No relationship is ever inherently 50/50. There are always compromises to be made where one party's preferences are more closely met and the other is forced to compromise their preferences in order to keep the relationship functioning. The D/s dynamic is so interesting since its inherent foundation is one where the submissive party willing accepts to compromise nearly everything while the Dominant rarely if ever has to compromise anything at all.
While I like to consider myself to be a rational creature capable of making wise and responsible decisions, is that really the case when it comes to the D/s lifestyle?
By willingly entering into the submissive role I accept the following negatives:
I cannot make decisions for myself that interrupt my life/availability without permission.
I understand that my own desires and preferences will only be met if they are also shared by my Domme.
I will have to perform actions and tasks that I find unpleasant under threat of punishment.
I give up control over my sexual activity and accept that any sexual activity may occur in an unpleasant way.
I will undergo bodily harm and/or loss of freedoms/privileges for failing to meet my Domme's wishes.
The parameters of our relationship may change drastically at any time without my consent.
The submissive role grants me the following positives:
To be able to focus on my Domme's wishes to such an extent that I am not burdened by my own personal issues.
To be accepted by my Domme even with all of my "weird" idiosyncrasies.
A lifestyle that regularly includes my fetishes and turn-ons.
So... while I'd like to think that deep down I have a nobler purpose, in reality I'm a much more basic and borderline despicable in some ways. With submission I get to leave my baggage at the door. With submission she already accepts the things about me that would probably cause a vanilla woman to ditch me on the spot (or at least want to). With submission there's lots of things that get me off.
I guess in reality submission is a way for me to shed (or at least have a break from) my insecurities. It's easier in a lot of ways to have someone else directly determine your worth. This is something that happens all the time in subversive ways, so it's nice to have things laid out in such a straight-forward manner.
I feel like I should be ashamed of myself but I'm not sure if that's the right choice or if I should just accept that this is me. I guess as long as I can make a woman happy I should just roll with it and be happy about that.