Thursday, May 12, 2016

Reflections part 2b: Learning and Training

Continued from part 2.  This is sort of the elaborated version of what I wrote in my "How I became a sissy" post.  I realize that the previous telling of this has some of the events in a different order and told in a slightly different way.  I think I was a bit ashamed and embarrassed when I wrote that and moved them around to make me appear like less of a freak and to improve the flow for its shortened state.

Since we lived a good distance apart, for the next few months we would spend a few days together and a few weeks apart as I finished up my last semester of college and started planning for our future with the idea of me relocating to be with her.  Days we weren't together involved lots of phone and chat time.

To say that K took D/s and her role of Domme seriously would be an understatement.  Every day my mailbox was full of assignments or things to read.  She wanted to know anything and everything about my kinks and fetishes, fantasies, and the like.  She would start her training in advance and it would be put into practice when we were together, each time building up the intensity of our relationship. With her as a fledgling Domme and myself as a novice sub, we were growing together in our roles.

"Make a list of 10 hard limits."
"Make a list of 10 soft limits."
"Make a list of 5 fantasies you might like to try sometime."
"Send me 5 pictures that turn you on."
"Find me 5 fiction stories that turn you on."
"Write 250 words daily in a journal about our experiences together."
"Make a list of 5 things you would like to change about yourself."
"Find 5 items at an online store you think would be fun for play."

From her background in the lifestyle, everything was by the book.  Acceptable activities known in advance.  Limits known in advance.  Safe words.  Green/Yellow/Red.  As I got more comfortable in my role I began to open up more and more about the things that were stirring within me and things got more and more serious.  We planned a collaring ceremony.  We were wanting to get married.

At first, K kept me naked except for a collar and leather wrist and ankle cuffs.  When she was away she had me wear a small bell around my neck 24-7, which I was allowed to keep under my shirt in public.  As things went on, I bared all.  I told her all the things that would turn me on. In a few short months it turned out I was a pretty kinky boy.  Some things were D/s related:  collars, cuffs, leashes, hoods, gags, spreader bars, body worship, cunnilingus, speech/eye contact restrictions, etc.  Others were a little different, especially in regards to how she dressed: fur, leather, boots, gloves, hats, stockings, bustiers/corsets, etc.

It turns out we were a very good match in these areas.  She didn't mind that I wasn't a masochist because she liked that punishments were more pain than pleasure.   I asked her if we could get a locking collar and cuffs.  K asked me why did they need locks, since she didn't foresee me removing them without permission.  I had trouble answering.  She asked me if I she ordered some food if I would answer the door wearing them.  I told her I thought I would be too embarrassed to do that.  She said, "I guess we'll have to get ones that lock."  I whispered to her, "Thank you, they would also make me feel like I'm kept only by you and you'll never let me go."  K smiled at me. 

I still remember how bashful I was, blushing as I admitted to her about being super turned on by a woman in fur. Most of the same clothing turned her on as well and made her feel sexy, but she didn't have a lot of experience with fur. We went right to the store and she bought a fur scarf.  It took K about 3 minutes to realize that rubbing it on her breasts, cheeks, and clit was something she really loved, and also teasing me by rubbing my face, nipples, and penis which turned me on quite a bit.  During our next apart time K accumulated an entire wardrobe: a leather coat with a huge fur collar and cuffs, some long leather gloves, a couple of fur scarves, several pairs of fur-trimmed boots, a fur hat, fur headband, and some fur-trimmed beanies (she wore beanies a lot).  She would send me pics modeling it, letting me know how wet it made her to wear it and loved that it got me super aroused as well.  What followed would change things for me forever. 

K was very big on people being comfortable with their fetishes.  She felt no one should feel embarrassed or ashamed and she wanted me to embrace it all.  Our next time together we went out shopping and was absolutely convinced that she would make me comfortable wearing fur.  She picked out a biker vest with fur-trimmed arm holes, a collar, and trim at the hem and a leather and fur Attila the Hun type hat and asked me if I would wear them.  I said probably not and I would rather spend the money on more things for her.  She reminded me she was convinced she would find a way.  I mentioned possibly a fur-lined leather jacket and I'm not sure why she rejected that idea, my only guess is that K felt it had to appear noticeably fluffy to count and wanted me comfortable with that.

She began to up the teasing factor, purposefully choosing more feminine items and saying they would look great on me and asking if I would wear them.  The worse things got the more embarrassed it made me and eventually I couldn't speak, I would just look at the ground.  I got the feeling that K was trying to get me to choose the vest and hat she had picked out earlier.  She could tell this was affecting me a bit too intensely and we left it at that for the time being.

A few things to be known about K's style of dominance:
-She valued symbolism.  Anything to mark me as hers was something she thought was very special and important and she would search for things that fit this bill.  

-She was a fierce micro-manager.  Everything required permission.  Permission to kneel, permission to stand.  Permission to touch her, permission to cum.  Permission to go to the bathroom.

-She had a little book and every time I made a mistake she added a mark. Each mark equaled 2 swats.  She would choose the time for punishment and would work off the marks with a paddle.

-She was a firm believer in "time out."  I didn't have any form of cage at my place so time out was spent with me kneeling in the corner with my hands behind my head.  This would last from anywhere from 15 minutes to 4 hours depending upon how disappointed she was.

-"No" was a trigger word to her.  "A submissive is never permitted to say 'no,'" she would remind me.

When K was in her domspace, if I let a "no" slip, it unleashed her wrath.
"What did you say to me?" Mark in the book.  I remained silent.  "What did you say to me?"
"No," Mark in the book.
"No what?"  Mark in the book.
"No, Mistress"
"Are you allowed to say that?"  Mark in the book.  I remained silent.  Mark in the book.  "What did you say to me?"
"Yes, Mistress."
"I don't think you said that the first time, you're lying to me aren't you?" Ten marks in the book.
"Yes, Mistress, I'm sorry, Mistress."

I learned quickly that if I was going to say no to anything, it had better be something really important.

To be continued.