Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Why I'm struggling to write

Over the past year I haven't written much.  I have tried on several occasions to write just to keep things going but I've usually deleted the drafts before posting them live. 

I've really started to hate what I write lately.  I seem to be rehashing the same things over and over (albeit the posts may be years apart) and when I do write something, I feel like I'm coming off as some sort of obnoxious know it all. 

A few years ago I found it easy to write.  D/s was a more regular part of my life and I was in contact with a good number of people both through the internet (email, blogs, messenger) as well as in real life that shared similar interests.  There was plenty of inspiration to go around and numerous conversations to give me ideas.  Without that contact I find it incredibly difficult to come up with anything new.

If anyone has any questions, ideas, or thoughts they would like me to explore, please let me know.  


  1. I've just read your two previous postings, and now this one, and I have a few thoughts for you. When you write, you tend toward the conceptual side of things rather than the experiential. You love exploring the "ideas" of D/s, and you do it well, but there's little about your personal experiences. That works for me (as a reader), but I wonder if it's off-putting for many who explore these D/s related blogs. There's no doubt that a great many readers are more interested in titillation than philosophy, and there are certainly more comments from readers when a blog entry has more graphic experiential content. Let's be honest - most readers are men seeking a platform to "get off" on, and are probably bored by the drier aspects of conceptual writing.

    Years ago, you were more graphic and personal in your blogging, interspersing actual events with philosophical musings. Gradually, you went nearly all philosophical, and I know you were frustrated with the lack of response. It's hard to write when you feel that nobody is listening, and I reject the idea that blogging should not rely on commentary from others. For most of us, including me, writing in a vacuum is no fun at all, and comments from others invariably lead to more blogging, as well as more thinking. I have no doubt that you'd write more if you were getting more responses.

    In summary, I'd recommend that you include more personal experiences in your writing. For instance, in an entry just before this one, you list a variety of things that could - and perhaps should - be further explained. You ended the list by saying that you had been "conditioned to".....etc. I, and I'm sure others, would like to hear the hows, whats, and whens of that simple statement. So share them with us. Who knows where that could lead, but I'd wager that that sort of information would not only elicit more response, but might also charge your writing batteries.

    As always, be well.

  2. Thank you for the comments, Lady Grey.

    I know that you are correct on this. I believe it was approximately 5 years ago that Mistress had surgery and that was pretty much the end of our D/s interactions and play. We haven't had sex since then or engaged in much intimacy at all. That also sort of spelled the end of new experiences for me to write about and I believe that's also when the disconnect began to happen in my writing.

    I really miss the yahoo ping box, which went defunct in 2012. There were quite a few readers that I kept in touch with through that, as there are quite a few readers who wish to keep their internet selves very private and were unwilling to stay in contact via other methods. I have 3-4 email addresses and messenger accounts I save for D/s purposes only and include no actual personal information, but not everyone is willing to go that route.

    Commenting on blogs other than my own was also a pretty big muse although at some point things became very difficult on this front as well due to my chosen internet persona.

    I know these are just excuses and as I think about it I am curious as to how I would reflect upon earlier events now that a greater amount of time has passed (It's been 12+ years since I got into the lifestyle).

  3. May I suggest to publish your drawings and writings on deviantart? You can start with your existing drawings, the ones you like the most. The reason I'm suggesting DA is that they have a very alive community, with correctly tagging your work, you will start getting feedback very soon, which will - hopefully - inspire you.

    There's an important rule of no visible nudity though, that you have to keep in mind for drawings. There are many fetish/bondage related artists and photographers already, you can try and see how they manage it.

    I can very much feel your frustration: since furfashionguide (FFG) has been turned off, that very active community has dissolved, leaving a kind of vacuum behind :(. I have my photos on Flickr, but Yahoo is slowly rusting away as well.

    I wish you the best from my whole heart :).

  4. Thank you, kvaat.

    I know you had mentioned DA before and it is something I have considered, I'm just a bit nervous to do so as I'm not all that confident in my abilities and there are many talented artists there.

    It is something I will keep in mind though if I can work up the courage. I always felt a bit safer flying a little under the radar. Much of the furt fetish community seems to be more focused on the content than the quality and I feel that has always given me a bit of a safety net to fall back on.

  5. I love your work, I don't believe that you are a "lesser" artist than the ones out there. And all of this is a process, what I mean is that people are reflecting back on their works after several years, they are pointing at how they have changed in their techniques, etc - of course you are getting more experience as you go along the path :). But if you don't... than experience does not come on its own. I know it might sound cheesy, but... life is short, you should enjoy and be happy :).

    This is not my own wisdom, I was taught something similar, and made me take a big step on just taking on courage. And it made me very happy, first I started wearing knitted hats with big fur poms - I have several of them now, soft and snug ladies scarves and this winter a ladies down jacket with huge fur trim on the hood - which is the only jacket I have worn this winter. I just love it, each and every moment of it... and looking back thinking about all that fear and lost years, feel kind of bit sad. (Yes, I do have big fluffy fur ear muffs as well, and still trying to get gloves with enormous fur trims in size 8-8.5).

    1. Well, you've convinced me. I will have time to get it started later tonight. I sid remember DA having an adult filter but if there's no nudity that must be gone now (I remember melody o hair soing something similar).

      Do you have any suggestions as to which ones to show?

    2. If you want to find me on Deviant Art I'm on there as fcsy