Blah blah blah, follow up to Part 1 disclaimers and stuff.
In F/m, similar to M/f, you will find a variety of styles of
dominance. Well, there are actually probably fewer styles of dominance
in F/m. Mommies make up such an astronomically small percentage of
Dommes that you can almost pretend like they don’t exist, and thus,
there aren’t really any reference to MD/lb dynamics. You won’t find
much in the way of brat tamers either. Very few Dommes will tolerate
bratty male subs. You will find very few male pets in F/m. Basically,
if you can picture a Domme asking, “so… what’s in it for me?”, it
probably doesn’t exist or occurs in such small numbers that it appears
to be nonexistent.
For the most part, you can separate Dommes into two primary styles of
dominance (and this works similarly for male Doms from my
experiences). I wrote about this in Accountable?
but basically, there are dominants that like to have loads of rules,
protocols, and punishments and dominants that want to have the bare
minimum of those things (if at all) and expect the sub to be able to
comply on their own. To try to summarize it more simply, the first type
truly enjoys exercising control. The second type prefers
self-motivated compliance.
One major aspect that tends to happen regardless of type is that male
subs should expect to lose their sexual freedom. Most Dommes will want
to regulate and control a sub’s orgasms right out of the gate. This
may involve simple self-control, but may also lead to chastity, ruined
orgasms, and milking. Male subs drop out of submissive mental space
when they achieve an orgasm and it may take them up to several days to
reach the same level of attentiveness as they did pre-orgasm. Since
this may be undesirable, it is quite common for Dommes to severely limit
the frequency of a sub’s orgasms.
Another big difference with F/m is that a lot of the dominance is
more passive in nature than M/f. A lot of it revolves around pampering
and requires more service-oriented submission. It is common for a Domme
to take great pleasure in having their sub on hand to give them foot
rubs, back rubs, or neck rubs. She may want him to paint her finger or
toe nails and in some cases, have him learn to give manicures or
pedicures. She may want him to wait on her, give her oral pleasure
whenever she wants it, and take care of any task she may give him. He
may wash her body in a bath, brush her hair, and do a lot of things that
cater more to a Domme’s love of adoring attention moreso than whips and
chains. That isn’t to say that play doesn’t happen, it’s just that a
lot more of the lifestyle tends to revolve around dominance and
submission that occurs outside of the bedroom.
Another common factor that is very popular in F/m but often is very
hit or miss in M/f, is the idea of symbolic dominance. Many Dommes
really enjoy rituals, body/foot worship, queening, CFNM, and the like
that empower her with a sense of status and entitlement. These often
serve as turn-ons and create an environment that appeals to her
emotional arousal and her dominance. Do you NEED to have a sub kneeling
naked on the floor, prostrated with his forehead pressed to the floor
and his arms extended above him? No, but making him hold that position
might ignite something inside of her so she makes him do it.
I guess what I’m getting at is that there are some differences
between M/f and F/m, but not in the ways that porn might portray them to
be.
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