Thoughts about Poly

A good friend of mine recently asked me for my serious thoughts on poly.  I’d thought about it a bit in the past, once as a possibility when I started to give up hope of finding a Domme, and the rest has mostly been in the fantasy realm.  I do find it interesting to think about though, so here are my thoughts spinning upon them.

I’m really not all that fond of an F/m/m situation.  I wouldn’t be 100% against it though.  My criteria for this though would be that I would still have to be the #1 sub, and I would prefer it if there was limited sexual contact between the Domme and #2.  I could see myself accepting this if #2 were to positively contribute to our lives.  Someone to help with bills, putting food on the table, and the like wouldn’t be bad.  Someone willing to take on all the crappiest chores that I hate doing wouldn’t be bad.  Someone willing to take on the certain types of play that I really do not like wouldn’t be all bad.  I would probably have to be friends with this person first.  I’m not sure how viable this is.  That being said, I would not be 100% opposed to this, it just doesn’t really “do it” for me aside from a functional standpoint.

F/f/m is different for me.  I have thought about this quite a lot and there was even a time when T and I put up an ad seeking a woman to be our 3rd.  From a fantasy standpoint, I can only picture myself as being the lower ranking sub.  That is, while we would both be subs, she would have the power to give me commands as well.  While I’m pretty sure that I would be able to handle this in reality, I’m not sure if the long-run existence would be as desirable as say, us being equal where we both contribute on the service side of things.  The “she outranks me” scenario definitely speaks more strongly to my submissive mental space.

The rest of it gets really complicated.  Would I want her to respect me?  Probably, although it might get really interesting if she didn’t.  Would I want us both to be the Domme’s lovers, or would I want her to be favored in this regards?  Realistically, I would probably prefer to still feel a strong romantic connection, but I am curious as to what it might feel like to be limited or restricted.  e.g. I only get romantic attention if the other sub is not there.

Would I want her to be nice/kind to me?  At times, probably, but I’m not sure about all the time.  It seems like it might be exciting if she had some evil in her and was a bit jealous.  My gut tells me a switch would be a better fit than a full sub.

I could actually see a lifestyle being lived in a way that would be very sexy and fun for all of us.  I think it could be sustainable.  It would probably take a good while to find the right fit and build enough trust to make it work, but it’s something I would be open to trying.  Although, it would be a lot better if she also liked fur.