Thoughts on Domestic Service

Originally Written: 10/12/17

There are times when I wish I was one of those people that was a neat freak.  You know, those types that get off on making everything clean and organized.  I am not one of those people.  I’m not dirty or filthy, but I’m more about not making a mess than I am about cleaning.

I’ve met a number of dominants over the years that I haven’t really seen eye to eye with.  This is often one of the subjects at hand.  They want someone that wants to clean.  I never want to clean, but I am willing to clean.  This is a very crucial difference to some.

It is my lack of natural desire to performing tedious tasks and chores that makes a punishment dynamic a necessity for me to be happy.  Do I need the threat of the lash to scrub a toilet?  Hell no.  Does the threat of a lash make me happy to scrub a toilet?  Yes, because the idea of a punishment puts me into a submissive mental space.  It isn’t a deterrent.  It isn’t just words or posturing.  I would not fail her on something so trivial.  I would lose self-respect if I couldn’t get ordinary things done.  There’s just that difference between doing it while knowing I hate it vs. doing it while immersed in subspace and the thought of disappointing her is crushing.

Does this make me a lesser submissive?  To some, yes, to others, no.  The people who think “yes” tend to be people who are not a good fit.

I assume that I will be performing domestic service.  I assume it always.  I just have different facets of my person that have their own points of view on this and which one surfaces the most varies day by day, moment by moment.  The adult in me knows that if I was living alone, I would be performing my own domestic service unless I was content living in a total nasty pigsty, which I am not.  Now, I might not clean as regularly or frequently as some, but I will never have flies, ants, or rotting anything ever.

From a submissive ideal standpoint, yes, I should want to do it because I want to make her happy.  From another submissive standpoint (the one closer to my feelings) is that the thought of her performing tedious tasks pains me, so I would rather do it than subject her to it.

To be honest, I’ve always been curious where the idea of domestic service as a dynamic came from.  I know there are those with a fetish for no-strings house cleaning, but they are often unicorns.  To be honest, I believe the roots come from a bit of backlash against the traditional patriarchal home.  Go back 50 years and most women would run the household, taking care of all of the domestic tasks.  That was her role.  Unfortunately, when the majority of women went back into the workforce, it seems there was a lag and she was still responsible for the majority of the domestic tasks.  If she could manage to work, cook, clean, and do laundry, why couldn’t a man do it too?

This isn’t a sexy way of looking it at, but my gut tells me that this may fall somewhere in its early origins.

The sexier idea is that the woman should feel like a pampered Goddess, Queen, Domina, or some other role of elevated status within the household.  She should be free to enjoy all that life has to offer while her servants take care of the menial labor.

I’m not really sure.  In most modern households the chores are shared, although not always equally.  In D/s, while some couples share chores, many do not.  FLR is one of the examples of unilateral distribution of chores.

I will admit that I have a bit of “wanker sub” in me and  I get exhilarated by the fact that being expected to do everything without praise or thanks is unfair.   I do, however, accept the reality that I will likely be the one performing domestic duties whether I like them or not.