Thursday, October 5, 2017

Redundancy in D/s

Redundancy is one of those words that often carries a negative connotation with it.  Unnecessary.  Superfluous.  Excess.  When we deal with it in the world it can often seem tedious, wasteful, and bureaucratic.

However, I find redundancy in design to be fascinating.  Fail-safes.  Checks and balances.  Backup systems.  Contingencies.  Everyone has probably seen some movie or TV show where some secret agent type character enters the secret lair which requires like 57 different security checks to get in.  Palm print, retinal scan, password, vocal recognition, and the like... often in addition to a key of some sort.  The more redundant security measures are in place, the more important whatever is being guarded must be, right?

Most D/s relationships have some amount of redundancy built into them.  However, just how much varies by a great amount and often says a lot about a particular Domme's philosophy on the lifestyle.

A Domme that wishes to oversee and control nearly every aspect of a sub's life will likely have a load of redundant measures in place.  A Domme that believes a sub should do everything of their own free will, likely has very few redundant measures in place.

I tend to look at each measure of control as a layer.  It begins with an idea or ideal.  The idea evolves into a rule.  A rule can have consequences.  Consequences can escalate.  Revisions and provisions can be made. 

If the Domme orders the sub not to touch themselves without supervision or permission, this may become a rule.  Breaking the rule may have a punishment or dismissal.  She may have him wear a chastity device so that he can’t get fully erect or touch himself.  She may add spikes to the device so that he will experience pain if he even attempts to get hard.  But what if he agreed not to touch himself from the get go and obeyed this order?

Assuming the relationship is consensual and that both parties want to create the same sort of lifestyle together, the rules, punishments, and/or devices become redundant, so why do it?  At the core of the relationship, a lot of rules are unnecessary.  You don’t need to force the willing.  So why do it?

I can understand the desire not to.  If a sub is worth a damn and their head and their heart are in the right place, he shouldn’t need any type of external motivation to want to obey.  Yet some people still do it. 

You can make a case for security.  Each layer increases the chances that the positive outcome will occur.  The more layers, the greater the chance the Domme has of the sub behaving in the way that she finds most pleasing.  This can beneficial to both parties.

You can make a case for sadism/masochism.  Exercising greater control and behavior management can cater to desirable dynamics if the parties enjoy these things. 

Personally, I don’t need any types of justifications.  I think having layers of redundant measures are romantic as hell.  I want to be perfect for her.  I want her to keep me forever.  Every rule she adds, every consequence, every stipulation, and every limitation tells me that she cares.  She wants me to be the best version of me.  She wants to test the capacity of what I can handle.  She is guiding me to an existence where she wants to keep me forever.  How great would that feel?

I like to think that my submission has worth.  It is part of me that makes me as “worthy” as I can be.  I like to use it to prove myself.  I like to show my devotion, dedication, and love.  I like to think that my willingness to accept her layers helps to show this too.  I shows that I believe in her to do what is best for me.  I like to think that she thinks this is romantic, too.

Deep down, I feel like the security card, the access code, the palm print scanner, the retina scan, the voice recognition, the secret passwords, the digital combination, and the synchronized key turn must be guarding something very valuable.  If that valuable thing is me… the thought of that makes me tingle in my heart and get weak in the knees.

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