Over the past few days I have finally found some nooks and crannies on the web that make me feel a bit more comfortable and safer with interacting and sharing thoughts, feelings, and ideas. Something has felt a bit strange though and I'm having trouble putting my finger on it.
I have often prided myself as being an open-minded thinker with a capacity to empathize, analyze, and discuss complicated personal and emotional topics. Recently I've felt something that I haven't felt since I was a newbie in the lifestyle and digging around for information and ideas... I'm finding a lot of people that have "better" thoughts than I do and are far more eloquent at conveying these thoughts and ideas than I have ever been.
I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing, it's just a new and different feeling that I'm not accustomed to having. Since I returned from my extended blogging break I have found myself a lot more relaxed in my points of view. I am a lot more tolerant and open about how things differ from my own feelings. I am a lot less likely to try and impose viewpoints upon others. This has shown up in my writing quite a bit as I am now more apt to make a "sea of thoughts" post and float ideas around rather than my old method of writing an outline-based "article" that defines and justifies some ideas with a conclusion at the end.
I can't tell if this is a sign of maturity or if I've just gotten dumber. It could also be a sign that I'm writing from a set of ideas and memories rather than reflecting on feelings that I experienced earlier in the day. In any case it makes me want to step up and get back to a point where I feel like I'm someone who can write something interesting to say.
While I do know there are merits to simply making comments that are of a "thank you" or "good luck" nature, I think I am defaulting to these too often and not delving deeper into the thoughts and emotions that made me feel good about writing in the first place.
Just some food for thought I guess.