Monday, November 5, 2012

A new definition of subspace

I've written a lot about subspace and have often been asked to describe it.  I tend to view it as a state of mind rather than as the result of physical play as it is often portrayed (usually by writings that assume every submissive is a masochist).
In my past analysis of subspace I often viewed it as a priority shift from an inward stance (what I want) to an outward stance (what can I do for her?) in a sub's mental state that is often tied to psychological and sexual triggers.  While this may describe what I end up feeling as I progress into deeper stages of subspace, it tends to skip a few of the earlier stages.
Tonight I was thinking about how to describe it in a way that covers all stages.  What seemed to make sense to me is that in any stage, subspace is a (progressive) state of wanting more but being willing to accept less.  
In its shallowest states, a sub may crave sexual contact and fetish presence but rather than simply jerking off themselves, they relinquish control of those factors over to the Domme.  Basically, they get horny and have an increased desire for kink and sexual attention but accept a less immediate form of gratification.
This seems to hold true for most stages of subspace as well as most fetish activities.  E.g. A sub in chastity and deep subspace may dearly want to cum but instead accepts teasing and the idea of "maybe next time."  This in turn deepens their subspace and makes them crave the orgasm even more, which is what makes the disappointment of further denial so exhilarating.  A sub in an extremely deep state (bordering on slave level state) may deeply crave attention, love, praise, etc. but may simply accept not being punished as a reward for good service.  
As states deepen, the number and strength of desires may grow while the sub is willing to accept progressively less of their immediate desires.  Note:  By immediate desires I am referring to desires in the moment and not desires we rationalize while outside of subspace.
I may think about this definition a bit more.  Does anyone have any thoughts on this?


  1. I've noticed a "slave space" where you lose all perspective and the roles become real - disobediance becomes mentally impossible in the same way that going to the office naked is impossible.

    Sub space seems to over lap this... or is this part of sub space?

  2. Thank you, Giles. I believe slave space to be an extreme state of subspace and it can be explained quite well in this way. The key to this idea is that it is progressive, with each iteration creating a new set of desires and suppressing the need for previous desires to be met (aka accepting even less). In this way, slave space is is just further down the line where the sub's desires and accepted responses become extremely basic and far removed from direct sexual desire.

    I think most situations where subs must attain this level with great frequency requires a good bit of training and conditioning so that they can respond quickly to ritual or other triggers without having to "chase" them there through gradually escalating intensity.

    Does that make sense?

  3. Not sure.

    Now I think of it, my experience of what I think of as slave space is that it clicks in *before* the sub space.

    On goes the chastity belt and I am 100% obedient, just as if this was Ancient Rome.... the natural order of things. After that there can be episodes where I am sensually lost, which I take to be sub space.

    I've never experienced sub space without slave space first. Is one a prerequisite for the other, or do they simply co-exist?

    1. Giles,

      in my opinion, a chastity belt acts as a deep trigger for you. It may even be so strong for you that you can't find yourself feeling submissive without it. I can hit that state, but it usually takes a little bit of time and a lot of my submissive triggers to be present.

      I would have to ask though, when fantasizing, does the idea of a chastity belt affect you?