Saturday, April 10, 2010

Males and the Need for Punishment

First off, I will say that I am not a masochist.  I despise pain.  It is something that I take no pleasure in and would like to avoid it whenever possible.

At the same time, I can acknowledge that I fall into "typical male" habits and behaviors every so often.  I get lazy.  I get selfish.  I get willful.  As much as I wish that I could rid myself of these traits (and with some success over short periods of time), eventually my male behaviors will bleed through.  The chemical flow from our genitals seems to make us this way, giving us problems with learning lessons and abiding by that learned knowledge in our future decisions and actions.  It is pretty much unavoidable.

With that in mind, all men need punishment in order to stay focused and obedient.  I wish this were not the case but no matter how much I can try to rationalize how I wish to behave, in the long run I manage to slip up every time.  This causes strains in my relationships and hurts my own self-image as I end up failing to meet my own expectations for conduct and attitude.

Over the years the only thing that has been able to stave off typical male behaviors has been punishment.  Corporal punishment has been the most effective, with more severe punishments leading to longer periods of good behavior.  Being verbally scolded and emasculated during corporal punishment assists in driving me to a vulnerable and fragile place where my male ego can be broken down.  In this vulnerable state is where guilt over the poor conduct comes to the forefront of the mind and additional punishments like time-out or forced isolation can add to the level of meaningful reflection.

I've also found that adding sexual punishments can cause a rapid cycle of selfishness and reflection that will rapidly erode the ego.  For example, some teasing to cause arousal followed by orgasm denial will cause an immediate spike in defiance.  If that defiance is directly met with scolding as well as physical and/or isolation type punishments the male ego will crumble rapidly.  It is when I have felt like I always fail my Mistress that I am most willing to accept decisions and discomforts that she chooses. 

For some reason, without fairly regular punishment sessions I'm unable to keep myself the sub that I want to be.  I'm not proud of being this way but I acknowledge that this is how I am.

I have seen a couple of cases of men who were able to overcome these habits.  In each case the sub's ego was completely shattered to the point where they no longer though of themselves as men.  The upside for their Dommes was total obedience.  However, in each of these cases the subs were no longer able to give meaningful emotional interaction with their Dommes.  In turn, the Dommes could no longer see them as lovers and the subs were locked in chastity and turned into cuckolds that were replaced by someone else in the bedroom. 

That seems like quite a significant choice to make: to either deal with the failings of subs and punish them accordingly or break them down into chaste, cuckolded, completely obedient servants. 

In my own case, I am thankful my Mistresses have always been willing to put up with and punish me for my failings and inadequacies.

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