You’re so silly, Miss Lisa. Couldn’t you tell?”
“Before, I would submit to you because it was Mistress’s instructions. Today, you forced my submission to you with your dominance.”
Lisa hugs me tightly. Her tears have stopped. She still sniffles a bit.
“Please be the new you tomorrow.”
“Yes. It’s beautiful… and I think you could use the practice.”