Self-Maintenance through self-induced submissive mental space

Originally Written: 10/19/17   (Oops, I posted this one out of order)

 

As I’ve mentioned that active D/s has been absent from my life for the past few years, I have found a means of coping with the ache of submissive withdrawls and sub-frenzy that I thought other people might find helpful. 

 

Self-maintenance can come in quite handy if the dynamics in your relationship wax and wane, if you find yourself single, or just feel yourself losing control over your moods.  Doing so requires a good bit of understanding of your own submissive mental space and its triggers.  A trigger can be almost anything: a thought, an act, a phrase, an article of clothing, an environmental variable, etc. that manages to “speak to you” on a submissive level and cause a shift from your vanilla persona to your submissive mental space (or deeper space if you are already there).

Triggers range widely from person to person and are not always pleasant in nature.  The root of a trigger is often symbolic.  Trauma often leads to the strongest impression to make triggers effective.  I often find the key to triggers are that they open up our deep sense of vulnerability.  Life has a tendency to make us guarded and habitually protective of the deeper and more tender parts of our nature.  Applying a trigger allows us to force that vulnerability to the surface and allows us to access the submissive state that can feel so precious when we need it.

I have been doing self-maintenance for several years now and find it to be “enough of a fix” to keep from going crazy.  Being able to relax for a few minutes and enter a bit of a trance fantasy state while you have your triggers present (or can fantasize about a scenario involving them) you may find yourself able to slip into the mental space that feels like it would if it were to be actually happening.  It likely won’t be quite as good as the real thing, but it’s often better than nothing.

I did this yesterday during a series of posts and noticed that my tone changed significantly as well as my feelings while writing.  I went from feeling a bit confrontational to sensitive and genuinely introspective, able to delve into the root of the feelings that were giving me agitation.  I would share my triggers that I’m, but I’m a bit too embarrassed about it right now and not feeling nearly submissive enough to put it out there.

If you haven’t been aware of this technique and find yourself struggling with the ache, hopefully this idea might be of some help.