Thoughts on a Friday

My blog traffic really exploded this week both in views and the number of interactions.  I know that Nora's link helped out quite a bit on that front. 

Something interesting happened.  Over the years I have had many types of interactions.  Praise or thanks.  Insults and disgust.  Disagreements and debates.  Support and empathy or sympathy.  Suggestion and constructive criticism.  Expansive discussion.  But this was a first.

This week I finally got teased (on Wordpress).  It wasn't mean-spirited, just friendly and playful teasing but on the aspects of myself that I am the most embarrassed and ashamed about.  It felt wonderful and made me feel so very submissive.  I am very grateful to have experienced this and to those who helped on that front, thank you so very much.

I do have a couple of friends that will tease me about things, but they are people that have known me for years and I am pretty grounded with how they feel about me.  It feels very different to be teased by someone that I am less familiar with.  It "kicks" a little harder and then the reality sinks in that, "this is how they see me."  Every time I think back to it, those feelings resurface.  It makes me blush and shiver.  I feel like it puts me in my place... at the bottom of the totem pole.

I'm cringing at the thought of sharing more about the deepest shame within me, but it's almost like I'm a moth being drawn to the flame.

Thank you, everyone, for reading.  The likes and comments really keep me going.

Take care.