The Missing Piece

Even though I wrote ~20k words this weekend I can't help but feel aomething is a little bit off.  Something doesn't sit quite right in regards to the feelings (or lack of).  After giving it some thought the difference is that I haven't been able to consistently channel an artificial state of subspace to fuel things.  I think this is why it hasn't felt quite right.  In previous chapters the feedback I have received hasn't noticed much of a difference between chapters written while in subspace vs. out but the feelings in my heart while writing are definitely different.

As I was coming up for this post title it reminded me of a children's book by the same name that I read by Shel Silverstein, the king of meaningful metaphoric children's stories that end up making you feel like shit once you understand the deeper meaning.

If you aren't familiar with the story, the main character is a pacman looking incomplete circle that wanders around miserably while feeling incomplete, searching for that piece that will complete him.  He keeps searching, trying piece after piece, only to have them all not fit until... he finally locates the piece that completes him perfectly.  With his new round shape he begins trucking around, going faster and faster in the ecstacy of finding his perfect match.  Eventually he goes so fast that he loses control, only to crash, lose his perfect fit, and return to a state of miserable wandering.

While this could easily be a comparison for many things in life, it perfectly describes the role that submission holds in my life... and sometimes that makes me a little sad.