Thursday, July 21, 2016

A Sea of Thoughts: D-Bags in Fetish Communities

I'm trying to find a way to write this without it coming off as an all out rant.  I'm guessing the people I am frustrated with probably won't ever read these words but here goes.

I'm currently watching a few fetish communities I am a part of go through some difficulties because of a demographic that has been a problem for as long as I can remember in any and every type of fetish community that I have ever been a part of.  The problem revolves around men that harass women.

Not every medium of social interaction is a place for finding a date or partner.  A random woman that a man approaches is not responsible for providing masturbation material for that man.  If she isn't posting in the personal ads, assume she is not interested.  Don't be creepy.  I don't understand why it is so common for men to bury their head deeply in their ass and forget about any type of courtesy, manners, and appropriate behavior whem confronted with kink or fetish.  This is ugly and reinforces awful stereotypes and stigmas.

Logic gets so ass-backwards that it's like people don't even realize that they have no chance in hell of impressing a woman in this way.  It will push her away. If whatever you are doing would get a drink thrown in your face in a bar, why would it work on the internet?   I just don't get it.

Driving away the thing you want the most is just stupid.  Making women so uncomfortable they want nothing to do with the community is just stupid.  Internet communities shouldn't have to be police states to be successful.

End rant.


  1. Yeah….I know.


    This is one of the reasons I don’t like men much...yes of course there are exceptions but many have qualities I detest.

    Huffington Post and others have written about the nearly unbelievable misogyny with online works in entirely vanilla contexts. It makes me extremely angry and very sad.

    And then we move to some of the kink-related sewers....

    I avoid places like that--any benefit isn’t worth the internal upset I experience.

    The internet has so much potential, unfortunately it seems to be populated by people. Reminds me of a joke about France.

    1. Thank you, Watson.

      I should learn to tune it out but it bums me out as I try to interact in more places only to find a lot of hostility or negativity due to this. It ruins my own mindset and I find myself unable to write and just ends up frustrating me.

  2. Yeah...I understand.

    Some things are just too emotional for me to block out. I can go there, but then all my energy gets used up being upset and arguing with idiots and then I move into an angry/frustrated/depressed is just lose-lose for me.

    1. Those are my exact thoughts as well, Watson. As the web has slowed lately I've been looking elsewhere for inspiration. Sadly some of these events manage to squash my desire to write more than boost it.

  3. Not to be political (perish the thought!) but considering the outspoken misogyny of a certain candidate, is it any wonder that internet misogyny is flourishing?

    1. I can't say for sure Lady Grey.

      The biggest change between now and when I was active 3-4 years ago is that the women who have stuck around those groups tend to be a little bit angrier and a LOT more jaded, which says things have probably gotten worse on that front instead of better.