Thursday, May 20, 2010

Thoughts on Public Humiliation

A recent post over at got me thinking a bit about public humiliation.  Thinking in the way that I do when I decide to write about something to explore it and clarify some thoughts and feelings on it.  Many subs (especially sissies) desire or at least fantasize about public humiliation but it's usually within a set of boundaries in order to yield certain reactions and moving outside the boundaries will probably generate negative reactions from the sub.

Before I go too far into it, I should probably look at what types of public humiliation there are.  The way I see it, public humiliation basically has two primary outcomes:
1.  Humiliation that yields arousal, exhilaration, and emotional vulnerability in a sub.  I would call these good/bad feelings since they are in fact, being humiliated.
2.  Humiliation that yields bad feelings, self-disgust, and emotional vulnerability in a sub.  I would call these bad/bad feelings since there is no pleasure for the sub within the experience.

Public humiliation meant as punishment is probably most effective when the desired outcome is a bad/bad experience.  Public humiliation meant to inflict both agitation and arousal in a sub are probably best reserved for good/bad experiences.  Each sub is different in what will yield each type of results but there are some common themes.  

A few common scenarios:
-Being humiliated in front of women who are strangers.
-Being humiliated in front of women who are known.
-Being humiliated in front of men who are strangers.
-Being humiliated in front of men who are known.
-Being humiliated in front of both men and women.
-Being humiliated in front of a family member (or multiple members).
When dealing with good/bad humiliation, I think a lot of insight into the submissive psyche can be derived from what type of public humiliation a sub desires. 

I could be wrong, but I would guess that a sub who wants to be humiliated in front of people they know, deep down desires to have their submissiveness acknowledged by those people they know.  By having that happen they will be forced to continuously deal with those people with them knowing their big secret.  If they can treat them normally that is fine, but in some cases they probably desire to be teased about it. 

A sub that wishes to be humiliated in front of strangers may have dual desires.  On one hand they don't want any repercussions from the experience.  If they will never see that person again that is fine.  However, I think there is some latent desire to have one of the strangers play along and get to know them.  In this way they can save the difficult step of having to explain their desires for humiliation and this person will go along with the fantasy accepting them for who they are.

Based upon my experiences interacting with sissies, most of them that I have come into contact with that desire humiliation in front of men are either gay or bisexual (even if they haven't admitted that to themselves).  Often the humiliation provides a buffer for those desires and allows them to take part in activities they normally would avoid without guilt or shame beyond the humiliation itself.

A man who wishes to be humiliated in front of women will often seek some feelings of inferiority or inadequacy.  Many humiliation fantasies involving women also tend to hope for active sexual interaction by the women.  If that were to happen I think part of the desire roots in a longing to interact sexually with said women who will accept him as he is.  It's a win-win situation in the mind.  If she laughs and rejects you that is fine since it reaffirms your feelings of inadequacy, but if she accepts you and has you service her that's even better. 

Overall, it seems much of the public humiliation can serve validate a sub's desires and beliefs about himself.

In reality, public humiliation raises some interesting moral dilemmas.  If you are humiliated in public in some way you are forcing any innocent bystanders to take part in the act of humiliation.  While many onlookers might get a good laugh and enjoy it there are others that may be completely offended by what is happening and wished that they hadn't been there. 

This can be a slippery slope and it tends to swivel upon a person's definition of consent in a BDSM scenario. 

Having experienced both good/bad and bad/bad types of humiliation I can say that a lot of the feelings brought on by the experience are dependent upon the reactions of those you are humiliated in front of.  Overall, when a reaction from a bystander is turning a blind eye and body language wishing they weren't there it seems to trigger a lot of negative feelings within me.  This type of reaction has turned situations that should have been good/bad into bad/bad experiences. 

I might just have too much of a stereotypical male fantasy when it comes to public humiliation.  I only desire to be humiliated in front of women who are either strangers or those that know me in the lifestyle and only if they are willing active participants.  The fact that this "gets me off" leads me to more questions about myself but I will have to tackle those another time.

Any comments?


  1. Excellent post! I do like public humiliation, and you hit all the risk factors right on the head.

  2. Thank you very much for the comments.