Thoughts on contrarianism in D/s

I'm sure that almost everyone has encountered at least one person in their lives that exhibits contrary or defiant behavior or thought processes.  They don't want to do something until they are told not to.  They don't want something until they are told they can't have it.  If something is established as popular belief they will come up with an opposing view simply because they do not want to be told what they should think.  An illogical example is the person who wants to break up with their significant other until the s.o. decides to break it off first, then they become dead set on saving the relationship.

I've never been one of these people but I am a bit fascinated by this behavior.  At times I've been curious of the roots of this all.  The best I have been able to put together is that people want to feel free and independent.  Once they feel tethered by restrictions or limited options, they feel an impulse to free themselves from them and prove that they have the power to be in control of what they want to do.  I could be wrong, this is just my own interpretation of things.

Out of the dominants I have known, the majority of them who discovered their desire for dominance at a young age seem to rarely, if ever, engage in this type of behavior.  By the time they are well into adulthood they tend to exhibit a great deal of emotional control and are more likely to think deeply before they react.  These dominants tend to know what they want and how/when they want it.

When it comes to newer dominants, that have say (as an arbitrary number), five or less years within the role, I find there's noticeable percentage that will build preferences and dynamics around contrary ideas.  Here are some examples:
-If the sub dislikes something, it makes them want to do it more.
-If the sub likes something, it makes them want to control it, limit it, deny it, or corrupt it into something the sub doesn't like.

Again, I'm not certain why this happens.  When I have spoken to Dommes of this nature they aren't even sure of why this happens but there is often a sexual response.    When I read into it, it leads me to believe that the core is probably linked to their understanding of power and control.  They see power as the ability to make someone do what they do not want to do and control as the ability to limit what acts the sub partakes in regardless of the sub's preferences.  In many cases, the opposing nature of the sub's preferences will outweigh nearly all of their established kinks up to that point.  I personally find this to be absolutely fascinating as this has the ability to shape a developing Domspace.

I also find it a bit terrifying.  In cases where "fit" is concerned, both parties approach a potential relationship with their own preferences in mind and see how well they line up and whether or not compromise is possible.  A contrary dominant may have some principles they will not budge on, but with many other activities they will adapt themselves around the sub.  "Oh, that feels good?  I will stop now and never do that ever again.  Oh, this hurts and is uncomfortable?  I will make sure to do it from now on."  In a way, it is personally tailoring cruelty and has the potential to be very intimidating.

From a submissive perspective this is an odd idea to think about.  Having all of my preferences countered perfectly drives me deep into submissive mental space.  If all of the rules and dynamics were crafted around these principles, it would be a fearsome lifestyle to behold.