Blah blah, follow up to Part 1 and Part 2, stuff, disclaimers, reasons.
This is the last of these I intend to write unless people have ideas
for additional topics. The intent isn’t to bring up every possible F/m
scenario, but more to illustrate some of the common concepts of the
lifestyle.
This last section banks heavily upon a concept that I have written
about in the past and called, Progressive Escalation. Progressive
escalation is the idea that as time passes, that the intensity of D/s
dynamics will increase. Dominants will become more dominant.
Submissives will become more submissive. What once felt like a rush
becomes boring and so you push the envelope into new territory to bring
back the same level of excitement. Most of the time when you encounter a
couple that practices dynamics that have you thinking, “OMG HOW COULD
THEY DO THIS??? IT’S SO MEAN!”, they have been together for quite a
while. Often it takes several years for them to hit their first
plateau, but the dulling of activities and desire to take things deeper
gets more and more common the farther you go.
With that in mind, it’s tough to judge a couple who have been
practicing D/s for 15 years through the lens of a newbie because it is
impossible to see the trust, love, and connection that has developed
over years. It is impossible to know how things grew to that point
without seeing the full story. Isolated events don’t show the
progression from point A to B to C to now and so on.
Don’t get me wrong, you will find accounts of things getting VERY
intense. They aren’t for the faint of heart. They aren’t for the
newbies. What you always have to remember is that most of these
dynamics are happily consensual.
You will find male subs that haven’t had an orgasm in 5 years. If
you were to ask him, he will probably tell you that he is happy, madly
in love, and loves what orgasm denial does for his submission.
You will find male subs that are forced to wear women’s clothing
around the house, do all of the cooking, cleaning, and chores. They are
often kept chaste and occasionally the Domme will take on another male
bull who has a bigger penis and greater sexual endurance and force her
sub to suck his semen from her. The sub may be punished for even the
slightest infraction. If you were to ask him, he will probably tell you
that he is happy, madly in love, and loves what this does for the
relationship and his submission.
I was going to write more examples, but honestly, I think the second
one encompassed like half the stuff that freaks people out at once.
Most F/m relationships still retain a level of respect. They almost
certainly maintain an intense shared love. Both parties are often
supremely happy. There may be dynamics that make a lot of people
cringe. Humiliation and degradation don’t appeal to all. Some may get
there over time. Others never will.
Time changes everything. That weekly maintenance spanking may seem
so huge at the start. After a year, it probably doesn’t feel quite the
same. A lot of people also haven’t seen what a dominant, fully
confident and with their sadism unleashed, is capable of evolving to
over time. That growth wouldn’t have been possible without the love,
support, and submission of a loving sub.
Dommes don’t add more rules and crank up the dominance because they
hate their sub. Dommes add more rules and crank up the dominance
because they love their sub and their sub loves it too. Sometimes,
it’s just not very easy to see how it got to there.
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